Frugal Money Schemes
by Lurking Pheonix
Summary: You think your mother's extreme couponing is crazy? Think again! The countries have absurb (and hilarious) money making schemes when they're short on cash. They'll even go to extreme measures to do it. The golden rule of this story: If possible, don't spend money to make money. Ch 29: The Awesome Trio go to a bar and perform 'magic' tricks.
1. Trash to Cash

**I had a plot bunny that I wanted to post. :) I hope everyone enjoys it. Please leave a review. I would love to hear some feedback.**

* * *

Switzerland watches a distressed Lichtenstein in his office crying in her seat. Switzerland had done his best to comfort, but alas, he failed.

Liechtenstein's house was destroyed by a flood. Switzerland, being the caring big brother he is, offered Liechtenstein to stay at his house until her house is repaired.

Unfortunately, they're both tight on money. The Swiss, if he could, would have offered money in a heartbeat to repair her house.

Switzerland is in a dilemma on how to get the funds. He wants Liechtenstein to be happy, so he'll do whatever it takes to do it. He needs a quick way to make some cash. But how?

Switzerland faces his window and lets out a frustrated sigh. Suddenly, he spots Italy walking by while eating a candy bar. Italy tosses the wrapper to the ground in a carefree manner.

Switzerland bristles with anger. "_How dare he trespass __**and**__ litter on my property." _He takes out his gun, ready to scare off Italian, but stops. He stares at the wrapper Italy dropped, and an evil grin crosses his face.

He knows just how he's going to raise the money. And Italy is going to help whether he wants to or not.

Switzerland takes out a different gun from his desk. He turns to the small country and says, "I'll be right back, I need to do something important." Liechtenstein sniffles and nods she heard him.

Switzerland exits his office and prowls through the hallways looking for a window with a good view on Italy. When he finds a good window, he opens it and steadies his gun on his target. The unaware Italian sniffs a flower and sighs in happiness.

The Swiss shots and it hits his target. Italy falls to the ground, paralyzed. Switzerland leaps out of the window, running towards the fallen body. It's a good thing he keeps a blow dart gun handy.

Switzerland grabs Italy by the collar. Italy, unable to move, screams, "Please don't shoot me! I have relatives in your country!"

Switzerland shakes him hard. "Hand over all of your country's trash, now."

Italy's tears stop falling. He tilts his head in confusion. "Ve, don't you mean cash?" Switzerland sets Italy on the ground and points the blow dart gun to the Italian's head. "Do I have to repeat myself? Hand over all your trash. Now."

* * *

Romano is in a foul mood. His own brother ditched him for the potato bastard, his tomatoes taste like crap, and Spain called him Roma.

Romano's cell phone rings and sees Italy on the caller I.D. "What does he want now?" He answers the phone with an angry, "What do you want."

"_F-Fratello, I need y-your half of o-our country's t-trash."_

"What kind of stupido request is that? What do you even need the trash for?"

"_Switzerland wants our t-trash. Please, I need it! If I don't give it to him right now, he'll shoot me and hunt you down!" _

"…."

"_Romano, are you still there?"_

"I'll get all the trash I can get."

* * *

Switzerland smirks in triumph. His country's trash, combined with Italy's, will bring in the money.

Switzerland points to his humongous trash. "Here's the trash, just like I said Sweden."

Sweden remains silent. He hands Switzerland a suitcase full of money. Sweden stares intently at the trash pile. "…This will help my country's energy plants….."

Switzerland counts the money in the suitcase. It's enough money to rebuild Liechtenstein's house. "Pleasure doing business with you."

Spain smiles. He couldn't wait to see his little tomato~

He notices that the door to Romano's house is left open. He finds that a little strange. He enters the house and sees the Italians cowering and hugging each other on the floor.

Spain becomes worried and gets on his knees. "What happened?"

Italy whimpers, "We were robbed."

An alarmed Spain rapidly looks around the house, expecting toppled objects and ruined furniture. It appears it's not a robbery gone bad. The Italian brothers don't have to replace anything in the room.

"What did they steal?"

Romano and Italy say, at the same time, "Our trash."

Spain stares at them, bewildered. "_One man's trash is another man's treasure? I think this robber took it too literally." _

Frugal money scheme: **Success.**

* * *

**The one time Switzerland doesn't chase Italy off his property is when he wants his trash. XD**

**In Sweden, the Swedes use their trash for energy in their energy plants. Currently, they need all the trash they can get, so they turn to other countries and buy their trash. :D**


	2. Intimidation Tactics

**Hello my lovely readers! It's Sweden's time to shine. :D **

**Readers may interpret the SwedenXFinland moments in here as friendship or fluff. It's up to you. I don't want to force any pairings on anyone. **

**I want to lay out the 'rules' the countries are following in this drabble series. **

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**A slight reference to the movie "Elf."**

**The golden rule of 'Frugal Money Schemes is: **

_**If possible, don't spend money to make money.**_

* * *

Sweden helps Finland work on repairing his Santa sleigh. It's old and it requires children to believe in Santa in order for it to fly. But lately, fewer children believe in Santa Clause.

He knows Finland is very upset about this. Because of lack of beliefs, Finland's sleigh is slower and has more difficulty flying. Thus, fewer children are getting presents. This causes even more children to stop believing in 'Santa.'

Finland takes a breather and sighs in disappointment. "Sweden, I don't think I can continue. This sleigh is not going to work anymore, no matter how hard I try to repair it."

Sweden's face shows no emotion, but on the inside he's worried about his wife. Giving presents to children is Finland's passion. He'll never have the same spark he does anymore.

Finland reaches into the sack resting next to his sleigh. He hands Sweden a horror movie. "Can you please return it to America? I…can't at the moment." Finland trudges back inside the house.

Sweden stares at the movie in his hands. Then a brilliant idea hits him.

Why not buy Finland an early Christmas present? The Swede thinks about buying Finland a new sleigh that doesn't rely on the children believing in Santa. But where can he get the money?

The horror movie in his hands gives him some inspiration. Sweden knows how intimidating he is to the other countries. (How could he not? They nearly wet his pants if he even as much looks in their direction.) He'll take advantage of this to get the money.

Normally, he would _never_ do something such as this. But drastic times come with drastic measures. He'll do anything to ensure the happiness of his wife.

_**Anything**__._

America's forced horror movie nights actually came in handy.

* * *

Italy opens the window in his villa and sticks his head out of the window. It is a beautiful day today! The pasta in the oven is cooking, the birds are singing, the flowers smell great, and a cute rabbit is playing with another rabbit.

The doorbell rings and Italy goes to answer it. "Ve, I'm coming~"

Italy opens the door with a goofy smile on his face. "Ciao-" The Italian panics.

There's a creepy guy wearing a mask at his door! The tall figure wears a while mask showing only his creepy eyes. (For some reason, his eyes look so familiar.) The masked man's unblinking eyes are scaring him.

The man holds out a bucket. "…Trick or Treat…"

Italy is confused. It's not even Halloween until next year. "It's not Halloween-"

The masked man's low voice says, "Money, now."

Italy cries and waves his flag. "Please don't rob me! I've already been robbed and I don't want it to happen again."

Sweden sighs. He's going to have to talk more than he ever has in months _and_ do this the hard way.

"I won't leave you alone until you give me money." He leans into Italy's face and pulls out a plastic knife. "I wear a mask for a reason." The real reason is so that Italy won't tell anyone he robbed him, but he doesn't need to know that.

Italy pales and burst into tears. "I'll give you all the money I have. Please don't kill me."

* * *

Sweden holds his hands over Finland's eyes. Finland tries to peel his hands from his face. "What's the surprise Sweden, please tell me."

Sweden remains silent. He walks over to Finland's surprise and uncovers his eyes. Finland's face lights up in amazement.

In the snow is shiny new sleigh with turbo engines and sturdy ropes to hold his reindeer.

Finland lights up in joy. "H-how did you-"

Sweden swiftly avoids answering his question. "You don't need children believing in you to power your sleigh anymore." He wraps his arm around Finland. "and I'll do anything for my wife." Even robbing a harmless Italian for their money.

Finland blushes and squirms in Sweden's grip. "I'm not your wife!"

Now back with Italy….

Italy clings onto Germany and cries into his chest. "Ve, Germany! I've been robbed again."

Germany sighs in frustration. "What happened this time?"

"I was robbed by a very scary trick-or-treater, ve!"

Germany is not so sympathetic. "….Italy…..starting right now, I'm tripling you training."

"Why?"

"To man you up! You need to stop being robbed so easily!"

This is what Italy gets for ditching training today.

Frugal money scheme: **Success**.

* * *

**And that is the story on how Finland got a new sleigh. :D**

**Poor Italy. The countries keep robbing him. XD**

**Right now, I'm taking requests for this story. When I say requests, I mean which country's scheme do you want to see?**

**On my profile, I have a list of countries I plan on doing in order. If you don't see a country but want them included, please ask. I'll be more than happy to add them. Depending on demand, a country will get their chapter sooner than expected. **

**See keep an eye on that list~**


	3. The Trevi Fountain

**I'm so happy there are people out there who like this story. :D **

**My group project at school is taking up a lot of my time. Its due next week so I have to work on it. Luckily, I had some free time to write this. You guys motivated me do that. :D**

**Remember, if you want to see a certain country (or country team. You can make the team as unusual as possible.) in this fic that I haven't listed on my profile, please ask. :)**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**New Rule:**

**4. Countries can team up and work together. (Good luck splitting the money.)**

**And always remember the golden rule of this story is:**

_**If possible, don't spend money to make money.**_

* * *

Romano furiously paces back and forth in Italy's villa. Italy watches, nervous about when his brother is going to explode.

Romano slams his hand against the wall. "Dammit! I'm sick and tired of being robbed! First, Switzerland robs our trash, and then _**you're**_ robbed by a trick-or-treater!"

Italy squirms under Romano's glare. "B-But the trick-or-treater had a k-knife!"

Romano clutches Italy's shoulders. "We're broke! We don't even have money for tomatoes!"

Italy whimpers, "Even pasta?"

Romano shakes Italy. "Yes, even pasta."

Italy cries, "What are we going to do?"

Romano releases Italy and shoves him to the ground. Italy groans as he picks himself up.

Romano looks at Italy with a crazed look in his eye. "I'll tell you what we're going to do, We're going to make some quick cash!"

Italy smiles, "Oh, how about we sell pasta~ Our people love pasta, ve."

Romano smacks Italy. The Northern Italian snivels. His brother is being so mean to him today. Italy thinks being robbed one too many times has finally made Romano snap.

"We don't have the money for that, remember!" Romano's face darkens. "I know the perfect place to get free money."

Italy shivers. He doesn't like it when his brother makes that face. It's kind of creepy. "W-We're not going to your mafia friend's place, are we?"

"No, someplace much better."

* * *

Italy and Romano, in their swim suits, trudge through the waters of the Trevi Fountain gathering all the coins they can in their sacks. Tourists watch in awe and quickly snap photos and videos.

Italy almost trips over Romano's foot, but he manages to catch himself. Romano snaps at Italy, "Hurry up fratello before the cops come."

Italy picks up his pace and puts more coins in his sack. He slugs the sack over his shoulder and breathes heavily, "Ve, are you sure we should be doing this? It's illegal-"

"I don't give a damn. We're north and south Italy, we can do whatever the hell we want with _our _property." Romano waves a quarter in Italy's face. "Including these coins. The stupido tourists throw away perfectly good money for a silly legend."

A hobo strolls over to the brothers. "Can I have those sack full of money? I-"

Romano holds his sack protectively. "Hell no! Get your own damn money, free loader."

The hobo glares intently at Romano. "If you're not going to help your fellow coin diver, then so be it." The hobo, with a quick burst of speed, thrusts Romano to the ground. Once on the ground, the hobo, with expertise, strips Romano of his swim trunks.

The hobo trails his hands over the swim trunks. "Hey, this is some good quality swim wear. I can get some decent money from it."

Romano, blushing horribly, uses both hands to cover his family jewels. "H-Hey you bastard! Give it back!"

The hobo gives him an evil grin, "Screw you." The hobo quickly exits the huge fountain with the swim trunks in hand.

Italy tries to appeal to the man, "Please come back! I'll make you some tasty pasta!"

The police appear as soon as the hobo left. One of the police officers shouts, "You're under arrest for theft and public indecency."

Romano curses and shakes his fist at them, "You'll never catch me alive."

Cat calls and whistles are heard from the crowd. Romano is nearly blinded from the flashes from the photos.

Italy jumps in front of Romano and hugs him. Now no one can take pictures of his brother's private parts. "I'll shield you Romano!"

The cops swarm around the two Italians, cuffs ready.

Romano struggles to get Italy off of him. "Get off of me, fratello! It's looks disgusting."

Italy shakes his head. "No! Then everyone will see your Tower of Pisa."

Romano blushes terribly. "Why do you call it that!"

"That's what brother France calls it."

"….He's dead when I break out of jail….and that damn hobo too…"

He can't believe they're caught, but not that hobo. He's going to get his revenge when he finds him.

The next day, Spain had to bail them out of jail because they couldn't pay the fee. (And Spain had to bring them clothes, too.) The newspaper in the Spaniard's hands didn't bring any good news wither. The headline?

_**Sexy Twin Incest in Trevi Fountain. Foiled Bonnie and Clyde Robbery?**_

Romano didn't know what was worse: the fact that people thought he was romantically involved with his own brother, the Italian media strangely referred them as Bonnie and Clyde, or there are videos of the incident on YouTube.

In the end, they didn't keep to keep the money they collected from the fountain. The brothers were forced to turn it over to the cops. All he got from his hard work is nothing but embarrassment and shame.

The other countries will never let them live it down at the next world meeting.

Frugal money scheme: **Failure**.

* * *

**A traditional legend holds that if visitors throw a coin into the fountain, they are ensured a return to Rome.**

**An estimated 3,000 ****euros ****are thrown into the fountain each day.**

**Poor Romano, there are videos of him naked on the internet. XD Italy just had to make it worse.**

**Edit: I know the brothers are not twins. The media thought they were because they looked alike. The headline is supposed to highlight how inaccurate gossip colmuns and the few unrealible newspapers can be. I'm sorry for not putting that piece of information before in the end author notes. **


	4. Sexy German Car Wash

**I'm so happy that people love my plot bunny! :3 It's more successful than my other three fics. **

**Last chapter marked the end of the 'torture the Italians arc." I'm curious, does anyone want the Italian brothers to attempt another scheme? **

**After reading Pms and reviews, I noticed some of you guys were cheering them on after them being robbed too many times. XD I didn't think about giving them another shot, but I'll give them another chance if you want to.**

**I set up a poll on my profile for the Italian brothers. Make sure you vote for their fate. :D**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**Warning: German (and Prussian) sexiness up ahead. Read at your own risk. ;)**

_**If possible, don't spend money to make money.**_

* * *

Germany looks at his brother in disappointment. Prussia is moaning in pain from his hangover. He's lying on his bed, with his blanket only covering half of his body. Prussia grips his head and weakly says, "West, tell the light to shut up."

Germany glares at Prussia harshly. "Do you know that I have to pay for that bill you left at the bar? I can't afford it right now."

Prussia pulls his blanket over his head. "I didn't drink that much."

Germany yanks the blanket from Prussia. Prussia tumbles to the floor ungracefully. "You drank over 20 bottles of expensive beer! And on top of that, you got drunk and destroyed the bar's karaoke machine."

Prussia uses the bed to steadily lift himself up. "The awesome me didn't get completely drunk. The bar didn't even have a karaoke machine."

Germany, red face with anger, yells, "Because of you, not anymore they don't."

Prussia stumbles to the door. "I have an awesome idea. Let's raise some money to pay for the bill."

Germany raises an eyebrow. Prussia actually has a good idea? In the morning? This is the only bright side of Prussia's hangovers; he gets some decent ideas from it.

"What do you propose we do, then?"

Prussia grins. "We're going to use you neat freak skills to use," Prussia groans and heads towards the bathroom down the hallway. "After I'm done with this hangover."

* * *

It was about four in the afternoon when the brothers were finally ready to do Prussia's idea. After the morning fiasco, Prussia, shockingly, took some responsibility to do his idea: a car wash.

Prussia is in their driveway preparing their mini car wash. A giant bright yellow sign with the words "Awesome Car Wash Here!" in Prussia's handwriting is seen on the garage door. A few lawn chairs are scattered around the driveway. Prussia turns on his iPod to a random song. He takes the hose and sprays the water into the buckets. He dips his hands into the buckets and rubs the water onto his face.

Prussia grimaces. "I didn't think it was going to be this hot today." Prussia wipes his hands on his black wife beater shirt.

There's tons of cleaning supplies in their house. Prussia thinks they might as well put it to use besides Germany cleaning the house. (It's already spotless, dammit! But no, West can't see that.)

Prussia feels a little guilty. Yes, he, the awesome Prussia can feel guilt sometimes, even though he doesn't like showing it. The Prussian knew that they were tight on money, but he went out drinking with the other members of the Bad Touch Trio anyway. Germany puts a roof over his head, and this is how he repays his brother.

Germany walks out of the house with towels, sponges, a cash box in the shape of a German Shepard, and soap. Germany sets the supplies next to the radio on the table.

Prussia raises an eyebrow. "Is that it? I thought you had more."

Germany replies, "Ja, I do, but I'm not wasting all of it. I still need it to clean the house."

Prussia holds up the hose and says, "We don't need it anyway. We can just hose the cars anyway. It's not like they'll notice." Prussia has a devious plan. He doesn't want Germany to know about it just yet. If the German discovers his plan too soon, he'll put a stop to it.

Come on, he doesn't want to work on a hot day like this! It's the perfect time to score some woman.

Germany scolds him. "Nein, that is deceitful. You shouldn't-" Germany is interrupted by a woman in a dirty red sports car pulling up into the driveway.

The blonde woman stops the car. She lowers her black sunglasses and dully says, "Look, I need a quick wash. My car drove through a huge patch of mud and it got all over my car. I, like, can't go to my friend's pool party like this."

Prussia is glad he set up the mud on the road earlier. It'll help bring in the customers sooner. What? He didn't want to stand there all day waiting for people to come. And people say he didn't think through his plans.

Prussia places his hand behind her back. "You can sit on the lawn chair over there while you wait." The woman nods and goes to find a good spot.

Prussia waves to Germany. "Hey West, can you go get some more soap? There isn't enough to wash this car."

Germany grumbles and walks back inside to get it. Prussia smirks. Now he can put his true fundraiser into action. He wants to fun if he has to work for money. He rushes over to the table and takes out a sticky note from his pocket. It reads "Tip Jar."

Prussia changes the song to "Too sexy for my shirt." Prussia gets into place and moves his body with the music. He teasingly shifts his white hair and winks at the woman. The woman blushes. There's even drool coming out of her mouth.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts~" Prussia slowly lifts up his wife beater, to build suspense.

The woman squeals and whips out her phone. "Get your asses over here! There's a sexy guy doing a car wash." As the woman gives her friends directions to the brothers' house, Prussia grins.

It looks like all is going according to his plan.

* * *

Germany walks out of the house with loads of soap in his arms, blocking his view as he carefully walks out the door. He hears several women, and a few men, screaming "More! More!"

Germany is wondering what the hell his older brother is doing. He's almost afraid to look at his brother's stunt. He has a strong feeling he's going to have to clean up this mess.

Germany sets the boxes of soap next to the table, and then he gasps in shock.

Prussia, shirtless, is standing on the hood of the sports car waving his wife beater. The large crowd howls and hoots in excitement.

Prussia stops when he sees Germany. He jumps of the car and jogs up to him. "How do you like my fundraiser? It's bringing in the money."

Sure enough, it was bringing in the money. The tip jar is stuffed with cash. The German sheppard dog cash box looks as though it's choking on money. A mysterious box is there with large bundles of cash.

Germany explodes, "Prussia, this is inappropriate! This is not how a car wash is run!"

Prussia waves off Germany's comment. "You're right. It's usually run with lots of women." Prussia gets another bright idea. Two in one day? Prussia is on a roll!

Prussia swiftly rips off Germany's wife beater shirt. "Now there are _two_ people performing."

Germany blushes badly. The cat calls and flashing lights made Germany feel even worse. The German does his best to cover himself. Germany yells, "Prussia!"

A police siren halts the commotion. A female police officer steps out of the police car. The crowd parts for her as she walks toward the brothers.

"So this is what's causing the traffic jam. It also explains why people are pulling over and splashing their own cars with mud."

The police officer looks at Germany and licks her lips. Germany feels very uncomfortable under her watchful eyes. This woman is giving off a creeper vibe. "Maybe I won't ticket you if he continues with the…..act"

Germany sputters. He couldn't believe this woman is a police officer. Doesn't she care there are witnesses who will report her for this?

Prussia wraps an arm around his brother. "Come one, little brother, it'll be fun." Prussia lowers his voice. "You don't want to pay the ticket, do you?"

Germany reluctantly agrees. If this prevents them from getting a ticket, then so be it. Besides, he also has to pay for the bar bill.

Prussia helps Germany onto the sports car's hood. "Just copy what I do and you'll do fine~"

Germany looks over to the police officer. She has a front row seat to the "action."

"Strip tease! Strip Tease! Strip Tease!"

Germany blushes and gulps. This is officially the most embarrassing day of his life.

Is this what he gets for smirking at Romano's agony on YouTube? The Southern half of Italy always curses at him, so he glad karma bit him in the ass….literally. Germany swears he sees someone recording this.

Looks like he's joining Romano on YouTube. The countries will never leave him alone now.

Prussia screams over the music, "Say it with me: Too sexy for my sexy, too sexy for my sexy!"

Germany gulps, "T-Too s-sexy..."

Prussia pats Germany's back. "Don't mutter! Say it with enthusiasm. We'll be charged with a fine if you don't."

Germany shudders when he sees the police officer licking her lips again. She winks at him and slides her hand down her leg, and a bit under her skirt.

Germany blushes even worse. He looks above the crowd, focusing his attention on the dogs playing across the street. That way, the audience will think he's looking at them. He gulps and sings as loud as he could, "Too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt."

The crows screams, "Encore! Encore! Encore!"

It's going to be a very long day for Germany.

* * *

After that incident, Prussia is never allowed to hold 'car washes' –it was a strip show on a car for crying out loud- near him again. As much as it pains Germany to say it, the 'car wash' brought in a lot of money. It paid off the bill and he was able to buy more cleaning supplies. As long as Prussia doesn't drag the German into it, or the police, he's fine with it.

Speaking of the police, he's going to ask his boss to pull some strings and have her boss fire her. Germany doesn't care if he's abusing his country privileges, he wants the perverted woman fired, dammit!

* * *

Fugal Money Scheme: **Success**. A very sexy success~

**Come on, I know you guys would pay to go to that car wash. ;D I know I would. **

**This is my longest chapter yet. XD I thought it was going to be short, but whatever. **


	5. The Imposter Part 1

**Because of the reviews I've received, I was inspired to work harder and to release this chapter sooner. :D **

**I'm delivering my speech today! Wish me luck. *nervous as hell 'cuz she doesn't want to let down her team***

**I've neglected my other story, **_**Adapting to Modern Times,**__** because of this fic. xD**_

**Judging by the poll results and reviews, I will type a new chapter for Romano and Italy. *cheers* A lot of people felt strongly they deserved a new scheme attempt, so Romano and Italy will get another chance to earn money.**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**If I received inspiration or ideas from any author, I will give them credit at the end of the chapter. **

_**If possible, don't spend money to make money.**_

* * *

Canada sighs as he looks into the bathroom mirror. He's dressed in America's brown suit with the bomber jacket on top. Canada fiddles with America's glasses. _It's a good thing America and I have blue eyes, or else I'll have to find contacts at the last minute._

Canada glances outside the open door to see a unconscious and naked America tied up in chains. America is still pale from shock and fear. Kumajiro, wearing the white sheet, hovers over America, America's iPod in his paws. The polar bear plays with the iPod, looking for decent lyrics to hear.

Canada still can't believe he's doing this to his own brother. Maybe he should have dressed America before tieing him with the chains. But then again, he doesn't feel comfortable doing that. The Canadian recalls what had happened earlier before he got himself into this mess.

* * *

_Canada drowns his pancakes in maple syrup. He's very frustrated, even though his face doesn't show it. Cuba beat him up the other day –mistaking him for America, again- and stole his money. Apparently, America owed Cuba money from their last poker game and the American refused to pay him._

_Now, Canada doesn't have enough money to buy maple syrup tomorrow. Hell, he doesn't even have money for food in general._

_Canada furrows his eyebrows in irritation. "Oh Maple, if only I can stand up to America." He and his pet polar bear are going to starve because America didn't pay up._

_Kumajiro shuffles from his spot on the Canadian's lap. "Feed me, what's-your-face."_

_Canada sighs. "I'm Canada, your owner."_

_Kumajiro reaches for the plate of pancakes. "Who?"_

_Canada frowns. He restrains his polar bear, wrapping his arms around its waist. "That's my pancakes, kumajiji. Your breakfast is on the floor."_

_On the floor is an empty red bowl. The bowl is licked clean of the salmon that was in it a while ago._

_Kumajiro struggles to escape from Canada's grip. "I'm still hungry. Feed me, stingy human."_

"_I haven't eaten yet. And, I'm not stingy. I gave you a tasty salmon, eh"_

"_It was tiny! Hand over the pancakes, stingy human!" _

_Yes, Canada is having an argument over food with an animal. It's a normal occurrence for him._

_Loud knocking at the door interrupts their arguing. Canada sets the polar bear down and grabs his plate of pancakes. He doesn't want kumalilo (that's his pet's name, right?) eating his pancakes the moment he turns his back on him. _

_Canada goes to answer the door. He opens it to find America standing there, energetic as usual. He can tell by the knocks that it was America. The American is the only person Canada knows who obnoxiously knocks on a door like that. _

_America beams at the Canadian. "Hey Canada-" America actually remembers his name this time. "how are ya?"_

"_Fine-"_

_America snatches the plate of pancakes. He picks up the fork and sticks a huge chuck of pancakes into his mouth. With his mouth full, America says, "Pancakes for me? Great Canadian hospitality you got there." America invites himself into the house and strolls to the kitchen._

_America finishes the pancakes and deposits it into the sink. Canada follows America, silently fuming. _

_Forget America inviting himself into his house. How dare he eat his pancakes when the Canadian is starving! _

_Canada whispers, "But I was going to eat that."_

_America ignores him. "Hey Canada, you don't mind if I borrow your shower, do ya? My shower broke and I need yours. I got lunch with the Allies later at the usual place and time, and I don't want to smell bad."Canada nearly snaps. _

_He's only remembered for his shower!_

"_You can't-"_

"_I'll go get a towel. I already brought spare clothes." America walks to the bathroom and slams the door._

_Canada is angry._ _Really_ _angry. Canada may have difficulty standing up to his brother, but eating his pancakes is crossing the line! And the American had the nerve to use his shower. By the time he's done using it, it'll be filthy. Canada will have an extra chore._

_If he was like America, he can do whatever he wants and get away with it._

_A brilliant idea strikes Canada. America mentioned something about lunch, so why not pretend to be America for a day? He can get_ _free_ _(He's can't pitch in. He's tight on money) lunch and be seen. _

_Truth be told, Canada is going to feel very guilty if he's through with his plan._

_America yells, "Hey Canada, I'm going to borrow your sponge, I know you won't mind."_

_On second thought, he's not going to feel guilty about this after all._

_Canada calls for his pet. "Kuma, come over here. I need you."_

_Kumajiro huffs and stalks over to Canada. "Why should I help a stranger who doesn't know my name?"_

_Canada decides not to make a comment this time. "We need to work together."_

_Kumajiro yawns and walks over to the sofa. "Why?"_

_Canada ponders for a moment. "I need America distracted so I can get us some food."_

_Kumajiro quickly turns his attention back on Canada. "What do you want me to do?" Kumajiro wags his paw at Canada. "You better hold up on your side of the deal."_

_Canada nods. "That sounds fair." Canada looks around the living room and finds what he's looking for: a small white sheet. He grabs a scissor from the coffee table and cuts two small holes. The Canadian pulls the sheet over Kumajiro._

_Kumajiro blinks. He adjusts the sheet, curiosity in his eyes. "And this sheet is for…."_

_Canada finishes Kumajiro's thought. "Pretend to be a ghost and scare America. Keep him distracted until I come back with the food." It's a good thing he knows America is afraid of horror movies. Any other time, he would feel bad for taking advantage of his brother's fears. _

_But America ate his pancakes. Canada's eyes harden. America is not getting any pity right now. "America is in the bathroom-"_

_Kumajiro dashes to the bathroom. The door is unlocked, so the polar bear easily slips in. Kumajiro screeches, "I'm a ghost, fear me mortal!"_

_America screams in terror, "Demon-ghost! Canadia, save me!" The American, still naked, runs out of the bathroom in fear. But he slips and slams into the wall. Kumajiro casually walks out of the bathroom with America's iPod in his paws._

_Canada mumbles, "I'll go get the chains, eh."_

Canada sighs again. The things he has to do for food. Canada fumbles with his comb, trying to comb back his curl. It keeps popping back into its regular place. The Canadian gently takes some pieces of hair and curls it into a fake cowlick.

Canada grimaces. The 'cowlick' is too curly to look like America's real cowlick, but it'll have to do. Canada decides to practice his voice.

Canada murmurs, "I'm the hero." Canada shakes his head. He needs a loud voice like America's. If he doesn't, then people will start asking questions.

Canada tries again. "I love hamburgers." It was louder than before, but not good enough.

Canada does his third attempt. "Ha ha ha! Take that you commie!" Canada smiles. He got it right this time. Canada strides out of the bathroom. He looks at Kumajrio questionably.

Canada, using his 'America' voice, says, "I'm going to get the food now. I'll be back as soon as I can."

The moment Canada walks out of the house, Kumajiro finds the lyrics he's looking for. It's the Michael Meyer theme. The haunting theme plays as America groans. He wakes up to find himself in chains.

His eyes widen. "W-What-"

Kumajiro raises his paws and says in a creepy voice, "It's time to play, America."

America screams, "The demon-ghost knows my name! I'm cursed!" America tries to free himself from the chains. "I hear creepy music! I'm going to die!"

Kumajiro smirks. He's going to have a lot of fun with the idiotic American. With him around, it'll keep the polar bear distracted long enough from his hunger pains. In fact, his growling stomach adds to the creepy atmosphere.

America shrieks, "It's going to eat me!"

Frugal money scheme: **still in progress.**

* * *

**The moral of this story: fuck with a Canadian and their pancakes, and you'll get hell for it.**

**This is part one for Canada's scheme. I want to do a part two with Canada going around masquerading as America. I think it'll be interesting to see that happen, so voilà, an extra chapter. :D **

**Thank you Guest for the kumajiro idea. I already had this chapter and the next one planned out, but I was stumped on what Canada should do to keep America distracted. When you mentioned the confederate ghost and sicking Kuma on someone idea, Kumajiro dressing up as a ghost to scare America happened. XD**


	6. The Imposter and the Allies Part 2

**I'm seriously spoiling you guys. I update every 2-3 days. :)**

**Canada's chapter was also supposed to be one chapter. But the chapter became too long and I had to separate it into two parts. XD**

**The idea of Canada walking around as America was too tempting to resist. :3 Now, I have two chapters for Canada. He deserves some screen time.**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**If there's a country you want to see, but they're not on the list on my profile, you can request them. :D**

**If there's enough demand for a country already on the list to appear sooner, I will do them sooner.**

_**If possible, don't spend money to make money.**_

* * *

Canada is outside the restaurant, _Around the world_, nervous. His fingers play with the brown bag strap. The bag contains the plastic bags, ready to have food dumped in it at any moment.

It's a good thing he knows where the usual place and time the Allies meet for lunch is. Even though they forgot to invite him a majority of the time.

He hopes the Allies don't recognize him as an imposter. The results would be disastrous. They'll probably beat him to a pulp for 'impersonating' a country. They don't even remember him as Canada!

All this for food.

Canada lets out the breath he was holding. He does a fist pump. _I can do this! America is my brother. I know him better than other countries. If anyone can impersonate him, it's me. _

Canada pushes the door to the restaurant and enters. France and England's arguing caught his attention. It appears the group decided to eat at the back of the restaurant this time.

Last time, Russia scared the other customers away with his dark, purple aura. The manager kindly asked them to sit in the back the next time they came. (Since the Allies brought a lot of money to the restaurant, they weren't kicked out.)

Once Canada nears the group, he can hear their arguing clearly.

The men are sitting at a round table. England is at the edge of the table with France next to him. Obviously they are the ones arguing. China is sitting next to France. China grumbles as he eats his dumplings. Russia is next to China, drinking his Vodka calmly.

England slams the menu on the table. "For the last time you bloody frog, I'm not ordering French food!"

France argues back, "Why not? It's better than that English trash you call food."

Canada thinks it's a good idea to break up the fight. He remembers he has to use the 'hero' persona America blabs about. Well, here goes his best shot.

Canada waves. "Yo, the hero is here to save the day! Why don't we all order hamburgers?"

The Allies stare at him. China cynically stares at him. "You look different today, America."

Canada breaks out into sweat. _Maple. They caught me too quickly. I thought I would last longer than this!_

Canada does his best obnoxious laugh. "Of course it's me, dudes. Are ya too blinded by my heroic-ness to tell?" Please, for the love of maple syrup, buy it!

France rubs his chin. He leans over the table to get a better view of 'America.' France snaps his fingers, "You have a new hairstyle."

Russia stops drinking his vodka. "Da. His cowlick is curlier."

Canada's nerves are eating him. He sits down at the edge of the seat, next to Russia, and gives a large smile. He doesn't take off his bag. Canada curls his 'cowlick.' "You think so? I think it looks the same."

They're interrupted by the waitress coming to their table. "What would you like to order, gentlemen?"

As the Allies have their orders taken, Canada quickly glances at their faces. It appears the distraction took their mind of his 'cowlick.'

When it's his turn to order, Canada says, "I'll have three double cheeseburgers, five stakes, four salmon, and an extra large drink, ma'am."

The waitress nods and writes down the order. The waitress looks used to taking America's large orders of food.

The waitress leaves after ignoring France's flirty winks. England shakes his head with shame at Canada. "God, America. Must you order tons of food every time we come here? You're going to become fat if you keep this up."

Canada thinks up a quick combat. He thinks America would in this situation. "Of course Iggy! It helps my taste buds recover from eating your crap."

England's face turns red with rage. England lunges over the table. "Why you wanker!" England is luckily held back by France and China. While France and China calm down England, Canada thinks about the British man's reaction.

Canada feels guilty. Maybe he went too far with that comment. During the commotion, Russia unwillingly hands Canada a stack of cash. Canada stares at it, confused.

Russia places it on the table when Canada doesn't take it from his hand. Russia says, "It's the money you won from our poker match."

Canada nods. "Thanks, Commie." Russia's aura returns. He mutters his infamous "kolkolkols" before his hands lingers over to his coat, prepared to take out his pipe.

Canada thought Cuba won against America in the poker game. Then again, this could be a different poker game Russia's talking about.

Russia gives a dark, cheerful smile. "I'll win the next time." Canada shudders. He hates having to say rude comments. It's unlike him. He's going to get beat up severely if he keeps this up.

England, France, and China slide a few bundles of cash across the table to Canada. China unhappily says, "Here's the money we owe you."

Canada beams. With this money, he'll have plenty of money to survive a few weeks until his boss remembers to give him money. (Sadly, he marks days on his calendar he knows when his boss will remember to pay him.)

Canada exclaims, "Thanks, dudes! I'll kick your asses for sure again." Canada winces at the curse word he said. His throat is strained from speaking loudly today. He doesn't know how much longer he can last before he starts whispering again.

Canada looks on the bright side. The countries are finally acknowledging him! (Even though they think he's America. The irony.) They're not beating him up or ignoring him.

France is upset, but cheers up. "I'll win strip poker next time~ I can't wait to see if you're wearing boxers or briefs." France winks and chuckles.

China smacks France. "Aiyah! Don't say perverted stuff at the table!" China grumbles, "I'll be the one winning strip poker night next week, aru."

Canada blushes. The Allies really were playing strip poker? He thought it was France, being _France_, trying to embarrass America. He doesn't want to know the other things America is doing in his spare time.

The waitress arrives with the food. "Here's your orders, gentlemen."

Canada digs in and eats the hamburgers first. In normal circumstances, Canada would never eat a hamburger. But, America loves hamburgers, so he has to eat it. And look immature when he's eating it too. Canada takes a bite out of the hamburger and grins.

It just like the phrase he heard: when you're hungry, anything tastes delicious.

The moment the countries are not looking in Canada's direction, he dumps the rest of the food into his bag. The plastic bad makes a slight crunch. He looks to see if the Allies heard it.

Thankfully, they're either too busy arguing or eating to notice. Canada takes this as his cue to escape. He didn't want to help pay the bill with his new found stash of money.

Canada stands up. "Hey dudes, I gotta go take a dump. I'll be right back." The moment Canada makes it home; he's going to wash his mouth out with soap. He feels very dirty.

The nations look at him with disgust. England says, "Keep that to yourself, you disgusting git! We're trying to eat."

Russia cheerfully says, "Americans are pigs, da."

Canada power walks to the direction of the bathrooms. Once out of sight of the countries, Canada dashes for the nearest window. He stumbles, but manages to open it. He ducks out of it, much to the surprise of other customers, and scrambles to freedom.

* * *

America sighs. He finally escaped from the demon-ghost and made it back home. He's gonna eat some McDonalds to help his hero-ness meter go back up.

Uh, he means he needs to refill his energy! After trying to heroically trying to find and rescue…what was his name again….Anyway, after determining there were no more survivors, he had to escape with minor injuries.

He can't believe a demon-ghost would tie him up in chains and stole his iPod! Looks like he's going to have to buy a new one.

America hears loud knocking from the door. He goes to see Allies, furious.

"What up, dudes? I don't remember inviting you guys for a party."

China shoves a slip of paper to his face. "Don't play dumb with us! You snuck out of the restaurant and left us with the bill."

America takes the bill from China's hand. He stares at it, confused. He doesn't remember going to lunch with them.

America exclaims, "I didn't go to the restaurant with you guys. I was attacked by a demon-ghost."

England scoffs. "And you claim you don't believe in magical creatures."

Russia takes out his pipe. "It looks like we're going to have to remind him."

The other Allies surround America, preventing him from escaping.

For some reason, America thought the situation felt ironic. But he doesn't understand why.

* * *

Canada and Kumajiro are enjoying their dinner. Canada kept his end of the bargain with Kumajrio. The polar bear ate the salmon in peace.

Canada shyly whispers, "Can you please turn off the music. It's kind of…creepy." The Micheal Myer music is scaring Canada.

Kumajiro shakes his head. "No. It brings…fond memories."

To Canada, it felt disturbing to hear that come from Kumajiro's mouth. Maybe he shouldn't have left him in the house alone with America. The constant hunger might have drove the polar bear insane.

_Note to self never neglect to feed Kuma. _

Frugal Money Scheme: **Success**.

* * *

**I felt kinda bad for torturing Canada in my other fic Canada's Invisibility Cloak, so I made his scheme a success.**

**Canada can be sneaky if he puts his mind to it. :3 Poor America. xD He's getting beat up instead of Canada.**

**I think I'll do more chapters with Canada pretending to be America. That'll be fun to do. xD**

**Next chapter will have Russia. :) His will be….interesting. **


	7. Russia's Shady Circus

**I never knew this story would get so much love! I'm glad a lot of people like it.:3**

**The list on my profile is so long, it'll be a long time before America gets his revenge. xD**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**There's a very slight Wizard of Oz reference.**

**The golden rule: **_**If possible, don't spend money to make money.**_

* * *

Russia and the Baltic States are in an empty field with a giant purple tent in the middle.

The Russian smiles at the cowering Baltic States. He's happy they're going to help him with his cause.

Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania shake as they watch Russia smile at them. Lithuania shivers. "I-Is there something you need us for, Russia?"

Russia nods. "Da, I do." Russia gestures to the tent behind them. "I need money for Vodka, so I'll raise money using circus." Russia had visited a circus near his home earlier in the day. The ringmaster was so understanding. The ringmaster allowed him to borrow it. Russia noticed that the ringmaster had an evil smile. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that~

Latvia stares at it. "You're using clowns? That's kind of lame." Estonia and Lithuania gasp. Both of them clasp their hands on Latvia's mouth in fear.

Russia's dark aura flares. Russia's smile stands out creepily. "We Russians take the circus seriously." Russia leans towards Latvia's face. "Very seriously, da."

Estonia tries to stir the conversation to a more positive topic. "How are we going to split the profit?"

Russia laughs, "Your pay is watching a high quality circus."

The Baltic States' shoulders slump in disappointment. They were going to work with no pay.

Hopefully, Russia won't work them to death, _too_ much.

* * *

Russia is panicking. It is the day of the circus and the performers are missing. The audience stands are empty. The tent is silent; except for Lithuania and Latvia scrambling around, looking for the missing performers. Russia was sure the tickets are sold out. He has the money to prove it.

Despite already having the money from the ticket sales, Russia still wants to put on a good show.

Latvia makes an offhand comment to Lithuania. "Maybe the performers are a no-show because Russia scared them away? He's pretty intimidating."

Lithuania scolds Latvia. "Not so loud. W-What if Russia hears…." Lithuania pauses to hear Russia's kolkolkols. The Lithuanian waves his arms frantically. "D-Don't listen to Latvia! I-I'm sure they're all stuck..in…..traffic…"

Russia smiles 'innocently.' His smile terrifies the two countries. "Lithuania, go get Estonia from the concession stand. I need him and you two for our new…..acts."

The intimidated countries stutter.

Russia opens a chest and grins. "I have your costumes right here."

* * *

Ukraine and Belarus are the only ones sitting in the stands. They have front row seats to the show. Belarus stuffs popcorn in her mouth. She frowns. "Estonia gave me terrible popcorn."

Ukraine frowns. She starts tearing up. "Poor Russia! His circus is a failure. We're the only ones who showed up."

Belarus disagrees. "With all the support I gave, Russia will be so joyful he'll ask to become one with him!"

Ukraine stops crying. She looks at Belarus, confusion written on her face. "Support?"

Belarus smiles creepily. "I bought all the tickets! No one is allowed to see Russia's circus, except for me." Belarus looks thoughtful for a moment. "And you too. You're not trying to steal him away from me."

Ukraine looks at Belarus in shock. "How could you afford all of those tickets? It wasn't cheap, surely."

Belarus only replies, "It's starting."

Russia, dressed in a ringmaster outfit, stands in the center, the lights shining on him. He's glad Estonia was able to work on the lighting. It wouldn't be a circus without colorful lights.

Lithuania is waving at Belarus from his spot next to a giant ring. Belarus scoffs at Lithuania's clown wardrobe. In her opinion, the man looks ridicules. Unlike him, Russia looks handsome in his ringmaster clothes.

"Welcome ladies and-" Russia observes the stands and sees Ukraine and Belarus are the only audience members. Belarus holds up a bright yellow 'Marry me' sign. Russia shudders. He wants to flee so badly, but his pride refuses to allow him to. The show must go on.

"Welcome Ukraine and….Belarus-" Belarus shrieks 'let's become one!' Ukraine tries to quiet Belarus. "Belarus, please don't interrupt Russia. This is not a concert."

Russia whimpers. Maybe doing a circus wasn't such a good idea after all. Russia's thoughts are interrupted by Latvia walking to stand beside him. Latvia is wearing fake cat ears. The Latvian's costume consists of a white, fluffy white body suit complete with a curly tail.

Russia decides it's a better idea to distract Belarus with the circus acts. After she's distracted, he'll make a run for it.

Judging by the look on Belarus' face, he needs some very interesting acts to keep her attention from him. She looks like a predator watching its prey!

Russia attempts to smile. It's comes off awkward. The Russian pats Latvia's head. "For the first act, I'll make this man-cat shrink into a normal household cat." Latvia protests, "N-No! I'll never get a girlfriend if I get any shorter!"

Russia ignores his pleas. He pushes down on the 'man-cat's' head. Latvia squeals. He glances at Belarus and sees her bored. She's still more interested on him.

Russia stops shrinking Latvia and says, "It's time for the second act." Latvia rubs his head as he tries to walk out the back door of the stage. The former communist catches wind of this and grabs Latvia by the scruff of his collar. Latvia gulps.

"The ring of fire."

Latvia nearly faints. He was going to the hospital after this is over.

"My assistant Lithuania-" Lithuania pipes in a 'Hello Belarus.' Belarus ignores the man. The Lithuanian sighs in disappointment. "will race Latvia through the ring of fire and swim through the shark pit, and into the canon, launching one of them into the bull's-eye."

Lithuania and Latvia gasp in unison, "A shark pit!?" Lithuania is wondering what in the world a circus is doing with a shark pit. And how did they even have one in the middle of a field.

Russia uses his baton to signal to Estonia. Estonia grimaces and flips the switch. The floor opens to reveal a pool of water. Sure enough, two bull sharks jump out of the water, snapping at the air.

Lithuania begs, "R-Russia! This is inhumane."

Russia smiles. "No, it's entertainment. Now-" Russia takes a hold of Lithuania's collar. "Go!"

Russia hurls the two countries through the ring of fire. Latvia and Lithuania grab each other, screaming for their lives. The fire burns their sides as they pass through. They wince before they face palm on the ground.

Unfortunately for them, a strange creature emerged from the pool. It had the head of a shark, with body of a walrus. Latvia shrieks, "Mutated shark!" Lithuania and Latvia scream and run around with the shark chasing them.

Russia stares after them in mild surprise. _Why is there a mutated shark in a circus?_

An arm grips the edge of the tank. A monkey squirms out of pool, soaking wet. It spreads its wings and takes flight. More flying monkeys mimic its actions. A few of the flying monkeys attacks Estonia.

Estonia bats them off, but trips to the ground below. Ukraine catches him in her arms. Ukraine looks at him, concerned. "Are you okay, Estonia?" Estonia just groans.

No wonder the ringmaster happily gave him the circus for free. It's pretty shady.

Belarus, seeing Russia distracted, takes advantage of this opportunity. She leaps into the air, prepared to knock him to the ground. "Marry me! Marry me! Marry me! **MARRY ME**!"

Russia screeches in terror. "Leave me alone!" Russia dodges Latvia and jumps into the canon. One of the mischievous monkeys lights the canon. The moment Belarus is near the canon, it launches Russia into the air and rears through the tent.

"VOOOODDDDKAAAA!"

* * *

From that day on, the Baltic States were afraid of going to the circus. The trauma was too much for them to handle. If any countries ever invite them to go to the circus, they run out of the room screaming. (Especially Russian circuses.)

It didn't affect Belarus and Ukraine too badly. The monkeys didn't try to do anything to the woman. The monkeys were pretty sexist.

As for Russia, he demanded laws against shady circuses. He was so adamant, no one dared to turn down his 'proposals.' (It sounded more like treats.)

No one knows where the Walrus-shark hybrid and mutant monkeys disappeared to….. Oh well. It's Russia's problem now.

Frugal Money Scheme: **Success**.

Russia's circus: **Complete and utter failure**.

* * *

**The Wizard of Oz reference is the flying monkeys. I couldn't resist. xD**

**I remember in cartoons, circuses always had to have a freak show. So, this chapter had a freak show gone horribly wrong…..with mutant animals. :D**

**Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong in this fic. Joy for us, pain and suffering for the countries. :)**

**The reason I did a circus chapter for Russia: I watched a documentry on television a few years ago. Did you know that Russia has colleges to become a peformer at a circus?**


	8. The Extreme Cheapskates Show

**Hello everyone! :D Ever since I got ****Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin's ****suggestions for China in a review, I got some wonderful inspiration for China's chapter. I was so excited to post this chapter. xD It's has some of my favorite scenes. **

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**The golden rule: **_**If possible, don't spend money to make money.**_

* * *

In China's motel room, the camera crew readies their equipment with China smiling as he watches them. He never imagined he would one day participate in _Extreme Cheapskates._

China remembered badgering America to hand over the money he owes him, as he usually does. America insisted that he didn't have the money. (Damn cheapskate. The Allies already paid him from the strip poker match.) America suggested to earn money on an American reality television show called _Extreme Cheapskates. _

The Chinese man didn't budge at first. But when America mentioned that all he had to do was show amazing money saving techniques and be paid for it, China agreed to the idea. Luckily, America used his connections to get him as the next guest on _Extreme Cheapskates._

China grins. He'll show those Americans a thing or two about the right way to save money.

A man comes up to China and shakes his hand. "Hello, Mr…..?"

China replies with his alias, "Wang. Wang Yao."

"Nice name. I'm Stephen David." Stephen's eyes glimmers with excitement. "We're starting season two right here in New York. Judging by what Alfred said, you're going to bring in a lot of viewers. Better than the other applicant with his dumpster diving skills."

China asks curiously, "How does this show work, aru?" China has never appeared on reality television. He's unsure of what he's supposed to do.

Stephen waves his hand. "Simple, Mr. Wang. All you have to do is tell and show us the _extreme _things you do to save money." Stephen motions to the camera crew. "The camera crew will follow you around, recording everything you do."

China beams. "Alright, aru." This will be easy. An Allies meeting is going to be held a week from today. China booked a room at a nearby cheap motel. He wanted to book at a nicer hotel, but he doesn't have the money. He betted a majority of his money on the strip poker night.

Stephen exclaims, "Places everyone! We're going to start now." When he finished his command, the camera crew scrambled into positions. China smiled into the camera.

"Action!"

China waves his sleeve at the camera. "Hello. My name is Yao Wang. I'm going to show everyone how I save money." China reaches the sleeping bag on his bed and places it on the floor.

Stephen asks, "How does a sleeping bag help you save money, exactly? You have a bed over there." The man points to the unused bed.

"Simple, aru. I charge thirty dollars rent to my tenants. At my home, I charge six hundred dollars." China smiles. His plan is genius. Yes, you have to feed the tenants, but that's it. They only get a nice place to stay and food.

Stephen facepalms. "Mr. Wang….you do know that's illegal, right?"

"It makes money, aru."

A knock at the door interrupts any future discussion. China opens the door to reveal a shady looking man. He is dressed in a long grey coat, his hat obscuring his face. "Are you Yao Wang?"

"Yes, that's me."

The shady man stares at the camera filming them. He tips his hat further to cover his face. The man sets his briefcase next to his sleeping bag. "My name is not recorded with the hotel, correct?"

China nods. "Yes, just like you asked, Steve." Steve is a very strange man. He didn't want anyone knowing he's here. Maybe he's embarrassed? As long as he doesn't commit any crimes and get him into trouble, China's okay with him.

Steve reaches into his coat pocket, looking for something. "So no one knows I'm rooming here, at all?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Steve lurks over to a woman behind the camera man. "Wanna buy some opium?" China blanches. Out of all of the possible tenants, he just had to rent a sleeping bag to an opium dealer. Opium brings back terrible memories…..

Stephen gasps. "Don't you have any shame? There's a camera rolling in this room!"

Steve turns to Stephen. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you." Steve holds out his 'mysterious' package. "I'll sell you opium at half price."

China quickly hurls Steve out of the room. He yells, "No refunds, aru!"

China turns around and faces the camera watching his every move, the camera crew, and a fuming Stephen. The Chinese man rubs the back of his head, nervous.

"How about I show you how I get free Wi-Fi, aru?"

* * *

China and the _Extreme Cheapskates_ Crew lurk outside a room in an apartment complex. China is typing on his small laptop, which is on a small table, against the door. Stephen looks at China, in bewilderment. "Why are we here?"

China grins. "I already told you, aru. For free Wi-Fi."

Stephen looks around, anxious no one will see them. He doesn't want to get arrested for trespassing. "What about your motel room? Surely it's free there."

China's eyes darken. "There's no Wi-Fi there. I checked. Besides-" China points to his laptop. "It's free here." China broke into an apartment complex a few blocks from the motel. Some idiot left the key in a flowerpot.

Stephen scratches his chin. "Shouldn't we go to a Starbucks instead? There's free Wi-Fi there."

"It's not free, aru! They expect you to buy something before you use it." It's true. If he tries to walk in there and use his laptop without buying something, he gets dirty looks from the employees. The employees would also point to a 'No free Wi-Fi unless you buy something' sign.

_Smart _people know about Starbuck's intentions and look to other places for (real) free Wi-Fi.

People are so stingy nowadays. And obnoxious too. A lot of owners lock and name their Wi-Fi networks, 'Get your own fucken Wi-Fi' or 'Sucks to be you.' Luckily, there was one unlocked Wi-Fi network named 'Killer.' Strange name, but hey, it's free.

Stephen stares at China. "So you creepily stand outside a person's apartment like an eavesdropper."

China glares at him. "I'm not eavesdropping, aru." Stephen sure is rude, making accusations like that.

A man murmurs from inside the apartment. "You have the chainsaw?"

Everyone in the hallway freezes.

"Yup. We're supposed to kill a man named Stephen David. He's in charge of a show or something. Angry ex-fan wants to kill him. Said something about Stephen rejecting him to appear on the show."

Stephen gulps and reaches for his neck. He whispers, "There's a hit man after me? With a chainsaw….." That explains the 'killer' name. What kind of hit man names their Wi-Fi killer?

China shakily shuts off his laptop and gently places it into his satchel. China slowly backs away from the door. "Let's leave, aru." China has the worst of luck today. First, the opium dealer, and now a hit man is after Stephen. Who China accidently lead to this dangerous situation.

Maybe he should have worn more red today.

The camera man backs up, but the camera on his shoulder makes a 'clank' sound.

The men inside the room quiet down.

"Ya hear someone outside?"

"Kill 'em. We can't have any witnesses."

The occupants in the hallway pales. Then, all hell breaks loose. It was every man (and one woman) for themselves. The camera crew sprints to the stairs. Surprisingly, even with the heavy equipment, they're pretty fast runners.

China and Stephen run through the other hallway, heading towards a different stairway. Stephen harshly whispers, "That is it! You're off the show!" Since they we're only on the third floor, they only needed to go down a few flight of stairs.

China's eyes widen. "Aiyah! Why? We only filmed for one day!" The two men burst through the Apartment complex's doors. They take a left and continue running.

Stephen pulls China into a Starbucks that they almost passed by. Stephen screams to China's face, "WHY?! You're too dangerous to be around. I'm going to die if I stick around with you! I was offered opium by a dealer, and you lead me to two hit men out to kill me!" The Starbucks customers stare in shock.

China glares. "It's not my fault you have crazy fans, aru." He didn't know that Steve is an opium dealer. He also didn't know they were standing outside a hit man's apartment either.

Stephen smacks the wall with his fist. "Screw Alfred. I don't want you on my show and that's final! Your ideas are too dangerous for the public to see."

China huffs. "Fine. You Americans never pay me anyway." Isn't that the truth. America never pays China. He always says something like 'Sorry, I don't have money.'

Frugal Scheme: **Failure**.

* * *

**Poor China. :( He had rotten luck.**

**In China, the color red is luck.**

**Chinese-Americans are often said to allow tenants in their home at a cost. A tenant is a person who pays to have room at someone's home. The owner would usually lay out a mattress in the basement and say it's the tenant's bed.**

**The Chinese-American's would also feed them. The tenant thing is not limited to this nationality, but literature and other people often focus on Chinese-Americans offering housing to tenants.**

_**Extreme Cheapskates**_** is an American reality TV show that airs on TLC. They are still making season two. Stephen David is the executive producer of the show.**

**I tested out the Wi-Fi thing that China did beforehand. It's accurate. ;) **

**Can anyone spot the figure I made to reference a fan made Hetalia RPG? I changed the form, but it's still the same person/thing. xD**

**Thank you ****Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin**** for the Wi-Fi and Cheapskate idea for China. I had fun screwing around with it. :D**


	9. Pick-up Lines

**I thought I was going to blaze through my list on my profile in one month. Well, it looks like it's going to take a while before that happens. XD The list is super long now.**

**Since no one answered the question in the last story, I'll answer it. It was Steve from the fan-made game HetaOni. The name Steve was given to him by fans. If Steve was ever a human, he'll be a creepy opium dealer. :D**

**I absolutely love the request of Team Germany and Romano. That's going to be very fun to write~ *evil laugh***

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**The golden rule: **_**If possible, don't spend money to make money.**_

* * *

Earlier in the day, France witnessed an unkempt man getting rejected by a beautiful woman. It was a pathetic display of courting. The man gave terrible pick-up lines, and in the end, he ended up getting slapped by the woman.

Contrary to popular belief, the French rarely use pick-up lines. It's all about flirting, being casual and romantic, and having a carefree attitude. But it doesn't mean that his citizens have to be horrible at it.

Men these days have no clue on how to properly court a woman. It's as if they took courting lessons from England's people!

That's when an incredible idea hit France: run a telephone help line to give advice to hopeless men in scoring their dream girl. (He's especially teaching them excellent pick-up lines.) France is the country of love, he's qualified for this job.

France certainly needs the money. He desperately wants to buy higher quality wine. The wine he has money for tastes like crap. The Frenchman wants the good stuff.

France sits on his conch comfortably, staring at his home phone in anticipation. France sighs, "Mon dieu, when am I going to get a customer? I didn't think it would take so long." Honestly, France thought he would have customers pouring in. Sadly, he is wrong.

_Maybe I should have advertised more on Facebook? _His phone starts ringing. France picks up the phone in excitement and answers it. It's his first customer; he hopes he does a good job.

"Bonjour! Welcome to Pick-U-Up Lines. Are you ready to woo your future lover to bed?"

"_What the bloody hell are you saying, frog? Is this a sick French joke!?" _

A devilish smile worms its way onto France's face. He's going to have a _lot _of fun with the black sheep. "Ah, Angleterre, I knew it was a matter of time before you called me for advice on love~"

"_I did not! I called to tell you the date for next G8 summit meeting, you git. Your so-called 'help line' is the same number as your house phone!"_

France wishes he could see the look on England's face. England's angry face is amusing to look at. In France's opinion, the angry face makes England's ugly eyebrows look like a wild caterpillar on the loose.

France wants to steer the conversation to something more….interesting. "It's a shame the English are horrible lovers. Everyone knows the French are the best lovers. Look at the caterpillar on your face. I recommend you shave it off; it might attract some ladies, if you're lucky," laughs France.

"_Englishmen are better lovers! We gentlemen are able to keep our girlfriends longer than unfaithful Frenchman," hollered England into the phone._

France narrows his eyes. How dare that scone lover say such a thing! If England was in the room, he would punch him. "I know better pick-up lines than you," challenges France.

"_Is that a challenge?" _

France smiles gleefully. England sounds so furious, yet there's a small hint of interest in his voice. "Oui. The winner is crowned the best lover and gets bragging rights for a year."

"_I'll beat you at your own game, git."_

France voices his afterthought, "Also, whoever back downs pays the bill."

"_Why the bloody hell should I pay your phone bill?"_

"Non, not the phone bill. The bill for my services. You are using time on my company phone," corrected France.

"_It's your house phone, not a company phone!"_

France decides to interrupt England before he goes on a rant. He didn't want him to lose track of the competition, after all.

"I'll start: Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?"

"_I can top that! If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas."_

France breaks into hysterics. "Are you in a festive mood, Angleterre? Maybe Pere Noel will give you good pick-up lines for Christmas," mocks France. He knew England is terrible at flirting, but not this bad. The former pirate resorted to cheesy pick-up lines!

"_I'd love to see you do better."_

"Gladly. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? Ohonhon~" France wraps one arm around himself.

"_You perverted frog! It's typical of you to say revolting things."_

"Are you already backing down? I'll gladly send you the bill right now." France will definitely send England an extra expensive bill. It'll be fun to drain heaps of England's money.

"_I'm not surrendering to you of all people! I've got skittles in my mouth, want to taste the rainbow?"_

"Oh my Angleterre. I never knew you wanted to share a French kiss with me~"

"_I will not kiss you, bloody frog. I-" "Hey England, are you and France finally releasing your guy's sexual tension," _interrupts America on England's side of the phone.

"_I am not-" _The phone hangs up. France grins. He won the pick-up line contest. Of course he would. He's French, after all.

France's phone rings again. He smiles. Hopefully, it's another customer and not England calling him again to complain that he 'didn't' lose. If so, he'll send the bill after this call.

"Bonjour! Welcome to Pick-U-Up Lines. Are you ready to woo your future lover to bed?"

"_You're going to help me 'woo' big brother, or else."_

France gulps, "Is that you, Belarus?"

"_Yes." _Belarus pauses for a moment._ "If you don't help me, let's just say I know where you live."_

France definitely gave Belarus love advice after that sentence. At least Belarus pays good, though.

* * *

Russia walks around his house when a chill crawls up his spine. His Belarus-is-nearby sense is ringing alarm bells in his head. Russia power walks to the safety of his room. Right when he opens his bedroom door, Belarus pounces on him from behind.

Russia falls to the floor, with Belarus still on his back. Belarus immediately flips Russia, so he's facing her. Belarus keeps one knee between her brother's legs, and her other leg on his left leg. The woman leans towards his face, with a creepy smile on her face.

Russia's body freezes. He can't escape from Belarus' grasp. The Russian prepares himself for the dreaded 'marry me' line. "W-What do you want, Belarus?"

Belarus puts her nose to Russia's nose. She whispers, "Want to help me repopulate our countries, big brother?"

Russia shoves Belarus off of him and runs through the wall, screaming for Belarus to leave him alone.

Frugal Money Scheme: **Success**.

* * *

**New Rule:**** Countries are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. ****I released this rule late because I wanted it to be a surprise, somewhat. **

**What France said is true: People in France don't really use pick-up lines. They flirt, yes, by being casual with a carefree attitude and being romantic. Just because the French don't use pick-up lines, it doesn't mean they're not open to it by foreigners. ;) **

**Pere Noel- Santa Clause **

"**Want to help me repopulate our countries, big brother?" This line is a play on the infamous "Wanna help me repopulate my clan?" pick-up line in the Naruto fandom. Specifically, the Sasuke/oc pairing. I hope no one gets too offended by that. XD**

* * *

**Esor: ****Naw, calling me love doesn't sound creepy to me. As long as you don't go Belarus on me, (with her 'marry me' stuff.)I'm fine with it. XD I'll do both of your requests. It sounds fun~**

**Guest:**** You figured out one of the reasons America needs to raise money. China is not taking no for an anwser after the Extreme Cheapskates chapter. :D The other one is in a previous chapter.**

**Sakura Ichigo Morihiko:**** I'll do something for Japan and Russia. The America one sounds interesting. Although I'm not going to make America smoke it... I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. It'll also bump the rating to M. XD (Which I'm trying to avoid for this fic.)**


	10. Dolphin Trainer

**I'm glad everyone enjoyed last chapter. If only I extended France and England's pick-up line contest. Then again, if I did, the chapter would be filled with nothing but cheesy pick-up lines. XD**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The Golden Rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Ukraine is at a naval base in her country, watching two dolphins jumping into rings, squeaking happily. The dolphins are in a wide pool, with the gate locked to the Black Sea.

Ukraine is happy she was able to convince her boss into letting her borrow the dolphins. She plans on having the dolphins do a few tricks in front of children. The money will go to paying her debt to Russia. Ukraine got some inspiration from Russia's circus. Only, she'll use real animals instead of…..mutant ones.

Just maybe, if she actually pays Russia this time, he'll come to her house less often to collect money.

Ukraine smiles. She won't have to run away crying if Russia pays her visit.

The dolphins stop their routine to chatter. One of the dolphins rubs his nose against the other dolphin's side. The latter harshly splashes him and swims away. The dolphin squeaks in depression. He slowly swims to the side of the glass tank.

Ukraine hugs the dolphin. "What's wrong?" Ukraine pities the poor dolphin. He's very lonely with no friends. Ukraine's fingers linger over the yellow tag on his fin.

The dolphin makes clinking sounds, glumly. His body hardly moves as Ukraine rubs his back. Ukraine tears up. "If only I can understand you. Then I could make you feel better."

Ukraine feels a tap on her shoulder. She turns around to see her boss. Ukraine's boss taps his foot impatiently. "Get started with a test run."

Ukraine looks at the dolphin worriedly. She doesn't think he's ready to perform in his state at the moment. "But-"

Ukraine's boss looks at her sternly. "Now means now." Ukraine sighs. The Ukrainian woman blows her whistle. "Show time!"

The dolphins quickly form a line in front of the ring. The depressed dolphin sluggishly swims behind the other dolphin. The dolphins jump into the hoops, the yellow-tagged dolphin barely making it each time, his tail narrowly avoiding hitting the hoops.

When the dolphins stop their routine, her boss yawns. "Is that all?" Ukraine says, "No, one of them knows one more trick."

Ukraine claps her hands. "Dance for me please." The yellow-tagged dolphin perks up when Ukraine turns on the music. He rushes over to the edge of the pool.

Ukraine tells her boss, "Please stick your hand out." Her boss nods. He sticks his hand out. The dolphin excitedly rubs his body back and forth on Ukraine's boss' hand in harmony with the music.

Ukraine's boss blushes badly and yanks his hand back. He looks at Ukraine in disbelief. "What are you teaching these dolphins, how to hump humans? Are you trying to turn them into perverts?" Her boss had to assume she taught both dolphins the same trick.

Ukraine hastily replies, No-"

"And you were doing a show for children. What are you going to do for an encore? Have a child lay down on his stomach and have the dolphin hump their back?" Ukraine never imagined the dolphin's friendly gesture would be misinterpreted for anything sexual.

The Ukrainian woman stares at him in shock. "I would never do that."

"Sure you won't," her boss says sacraticlly.

Ukraine spots a fin sticking out of the water. Ukraine thought it was strange. She sees the dolphins patiently waiting for their next orders on the other side of the pool. She wonders who the mysterious fin belongs to. The dolphins start squeaking crazily at the fin.

Suddenly, a shark's head pops out the water, charging at the dolphins. Ukraine screams, "How did a shark get in there?" Her boss curses and uses his walkie-talkie to order more guards.

The yellow-tagged dolphin swims in front of the other dolphin protectively. He charges head on at the shark. Only to be knocked out of the pool and into the Black Sea by the Shark.

Ukraine screams, "Stop it! Leave them alone."

The shark smacks the other dolphin out of the water with its tail fin. The shark jumps out of the water to reveal its…..walrus body?

Ukraine gasps in shock. _So this is where the shark-walrus mutant disappeared to._ That's one mystery solved.

Ukraine's boss yells, "Don't just stand there Ukraine! Look for those dolphins. Even though you turned them into perverts, the navy still needs them. I order you to go look for them."

And thus starts Ukraine's search for the missing dolphins.

* * *

The search party looked to the deep waters of the Black Sea, while Ukraine franticly searched the sandy shores, hoping to see him nearby.

Ukraine stops running to catch her breath. "Oh, it's nearly impossible to find them. The Black Sea is huge."

When almost all hope is lost, she hears a "Ohonhonhon, is _that _what he's saying? What a naughty dolphin~" Ukraine's eyes widen in shock.

_What is France doing near her country? Wait…he mentioned a dolphin. _Ukraine takes off to the direction of France's voice. She hopes that the Frenchman is talking about the dolphins she's looking for.

Ukraine makes a turn around a giant rock to see a strange scene. Two dolphins are pleasantly chatting at a table set in the water. France is dressed in a butler suit and holding a menu. Atlantis is standing there awkwardly glancing between the dolphins and France.

Ukraine notices a familiar yellow tag on one of the dolphin's fin. It's the dolphin she is looking for!

Ukraine waves at the countries. "France! Atlantis! Thank goodness you found my dolphins. I thought I would never see them again."

France brightens at Ukraine. "Bonjour Ukraine. It's a pleasure meeting you here." Ukraine stands in the water, the small waves reaching halfway to her ankles. Ukraine hesitantly asks, "What are you doing with the dolphins, France?"

France gives a wide smile and hugs himself. "Ah, I'm helping Humper here win over the love of his life." Did she hear what she thought she heard? France named the yellow-tagged dolphin Humper. It sounds like France knows about….Humper's special routine.

"Are they…..on a date?"

France happily nods. "Oui, Humper was rejected by this beautiful dolphin here-" He gestures to the dolphin with a pick bow wrapped around her fin. "Earlier today and needed help with winning her over." That explains why Humper was depressed earlier. He was rejected by his love interest, how sad.

Ukraine looks at Atlantis. She's been silent the entire time. The Ukrainian woman wonders why Atlantis is even here in the first place. "Atlantis, why are you here with France?" Atlantis looks away, embarrassed.

France chuckles. He wraps an arm around her shoulder. The Atlantean blushes and tries to shrug off his shoulder, but France's grip refuses to budge. France says, "Atlantis here is translating for me. She speaks dolphin." Atlantis gives a nod, confirming France's comment.

Atlantis finally speaks up. "The dolphin-" "His name is Humper, ami." Atlantis narrows her eyes at him. "I'm not calling him that derogatory name."

Atlantis coughs into her hand. "As I was saying, the dolphin offered to pay France with the sunken treasure he found somewhere in the Black Sea."

Ukraine gasps in surprise. "You're charging money for your services?"

France smiles. "Oui, my services are not free. Ask Atlantis here. I'm giving her a discount for translating for me." Atlantis protests, "France!"

Ukraine couldn't believe it. Atlantis, of all the countries, is paying France for help in romance. The dark blue-haired woman acts so serious most of the time. It's hard to imagine her doing something like this.

"I'll take the dolphins back now-"

"Non, they need to finish their date first. It's mating season, if you know what I mean~"

Ukraine blushes. She didn't need to know this information. She feels she's intruding on someone's privacy now. Ukraine walks away, dejected. _I have to beak the news to my boss._

* * *

Ukraine is sitting in her boss' office, facing his glare. She finished telling him what happened, and she's waiting for his reaction. Her boss says, "Iran stole our dolphins."

Ukraine looks at him, confused. "No, I said France-"

"No, _Iran_ stole our dolphins. No one will believe us if we said France's business expanded to cater to dolphins."

Ukraine gives up. "Okay. Goodbye boss." Ukraine leaves the office, upset. Her feet leads her back to the naval base where the shark-walrus incident occurred. She sighs. She really missed the dolphins, especially Humper. The name Humper grew on her. (Even though the name sounds dirty.)

Ukraine hears squeaking in the distance. She sees Humper and his lover speeding towards her. Ukraine waddles into the water, beaming with joy. She hugs Humper, her breasts squeezing him. Ukraine pauses when she sees a package wrapped around his fin.

The country takes and unwraps the package. Inside, it holds a letter.

_Dear Ukraine,_

_I apologize for helping France with the dolphin. I felt guilty about withholding the dolphins from your country, so I told the dolphins to return to you after mating season is over. I smuggled a few gold bars from the treasure chest the dolphin found. I hope you didn't get into too much trouble with your boss._

_Sincerely, Atlantis_

_P.S Please don't tell anyone about the discount. Especially Prussia. _

True to Atlantis' word, inside the box are three gold bars. Ukraine feels very happy. She has some money to pay her debt to Russia. She may have failed with her idea, but at least she received money from the mess.

Humper rubs his body against Ukraine's breasts. Ukraine giggles, "We need to get rid of your habit."

"STOP HUMPING MY COUNTRY, YOU PERVERTED DOLPHIN!"

Frugal money scheme: **Failure**.

Guilt a country into donating money: **Success**.

* * *

**France crashed Ukraine's scheme. xD I bet you guys didn't see that coming.**

**There was an incident in Ukraine where three (not two, like in this chapter) navy trained dolphins escaped into the Black Sea in search of love. It is later claimed the dolphins appeared in Iran. Later news reports say that the memo was fake.**

**I hope no one is angry that my OC Atlantis makes a small appearance here. France needed someone to translate for him. It's not like he can speak dolphin. :) it looks like France's business has become very successful. XD**

**School-Read-Sleep-Routine****: I don't want to make the chapters too predictable. :) (ex. France and Sweden.) I like making it unpredictable, like this chapter. xD Besides, I've already used the intimidation thing with Sweden, so I don't want to make another repeat of that. That would be boring. That doesn't mean intimidation is not going to be a small factor in some countries schemes. ;) **

**Don't worry, Belarus is going to have to replenish her money soon. :D**

**Hammsters: I'm so going to use that pick-up line from now on. XD I love using pick-up lines in humorous situations. France's chapter was perfect for me to write. **


	11. Baseballs

**The love I get for this story is awesome like Prussia. TT_TT I never thought it would get this popular. It was originally supposed to be a oneshot. (The Switzerland chapter.) But I thought to post a few chapters to see how people like it. I decided to continue it since so many people love it.**

**I'm sorry for the late chapter. I had to study for my statistics and history tests. It took a lot of my time. I did this during my free time.**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The Golden Rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

The crowd cheers in anticipation for the game to start. South Korea is very excited. He and his team are going to play against Cuba's team. South Korea throws his baseball to his other teammates, yelling, "We're going to win, da-ze!"

South Korea and Cuba had teamed up for a charity match to raise money for their respective countries. It was unusual for them to team up. They don't really talk to each other. But, South Korea noticed Cuba was looking for a way to earn money, he suggested they do a friendly baseball match.

The Korean waves to Prussia, who is sitting in the commenter's box. He speaks into the blue tooth, "Hey Prussia, can you hear me?" _"Loud and clear. Kesesese."_

Cuba taps his shoulder. South Korea grins. "You already want to start the game, Cuba?"

The Cuban says, "No." Cuba holds out a baseball, which brand is Brett Bros. We're in agreement that we're using my baseballs for both teams, right?"

"No way! Those baseballs are for children." "Fine! Here, I have another ball we can use." Cuba pulls out a demonic red baseball from his pocket. Souls scream as it zips in and out of it. The baseball has an ugly face; it even looks like its moving!

South Korea screams, "Did you get that baseball from England? It's scary looking." South Korea can't believe Cuba would dare bring a strange baseball in the match. It looks cursed.

Cuba gets angry. "You picky bastard. They're good baseballs unlike yours."

South Korea protests, "The best balls are made in me, da-ze!"

Cuba smirks. "Lies. Everyone knows Cubans have better balls than Asians." South Korea thinks, _"How dare he bring China into this!"_

"We Asians have better balls."

"That's not what the ladies say~"

"_Kesesese, he's not talking about baseballs anymore."_

South Korea blushes. Cuba is very low for talking about that kind of balls in public.

South Korea denies it. "It's not true!"

Cuba shakes his head. "Everyone knows Asians have smaller balls than everyone else."

South Korea won't take this verbal abuse any longer. He's going to pay for this. "Small balls are made in Cuba, da-ze."A tick tension between the two teams fills the atmosphere.

"_Testosterone levels are on the rise!" _

Cuba and South Korea ignore Prussia's remark for they're too busy with their glaring match.

"That's it! I don't want to play with you, small balls."

"I agree smaller balls, da-ze!" South Korea and Cuba leave the field in a huff.

The crowd remains in an awkward silence. Prussia had made the entire conversation between the two nations on speaker so everyone could hear it.

"_Everyone in the stadium knows Prussians have better balls than everyone else. Kesesese!"_

* * *

China washes the dishes but drops them when South Korea barges into the kitchen. The dishes break when it hits the floor. "Aiyah! You better have a good reason for making me break plates."

South Korea pulls down his pants in full view of China. "Asians have bigger balls than Cubans, right?"

"Aiyah! How should I know! Put your pants back on."

South Korea got the scolding of a life time from China for that stunt.

Frugal money scheme: **Falilure**.

* * *

**In a World Baseball Classic match, A South Korean and Cuban baseball team had an argument before the game over which baseball brand to use during the game. They ended up cancelling the game because they couldn't agree.**

**The U.S brand Brett Bros. is usually used by children, not profession baseball teams. **

**I added Prussia 'cuz I wanted a commenter. ;)**

**School-Read-Sleep-Routine: ****Let's just say Atlantis doesn't want Prussia to make fun of her. He already calls her Sea cow. **

**Possible Scenario:**

**Prussia: Kesesese~ Is it mating season already Sea cow?**

**Atlantis: ...**


	12. All hail Emperor Romano!

**It's time for the long awaited chapter: Italy and Romano (2****nd**** scheme.) I had so much demand for them. In fact, it's the most demanded chapter for this fic. So many people wanted them to have revenge. I hope you guys enjoy it. I made it extra special. ;D**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The Golden Rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Italy clings to Romano, crying, "You promised you wouldn't Romano!" The southern Italian curses at him. Romano's face darkens. "I can't take the abuse anymore! They're getting involved."

Italy screams even harder, "Not the mafia!"

After the Trevi Fountain and 'incest' news report drama, Romano wants to get the mafia involved this time in his newest scheme: mugging people of their money, especially France. France deserves severe punishment for corrupting his brother's mind. No one is allowed to teach his brother to call his private part the Tower of Pisa and get away with it.

"_The Frenchman has plenty of money from his damn Pick-U-Up help line, so why the hell not?"_ thinks Romano.

Romano shakes Italy's shoulders. "It'll be simple: the mafia will mug people and we'll get easy money." Also, the nice perk is he doesn't have to do the dirty work, either.

"No! It's wrong. Why don't we do something nicer?"

Romano fumes, "Like what? Put on a performance?"

Italy brightens. "Ve~ That'll be fun. We can hold a show in the Coliseum and sell tickets so everyone can come."

A dark grin crosses Romano's face. "Everyone?"

Italy happily nods. "Si. We can serve pasta and-"

Romano tunes out Italy's pasta rant. Romano has a brilliant idea. He could punish France _and_ enjoy a flow of cash at the same time. It's perfect in his mind. If he has to do a show to raise money, he might as well do it in style.

He also loves the idea of punishing the media and that damn hobo, but it comes with some downsides. He can't obviously go after the media because that'll ruin his reputation even more. Plus, he doesn't want to waste his time running around Italy looking for the hobo.

Mark Romano's words, if he ever sees that hobo again, he's going to make his life a living hell.

"Fine. We'll put on a stupid performance." Italy cheers. "But, my mafia friends are going to pay someone a visit."

Italy whimpers. "…They're not going to mug him, are they?"

Romano chuckles darkly, "No. They're bringing a VIP guest."

* * *

In the Coliseum, the crowd roars in anticipation for the night's events. Romano, wearing a roman robe and a wreath in his hair, sits in his throne proudly as he looks to the field. Italy sits next to Romano, nervously waiting for the victim to wake up.

Italy looks to Romano. "Ve, Romano, I don't think we should do this to France."

Romano plucks a grape to his mouth and savors its taste. "The bastard deserves it."

They turn their attention to the ground where France is awakening.

France groans as he wakes up. He tries to recall what happened to him before he blacked out. All he can remember is flirting with a beautiful woman before being attacked by a group of men.

France looks around, confused. He's in an empty arena surrounded by a blood thirsty crowd. He nervously looks up to see Romano and Italy in a special booth dressed in robes from Roman times.

"Mon amis, why am I here?"

Romano grins and stands proudly from his seat. "Do not speak informally with me, bastard peasant." He lifts his waves to the spectators. "I am Emperor Romano!" France wonders why Romano is referring to himself as Emperor. For some reason, he doesn't want to get into the Italian's twist and sick mind right now.

The crowd screams in excitement, "All hail Emperor Romano! All hail Emperor Romano! All hail Emperor Romano!" France winces. Judging by the stands, it appears he's in the Coliseum. He hopes he's not going to be pitted against gladiators. He's too handsome to be mauled!

Frances says, "B-But-"

"Do not back talk, bastard peasant. Put on a damn good show. These people paid for your suffering." This can't be legal. France is sure gladiator battles were banned years ago. He questions the mentality of the crowd.

France gasps, "This is cruel and unusual!"

Romano sits back in his seat. "This is not America. Get your geography straight, stupido." The southern Italian harshly nudges Italy. "Say your line."

France gives Italy the puppy dog eyes. "You'll release your big brother, right Italy?" He sees Italy hesitate. France smiles. "_Hopefully he'll release me."_

Romano glares at his brother. "Say your line or else the mafia will get involved."

Italy screams, "Release it from the gate!" France should've known not to place his hope on the scardy-cat northern Italian.

France pales as he fearfully focuses on the opening iron gate. The Frenchman is afraid of what's behind the gate. Italy's wording suggests he's going to fight a vicious animal. Possibly, a lion.

France shrieks when the gate is completely open to reveal….a turtle?

Frances stares blankly at the turtle moving slowly towards him. He looks at the Italians questioningly.

Romano curses, "I wanted a damn lion, but no, Italy and my government refused to get me one."

Italy stutters, "But Romano, using Spain's turtles instead of scary animals was the only way to get our government to agree on this event."

"Fuck them! I want vicious animals to rip France's face to shreds." France shudders. He questions why Romano is so intent of hurting him. It's not like he touched anywhere recently.

France feels something nudge against his foot. He awes as he picks up the turtle. "You're so cute, mon petite turtle."

France pauses when he sees an army of turtles surrounding him. He shrieks, "Mon dieu! There's so many of them."

Romano crosses his legs and chuckles darkly. "Run damn pervert, there's no place where you can hide." France runs around the arena screaming while being chased by a swarm of turtles. He cries for the madness to stop, but it only excites the crowd more.

"All hail Emperor Romano! All hail Emperor Romano!"

"That's right, worship your sexy Emperor," shouts Romano.

France trips, only to be in the bottom of the dog pile of turtles of seconds. When France gets out of this, he's going to have a word with Spain about lending his turtles to Romano.

Romano exclaims, "Steal his cash!"

France screams, "No! Leave my money out of this." There's no way he's allowing Romano to steal his money. He worked with too many hopeless men to get it.

France screams as the turtles rip his clothes to grab his money. "Okay, take my money! Just don't rip my clothes.

France's cries fuels the crowd's energy. "All hail Emperor Romano! All hail Emperor Romano! All hail Emperor Romano!"

Romano laughs darkly. Its fun being Emperor. He should do this more often. He knows he'll make a great ruler.

Romano walks out to leave, only to be stopped by Italy grabbing his arm. Romano glares at him. "Let go of your Emperor."

"Where are you going?"

Romano smirks. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to France's house and stealing the rest of his money while he's distracted." It's the perfect opportunity to do it. He knows France does not carry all of his money in his pocket. France owes Romano for tainting Italy.

"That's wrong."

Romano jabs to Italy's seat. "I don't care. Stay here while I'm gone. We still need someone to oversee this show."

Italy sighs. "Okay."

Romano nods as walks out. He smirks when he hears the crowd still cheering, "All hail Emperor Romano! All hail Emperor Romano! All hail Emperor Romano!"

Romano says out loud to himself, "Emperor Romano does have a nice ring to it."

* * *

Spain walks out of his tomato field to see a limping France with turtles biting various parts of his body. His shirt has tears in a few places. Snapping out of his shock, he runs to France.

France falls to the ground in a flash. Before he goes to help France, Spain pauses to look at the writing scrawled on the back of his shirt in sharpie.

_Karma's a bitch. It's the only woman you can't fuck with and expect a good life afterwards._

_With hate,_

_Emperor Romano_

_P.S If you **ever **teach anything nasty to my fratello again, I'll set all the dangerous animals in the fucking animal kingdom on you, no matter what anyone says._

Spain looks at the letter, puzzled. He's not sure when Romano became Emperor of anything. One thing is certain. He glances at the injured France. He has to make sure France keeps his distance from Italy, or else Romano will go through with his promise.

Frugal Money Scheme: **Success. **Because Emperor Romano says so. All hail Emperor Romano!

* * *

**How does everyone like Emperor Romano? I love it~**

**Does anyone know which anime I hinted at? The first correct answer before I release the next chapter has the right to pick which Hetalian can do their scheme very soon. :D**


	13. The Hardships of Being a Cop

**So I did my Statistics test the other day. (I didn't have to worry about the history test too much. It was easy.) I hope I did okay. **

**I can now type up more chapters faster since I have no tests for now. :D **

**The reference from the last chapter was from the anime Code Geass. The reference "All hail Romano!" hinted at the popular slogan "All hail Lelouch." Some Code Geass fans have a habit of posting this slogan on Code Geass AMVs and on certain Code Geass episodes on YouTube. **

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The Golden Rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

It's break time at the world meeting and America is taking full advantage of it. America is really giddy about the piece of gossip he has. He wants to share it with all the other countries. "_They'll get a good laugh out of it."_

America walks up to Italy and cups his hand on the Italian's ear. He whispers, "England and France were totally releasing their sexual tension over the phone the other day. I caught them in the act."

Italy's eyes open in shock. "Really?"

America grins. "Yup. They were really into it." America wanted to continue, but someone smacks his head with a heavy object. He tumbles to the floor and groans.

"You jerk! Because of your suggestion, I got into a lot of trouble, aru."

America looks up from the ground to see China standing there angrily with his wok in his hands. China slams his foot on America's back. America coughs. He wonders why China is being physical with him. He's never seen China so violent before. "You mean the Extreme Cheapskates thing?"

China puts more pressure on America's back. "Yes, aru! I went through hell for nothing. I didn't even get paid." China sure sounds pissed. The show probably went downhill.

America rolls to the side. China loses balance and falls to the floor. America stands up and dusts himself. China gets up from the ground to jab a finger to the American's chest. "I want my money now, aru. I'm not taking any more of your IOUs. I should have done this a long time ago."

Correction, something very bad happened to China to get him this worked up to get his money sooner. It's not like America has the money to pay China back at the moment. His country is in a recession.

America feels someone grabbing his collar harshly. He looks with surprise to see England, fuming.

"You bloody git! Everyone thinks I had phone sex with France because of you. On top of that, you made me lose my contest with France. Now I have to pay his bloody bill." Italy must've spread the word quickly. It's only been a few minutes and everyone already knows about it.

America blinks. "What contest?"

England shakes America in anger. "The pickup line contest I was having with France on the phone, which you interrupted thinking we were releasing our sexual tension." America didn't know it was a contest. Anyone in his situation would obviously think they were releasing their pent up sexual tension. He thought it was about time they did it.

"So you weren't having phone sex?"

"Of course not!" England shoves a piece of paper into his hands. "Here's the bill. You're going to pay for it." There's no way he's paying for this. It's England's responsibility to pay the bill. America is not the one who lost the contest.

America backs away from England. "No way! I'm not-" He stops when he feels China's wok on his head.

China threateningly says, "If you don't pay us in a week, you'll face the furry of my wok, aru."

England smirks. "And you'll eat nothing but my tasty scones instead of those vile hamburgers for the rest of your life."

America freezes. _"Crap. England and China are teaming up against me" _There's no way in hell he's eating scones for the rest of eternity. He'll have to get his stomach pumped everyday for as long as he lives.

"O-Okay, you guys win. I'll get a job."

* * *

Today's the day he's going to get his paycheck. He's on a deserted highway at night for his break. America checks himself out in the rearview mirror of his police car. If he has to do a job, it might as well be something where he can do heroic stuff. He can protect his citizens from all the bad guys and save the day.

"_I look good in uniform."_

A whoosh of air zooms past America as he adjusts his police uniform. America fills with excitement. Judging by the serving of the car, it's a drunk driver.

America jumps into his car and turns on the siren. He sets the police car at high speed and pursues the drunk driver. He turns on the speaker to say, "This is the police. Pull over."

Luckily, the driver obeys the first time and pulls over. America pulls his car behind the driver. He approaches the drunk driver's car and becomes shocked. He looks anywhere but the driver herself.

"Is there a problem officer?" The nude woman smiles sloppily at him.

"W-Where's your clothes?" America is very embarrassed. He feels uncomfortable with the woman not wearing any clothing.

America backs away from the car as the woman gets out. The nude woman wraps her arms around his waist. "You can arrest me anytime officer~"

America is disturbed by the woman's actions. He consoles himself that the woman would not throw herself at him if she was sober. (Hopefully.)

He unwraps the woman's arms and handcuffs her hands behind her back. The woman giggles, "I didn't know you were into _that_. I like it."

America blushes horribly. "You're sick, dude."

"Can we do it in your cop car? I've always wanted to have a sex tape of doing it in there. Your car does have cameras inside, right?"

America's eyes widen. "Oh shit." He just remembered there are cameras inside and outside his police car. He's going to have to delete the video before the other countries find out. He doesn't want to end up like Romano. People still mock his 'Tower of Pisa' ever since it first aired on YouTube.

A car screeches past them as America shoves the intoxicated woman into the back of his car. America slams the door shut and dives into the driver's seat. He starts the car and tries to catch up with the speeder. The American makes harsh turns as he pursues the speeder.

"Oh my officer, you're so good~"

"Please don't make my car dirty. Why don't you eat the cheeseburger I left back there instead?" America can't wait to dump this disgusting woman at the police station. He doesn't know how long his sanity will last with her around.

A mega phone harshly says, "Kesesese. You'll never catch the awesome me, coppers." The car almost hits a pole as the speaker uses the mega phone. Just what he needs: Prussia driving like a maniac on the road and endangering his citizens.

America puts on his speaker. "Prussia, pull over. You're going to hurt someone."

The woman moans loudly, "Oh officer~" America hopes the Prussian didn't hear that.

"Getting some action back there, America? What a naughty officer, doing a woman in his car. Is she giving you oral or what?" Prussia drives off the road and into a field.

America drives after him. "No way, dude! She's drunk!"

"Taking advantage of a woman when she's drunk? That's low. I can get some action when they're sober, unlike you." Prussia's car slows to a stop.

America takes this opportunity. He jumps out the car and sprints to Prussia's car, taser in hand. "Put your hands up or I'll shoot."

Prussia gets out of his car with his hands up in the air. "You win this time America. I would've won if my car still had more fuel."

America leads Prussia back to his police car, ready to shove him into the back. He opens the door to hear "You brought a friend of yours for me, officer? How thoughtful of you. Unlike my last boyfriend." America cringes. He thinks this woman needs to clean up her act. By the sound of it, she acts the same even when she's sober.

Prussia takes a step into the backseat. "Don't mind if I do."

America yanks Prussia out of the car and slams the door shut. Prussia pouts at him. "I was trying to be a good samaritan and help her."

America sighs, "This is going to be a long trip back to the station."

* * *

America paid England and China from his paycheck. It'll get China off his back for a week or two.

The American is never going to be a cop ever again after that incident. He doesn't want to deal with anymore crazy drunk drivers and speeders.

Frugal Scheme: **Success**.

**Crazy stuff** **can happen to police officers while they're on the job. Encountering drunk nude people is one of them. XD Watch Cops or World's Dumbest: Drunk Drivers for some examples. **

**Snow Princess17:**** I'm so doing the Poland and Lithuania chapter. Your review gave me some inspiration for an interesting chapter for them. ;) It's very loosely based on one of your suggestions. Which one? That's a secret.**

**Guest: ****Thank you for the the idea in the first half of the chapter. I couldn't resist the idea of America spreading the word about England and him getting the bill in revenge. :D**


	14. Spa Day

**It's time for Hungary. :) **

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The Golden Rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

England looks around awkwardly. "I don't know about this Hungary." The two countries are surrounded by woman chattering about their reservations at the spa.

Hungary eagerly pushes England to the reservation desk. "It'll be a relaxing day. You deserve it." Hungary looks away, pretending to be hurt. "A gentleman never breaks a promise with a lady." She is stooping low with that remark, but she doesn't care about it much at the moment.

The Hungarian clutches her camera she's hiding in her bag. Recently, there's been a surge in demand for pictures of hot, shirtless, and sweaty men in spas. (Some yaoi pictures are good too.) It's a strange new demand, but it'll make her lots of cash. She wants to buy a better and more expensive brand than the frying pan she's using.

"_A stainless steel frying pan sounds nice to have."_

Hungary managed to smuggle some reservation spots from her boss. Hungary had to convince at least two men to come with her to the spa in two days.

It was extremely difficult. The short notice was an inconvenience to several of the male countries. They had no time to go to the spa at the last-minute as they had too much paperwork to do. Those who did had time refused to go to something as 'unmanly' as a spa.

Long story short, Hungary managed to convince England and…a certain country to come. Hopefully England won't be too angry about him.

England sighs, "Alright."

Hungary smiles. "Don't worry. This will be a very _memorable_ day."

* * *

England lays his back on a spa table, waiting for an attendant. Hungary is on a spa table across from him. Hungary tells the attendant, "I'm going to take and sell pictures of the Englishman, shirtless, across from me. Do you want to buy some?" Hungary wants to get more customers, so why not advertise here?"

The female attendant glances at England. She looks hesitant. "The one with the caterpillars on his head?" Curse England's eyebrows. It's going to be a major turn off to woman everywhere. If only she managed to persuade a different country who didn't have a problem with their eyebrows. She wouldn't have a hard time with potential customers.

Hungary nods. "Yes, but he's still handsome with eyebrows."

The spa attendant thinks it over. An evil grin crosses her face. "I can fix that." Hungary doesn't like the grin on the attendant's face. She has a feeling England is going to suffer pretty soon. "You're not going to-"

The attendant grabs the cart next to Hungary's spa table. "Hell yeah. Don't worry, I'll defiantly buy the pictures after I'm done with him." The woman causally strolls to England, whistling 'innocently.'

Hungary is thoughtful for a moment. _"The photos will sell better if she does the job." _She decides not to intervene with fate.

It was bound to happen to him one day.

England looks warily at the attendant. Yes, the flirty winks he gets bothers him a bit, but it's the evil smile that makes him nervous. "Excuse me ma'am, do you happen to know where the other attendant went?" A few minutes ago, this woman shooed the other attendant away.

The woman sets up a machine and grins. "She's on a break right now." England eyes the machine. "What are you doing? I said I wanted a foot massage."

The attendant slyly glides her hand under the spa table, where his head is. "I'm going to do something….different at no cost to you." He hears a click before his hands, feet, and neck is trapped by a metal cuff. He struggles to get loose.

"Why the bloody hell does a spa need metal cuffs for!"

She happily says, "To prevent escape from clients like you." In his opinion, this spa is bizarre and insane. England thrashes, trying to break the metal cuffs. Sadly, it's hard to break from it since it's attached to a metal table.

She takes out a stick with a yellow substance slightly dripping from it. She twirls it to stop it from dripping. "Now hold still. The wax will sting a little." She lowers the stick to his face.

England struggles to move his head away from her hand. "What are you doing with wax?"

"Waxing your eyebrows, of course~" England freezes. He never thought anyone would stoop so low as to shave his eyebrows.

Hungary winces as she watches England screaming for the manager to come. She didn't think England would react that badly to having his eyebrows waxed. Hungary takes a peak at her bag. She reminds herself she's doing this for the good of woman everywhere. Women need more pictures of sexy and shirtless men.

Hungary quietly leaves her spa table, with her bag in hand, and tip toes past the other customers. She bumps into a bowl and makes it tumble to the floor. She grimaces when she notices all the worms in it. _"Why is there a bowl of worms in the middle of a spa?" _

She hears chirping from her left. She looks to see Gilbird getting a pedicure on his feet. She stares in shock. "G-Gilbird?" Prussia better not be around here, or else he'll face the wrath of her frying pan.

A spa attendant leans down to clean up the mess. "Poor Gilbird. He was really hungry."

"Why is Gilbird getting a pedicure?"

The spa attendant laughs, "Gilbird is our best paying customer. He comes here all the time. Strangely, he knows how to use money." Hungary still has trouble believing Gilbird would waste his time getting a pedicure. He should be doing more…bird things.

Hungary looks around. "Is his perverted owner somewhere around here?"

"Nope. Gilbird comes alone."

England's screaming reminds Hungary about her escape. "Sorry, but I have to go somewhere not here. Goodbye." Hungary dashes out of the room, wary of facing England after his torture. He'll blame her for dragging him into this spa.

* * *

Hungary crouches behind a cart full of spa supplies. She takes a few pictures of England relaxing in a secluded mud bath. It gives her perfect cover from England and a good spot for her camera to snap pictures without being seen.

His relaxation is interrupted by a certain Frenchman's laugh. She was wondering the entire time when her other guest was going to show up.

With France there, Hungary hopes he'll try to invade England's personal space. It'll make great snapshots.

England growls, "What the bloody hell are you doing here frog?" France joins England in the mud bath. He wraps an arm around England's shoulders.

France laughs, "You finally shaved your eyebrows? You look worse without its thickness." Hungary believes England looks better with thinner eyebrows. She knows her customers will agree with her.

England pushes France away from him. "At least my eyebrows are better than your pick-up lines."

"Are you challenging moi to round two? I'll be on top again~" Hungary squeals out loud.

"_Italy is right! England and France did have phone sex." _Hungary didn't believe Italy at first. Those two can't be in the same room without a fight breaking out. Hungary grins. Enemies can make great yaoi pictures.

"Do you someone squealing, France."

Hungary gulps. _"They heard me."_

France narrows his eyes. "I think it came from over there."

Hungary wastes no time as she scrambles from her spot and runs to the door. She hears England curse, "Grab her. She has a camera."

Hungary runs down the hallway with France and England after her. She spots an open door and runs into it. Hungary trips over a towel left on the floor. She falls with an "Oof." She sees her camera slide out of her grasp.

Hungary stands and sees Gilbird pecking at the camera. "Gilbird, please hand over my camera." Hungary swears the bird has an evil glint in his eyes. Gilbird takes the camera strap into his mouth and flings it to a nearby sink filled with water.

Hungary cries with her hand outstretched. The camera fizzles when it makes impact with the water. Getting England harressed by attendants and France was all for nothing.

Hungary's shoulders are grabbed from behind.

"I'm charging you for this horrible experience," whispers England into her ear.

Hungary sighs. _"At least I confirmed the phone sex rumors. I'll go tell everyone it's true." _

Frugal Money Scheme: **Failure**. Trolled by Gilbird.

* * *

**Rule revision:** **Countries _(or their pets) _are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**Hungary is the country of public baths and thermal spas. Hungarians have been using these thermal baths for 2,000 years. (Some of the baths have been around since Roman times.) **

**If you want to have a vacation in Hungary, you should visit a spa resort, thermal spa, public bath, or anything to do with Hungary's thermal waters. It'll be a great experience. :D**

**Yup, Gilbird crashed Hungary's scheme with no mercy. XD**

**Edit: I just wanted to let everyone know that the Bad Touch Trio's scheme is um...a _special_ kissing booth. ;) I already have a list of characters I want to appear in the chapter, but I want to know who you guys want to see. I'll ask this question every chapter until the kissing booth chapter. **

**Thanks you Sakura Ichigo Morihiko for the kissing booth idea. :) **


	15. Prom Dress

**You're probably wondering how Gilbird got the money to pay for the pedicures. It will be strongly hinted in a future chapter where he gets the money. ;) Don't worry, you'll definitely catch it. The wording will make it very obvious. **

**I'm going to do a Gilbird chapter now. XD That'll be fun to do.**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The Golden Rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Lithuania sighs as he walks to the meeting room. Poland was really disappointed he doesn't have any money to buy supplies to make more designer dresses.

He passes by America and China arguing. He says a simple hello to them both. The arguing countries immediately stop. They start snickering and pointing at him.

Lithuania briskly heads to the nearby meeting room. He doesn't know what he did to make them laugh at him. He doesn't recall doing anything embarrassing. He must be mistaken: they're probably laughing at Romano. He was standing across from them.

He opens the meeting room door, only to assaulted by confetti. Lithuania coughs as his vision clears to see….Poland on his pony in the middle of the room holding a sign that says "Prom?"

Poland steers the pony to Lithuania and stops. Poland causally says, "Prom?"

Lithuania stutters, "W-What are you doing P-Poland."

Poland grins. "Isn't it like obvious? I'm like asking you to be my, like, prom date." The countries already in the room burst into laughter.

America, who is standing by the door, says, "Say yes, yes, yes.." A chorus of countries join in the chant. Romano screams, "Say fucking yes already! Your sexy Emperor commands you to."

Lithuania faints from shock.

America places Lithuania's unconscious body onto Poland's lap. "Don't drop him."

Poland smirks, "I ,like, won't." Poland steers his pony out of the meeting room and towards his destination.

Germany shouts, "Come back here Poland! You can't ditch the meeting!"

Poland laughs. He has only tonight to pull off this scheme and he needs Lithuania to accomplish it. It's a good thing he smuggled tons of duck tape from an office supply store. He'll pay them back eventually.

* * *

Lithuania groans as he awakens. "Is is night already?" He panics and looks to see Poland wearing a strange tuxedo. It looks like a tuxedo. There's something off about it. He can't put his finger on it.

That's when he remembers Poland asking him to a prom.

"P-Poland what's the meaning of this?"

Poland laughs. "You're ,like, my date to prom." Poland places an expensive saddle on his pony. "I like found an American school hosting a prom dress contest, like, this morning. We're, like, going to enter and win it." Poland has gone crazy. He didn't think Poland would go to extreme measures for money.

"Y-You want to break into a high school?" Lithuania slowly backs away from Poland. "We're not students. We can't possibly be allowed in."

Poland grins. He holds out a student I.D. "My name is, like, not Poland. I'm Joe." He shoves another I.D. "You're name is Marry."

Poland grabs his arm. "You're, like, going to need to change into your special prom dress."

Lithuania quickly comes up with an excuse. "You don't have money for an expensive prom dress." He remembers proms are expensive. Surely, Poland doesn't have the money for it.

Poland pulls him into a nearby ally. "I made a cheap one."

* * *

Lithuania ducks his head into Poland's back in embarrassment as teenagers point and laugh at them. It turns out Poland is wearing a tuxedo made entirely of duct tape. Lithuania himself is wearing a red wig with a matching red queen of hearts dress. It's, of course, made of duct tape as well.

He whispers, "W-Why didn't we pitch in money for a limousine?"

Poland snorts, "We don't, like, have that kind of money." Poland pats the pony they're riding. "We're riding in style."

At the entrance they get off the pony and walk to the security guard. The guard says, "I.D.s please." Poland proudly holds out his I.D while Lithuania reluctantly does the same.

The guard eyes them. "Joe and Mary, huh?"

Lithuania quivers. He doesn't want to be caught and shooed away in front of all the teenagers. It's embarrassing enough to be here, being turned away will add to his growing embarrassment.

The security guard opens the door. "Welcome to Prom Night. Enjoy your night."

Poland grabs his arms and pulls him to a photo booth He beams, "We're like in. We only like have five minutes until the competition starts."

Lithuania protests, "Not the photo booth." He doesn't want to remember this night and have evidence of this happening. The countries will make of him for a long time.

Poland shoves Lithuania into the photo booth. Poland does silly poses while Lithuania grimaces in each photo.

Poland eagerly leaves the photo booth with Lithuania slowly following. Poland frowns at the photos. "We like need a do over. Like smile in the photos, Liet."

"_Participants for the Best Duct Tape Prom Dress please come on stage." _

Poland shoves him through the crowd. "It's like your time to shine. Go win the prize money."

Lithuania sluggishly stands on stage with the other teenage girls. He feels awkward being the only man in this contest. He wants to get out of here, and fast.

A man speaks into the microphone, "Our school decided to make an exclusive 5,000 dollar scholarship for one lucky lady." The crowd cheers. "I will now choose the winner." The judge analyzes each contestant before stopping on him. He grabs Lithuania's arm and raises it to the air.

"We have a winner! What's your name Miss?"

"Um…Mary?"

"Congratulations! Here's your prize money." The judge hands Lithuania a trophy full of money. Poland jumps onto the stage and snatches the trophy.

Poland shouts, "We did it Liet, we like won."

"There are the imposters!"

The crowd parts to reveal a couple glaring daggers at the two countries. Lithuania gulps. _"This must be the teenagers Poland stole the I.D.s from." _

Poland laughs, "Goodbye everyone~ Like see you next year."

Poland and Lithuania scramble off the stage chased by security guards and the couple. Lithuania inwardly sighs. _"At least we're keeping the money."_

_One week later…._

Hungary grins as she holds pictures of Lithuania in a strange-looking prom dress. "I hit the jackpot!"

Frugal Money Scheme: **Success**

* * *

**I was inspired by the **"**Duck Brand Duct Tape 'Stuck at Prom' Scholarship" to write this chapter. :3 It's very loosely based on the concept of having a duct tape dress. Poor Lithuania. ;)**

**Beware of Poland going to your prom and crashing it. :D**

**You must go to your prom wearing the prom outfit you made entirely out of duck tape. It's a real scholarship you can apply for. It's $5,000 for the winner. You don't need a prom date to enter. **

**I already have a list of characters I want to appear in the kissing booth chapter, but I want to know who you guys want to see. I'll ask this question every chapter until the chapter comes.**


	16. Talking Elephant

**While I was reading through the reviews, one of them made me think: how long am I going to write this fic? After I'm done with all the countries and their 2****nd****, 3****rd****, etc attempts? A year or two? **

**I decided as long as I know people still like it and I still have inspiration for future chapters, I'll keep going. Who knows how many chapters this fic is going to have. Each country can have as many attempts as you want. (Even if they succeeded or failed their scheme.)**

**This is not labeled a China and South Korea scheme since they're not working together to earn money.**

**I thought it was a good idea to make China and South Korea friendship bonding chapter. I thought their bonding in this chapter is sweet. :3**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money.**

**I already have a list of characters I want to appear in the kissing booth chapter, but I want to know who you guys want to see. I'll ask this question every chapter until the chapter comes.**

**The Golden Rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

South Korea glumly walks around a zoo. His morale is down. He wants to earn some money for his K-pop obsession. He loves listening to his favorite band SHINee. He must have all of their albums, or else he'll go crazy!

He's still upset about the baseball thing with Cuba. He grumbles, "I have bigger balls than Cuba, da-ze." China didn't even agree with him. He thought China would know since he's 4,000 years old. He should put some of that wisdom to use.

South Korea stops in front of an exhibit to watch a zoo keeper tending to an elephant. The elephant happily eats the peanuts from the man's hands.

The zookeeper says, "Anja." (1)

The elephant shakes its head. He sticks his trunk inside mouth and says, "Aniya." (2) The elephant stomps his feet. "Nuo." (3)

The zookeeper sighs. "Humans don't lie down, Koshik."

South Korea gasps in amazement. He's heard of elephants making paintings and their owners selling them, but he's never heard of a talking elephant!

A light bulb flashes over South Korea's head. A talking elephant will bring in crowds of people. Surely, it'll be popular and he'll make tons of cash.

South Korea shouts to the zookeeper, "Can I borrow him for a few days, da-ze?"

* * *

South Korea pats Koshik's head. He cut a deal with the zookeeper. He's supposed to give him a small amount of the profit and return him before the manager finds out. Apparently, the manager is sick and he won't return to work for a week.

Koshik is a pretty social and funny elephant. He always tells South Korea to lie down with him on the dirt. South Korea became really attached to Koshik in the past day. He's going to visit him every day at the zoo after he returns him. Koshik is his new best friend.

South Korea spots China walking around with his Shinatty-chan. South Korea yells, "Annyong China! Look at my new friend Koshik." (4)

China stares in shock. "Aiyah! What are you doing riding an elephant, aru?"

South Korea proudly beams, "We're going to talk to locals and make money." His plan is brilliant because it is made in him.

China tries to pull him off the elephant. South Korea flings his legs around to prevent China from catching them. China, in a scolding tone, says, "Don't you remember what happened to Russia and Ukraine, aru? It's bad luck to use animals to make money."

South Korea remembers the incidents clearly. Russia had a freak show with mutant animals. The Russian police managed to capture all the mutant flying monkeys, except for the shark-walrus. It's still on the loose. Rumors float around saying it has last been seen in a Ukrainian naval base.

Speaking of Ukraine, her dolphins are reported to have been stolen by Iran after they escaped from the naval base. Iran denies the accusations. He calls them nonsense and a military cover-up by the Ukrainians.

South Korea laughs. "Don't worry about me, da-ze. I can handle an elephant: he's my best friend." He commands Koshik to walk towards a nearby village. China chases after them.

"He's an animal! His loyalty is bought with food, aru."

South Korea stubbornly says, "Not true. Koshik likes me. Right, da-ze?"

Koshik waves his trunk in the air. "See, he agrees with me." He knows him and Koshik will be friends forever. He feels they have this special and unbreakable bond. They'll have each other as they take on the money-making world.

China manages to grab Koshik's tail. "I'm coming with you then, aru. I have to make sure you two stay out of trouble. South Korea grins. He hopes he gets to impress China with his skills. It'll mean a lot to him.

South Korea holds out a hand to China. "Get on China. Let's do this together."

"I'm not helping you with your scheme, aru. I'm only going to be your babysitter. Someone has to make sure you stay out of trouble.

* * *

South Korea stands with China and Koshik before a large, who are curious as to what they're doing.

The Korean gestures to Koshik. "Hello everyone! This is my best friend Koshik the talking elephant." The crowd murmur as they linger closer to the group.

China whispers, "It's not going to work, aru. Let's go home."

South Korea ignores him. "Speak, Koshik."

Koshik sticks his trunk inside his mouth. "Annyong." The crowd cheers as they toss coins into the hat South Korea had placed on the ground.

Koshik the elephant speaks Korean for thirty minutes. So much money is overflowing the hat a generous person donated a big box for the rest of the money.

South Korea hugs Koshik's trunk. "You're doing a good job, da-ze."

China mumbles, "You're actually making money with an animal and nothing has gone wrong, aru." The Chinese man rubs his chin. "Maybe using animals are not so bad, aru."

Koshik squirms in his grasp. South Korea doesn't understand why Koshik is being twitchy. He didn't have stage fright in the beginning. _"Why now?" _

Koshik breaks free from South Korea and charges into the audience. The audience screams as they scatter from the elephant.

China yells, "What's wrong with Koshik, aru!"

South Korea yells back, "I don't know!"

Koshik uses his trunk to slam a man to the ground. He snatches the man's bag of peanuts and eats it. The elephant charges into nearby stands.

South Korea says, "He's hungry."

China asks, "Did you forget to feed him?"

South Korea looks away, ashamed. During his excitement, he forgot to give Koshik snack rewards for talking. He has a brief flashback of the zookeeper feeding Koshik peanuts.

"What do we do? He's out of control!"

China pulls out his wok. "Leave this to me, aru." China leaps into the air and lunges at Koshik, his wok held above his head.

China yells, "It's nap time, aru!" He whacks Koshik by the side of his head. Koshik falls to the ground, asleep.

China huffs, "Crises adverted, aru."

South Korea holds out the box and jar filled with money. "I saved the money, da-ze." Good thing he didn't lose it. He would have been devastated if he did. Him and Koshik worked so hard on earning the money.

"Is that all you care about, aru? My wok could've been dented with that elephant's skull!"

* * *

South Korea sighs in anguish as he watches Koshik chat with a female elephant. He's depressed that his best friend is ignoring him. The elephant doesn't even speak Korean anymore ever since he's been introduced to that new elephant.

He feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns to see China looking at him worriedly.

China asks, "What's wrong, aru?"

South Korea slumps back onto the rails. "Koshik doesn't want to talk to me anymore, da-ze. He's too busy talking to _her_." He points to the other elephant wrapping her trunk around Koshik's trunk. They happily swing their trunks together in unison.

After everything they've been through in two days, Koshik tossed away their precious friendship. It's feels like a stab in the heart. One of the worst ways to lose a friend is over a girl.

China sighs. "He wants to be with his own kind, aru. The zookeeper mentioned Koshik has been around humans all his life. You should be happy he's finally found an elephant friend to talk to in his own language, aru."

South Korea never thought of it like that. He never knew about Koshik's past. He never bothered to ask the zookeeper about it. Koshik must have been lonely, having to adapt in order to talk to his only companions: human.

South Korea jumps up with new energy. "I'm going to learn how to speak elephant, da-ze! Speaking elephant is made in Korea." If he learns how to speak elephant, then Koshik will talk to him. Their friendship will be repaired.

China snaps, "You don't need to speak elephant to make friends, aru! You have me and Japan and all the other countries."

South Korea feels touched. China acknowledged out loud that they're friends. This is one of the best moments in his life.

South Korea leaps at China, hands outstretched. He gropes China's chest, yelling, "Your breasts belong to me, da-ze."

China shoves South Korea away from him. "Let go of me, aru! You ruined the moment!"

South Korea smiles. "Can we watch K-pop together? I have money for the new K-pop albums."

China sighs. "Fine, aru."

Today is the best day ever. He has money to buy K-pop and he's going to watch it with China.

Frugal money scheme: **Success**. 'cuz it's made in South Korea.

* * *

**This is the most heat warming and friendship-y chapter in the history of Frugal Money Schemes. **

**(1) Anja- Sit down**

**(2) Aniya- No**

**(3) Nuo- Lie down**

**(4) Annyong- Hello**

**Choah****- Good**

**I came across an article about a talking elephant in South Korea named Koshik. His speech is limited to five Korean words. (The five words above are the words he can speak.)**

**In order to speak, Koshik moves his trunk inside his troat. Scientists have confirmed that Koshik is speaking the Korean language. **

**I think these translations are accurate since it came from the article and not Google translate. If they're not, please correct me.**

**The story China says towards the end is true. Koshik was not around other animals for a long time until he met the female elephant.**

**K-pop (Korean pop) is very popular in South Korea. I highly emphasize on very. I have a friend whose a huge K-pop fan. A few times I heard her fangirling about a K-pop group called SHINee. So I used that band. **

**This is a friendly reminder****: remember that the other countries were told by Ukraine and her boss that Iran stole their dolphins. Only you, the readers, Ukraine, her boss, Atlantis, and France really know what happened. ;D **


	17. Buy me or die!

**In this fic, no country will be seriously injured. (This is a humor fic, after all.) France had what you call the 'worst' injuries. But he's okay: it was just a few scraps here and there. In case you're wondering, France walking all the way to Spain's house made him faint from exhaustion. Someone stole his car. ;)**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The Golden Rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Lately, Belarus has been trying different strategies to become one with Russia. Just stalking him and the element of surprise hasn't been working. She spent tons of money on France's service to buying out tickets at Russia's circus. Her wedding funds are low.

Belarus digs through boxes, taking out the teddy bears she finds and stuffing them into her black trash bag. She grins in glee. "When I have enough money, I'll come for you again, dear brother."

Belarus' brilliant idea is to sell the teddy bears she finds at the abandoned teddy bear factory. It's not like she's stealing it. She's taking free leftovers after the factory was shut down.

When Belarus decides she has enough to start selling, she heads to the exit with the trash bag slung over her shoulder. "It's time to start my business." Belarus darkly smiles. "But first, I must personalize my merchandise."

* * *

America is sitting in his living room watching 'Iron Man 2.' He's very bored. He wants to attempt another money-making scheme, but he's not sure what he wants to do. America grimaces. There's no way in hell he's going to be a cop again.

He knows he looks sexy in uniform. He's so sexy woman can't control themselves around him. He doesn't want drunk (or sober) woman throwing themselves at him on the job. Some woman these days need to learn some self-control.

America hears loud tapping coming from the window. He says, "I wasn't expecting anyone today." He gets up to check who it is. He smiles when he sees a golden brown teddy bear holding a heart over its head. He gulps as he notices the message on the its shirt.

_Buy me or die. _

–_Belarus_

"Belarus is gonna kill me!" He closes the blinds and scrambles to the safety of his room. He shuts the door and slides down to the floor with his back to the door. He sighs in relief. He doesn't want to buy a creepy teddy bear. It's not like he has much money left. He had to give a large portion of his hard-earned cash to England and China. They bullied him to hand it over!

He pales as he looks to the window. There's another teddy bear. This time it has questionable red smudges on it. It has the same message like the other one. "That better not be blood stains..."

Belarus pops her head through the open window. She climbs her way in and slowly walks towards him. America quivers with each step she takes. Her aura is scary! She looks like she's going to kill him. He doesn't want to die at the hands of Belarus. There are many hamburgers he hasn't eaten yet.

Belarus shoves a teddy bear in his face. "Buy it or else you'll never see daylight ever again." It's kind of strange being forced to buy a stuffed animal named after your president from a foreign country.

"Okay, I'll buy it! Just please leave me alone."

Belarus holds out her hand. "That'll be fifty American dollars."

America stutters, "W-What? That's a rip off!" Belarus is totally taking advantage of him. Teddy bears are not worth that much. She's acting like an evil villain.

Belarus coldly holds a knife to his throat. "Your money or your neck."

"T-Take my money! I d-don't need it."

* * *

Belarus smirks as she flips through her bundles of cash. She has made remarkable progress with her teddy bear business. She has the skills of an expert saleswoman. No one could say no to her.

Belarus strolls on the street and notices Sweden walking past her with a pile of teddy bears in his arms. She narrows her eyes. _"He better not be selling those, too." _

She coldly taps his shoulder. "Are you selling those?" Sweden nods.

Belarus growls, "You're not thinking of selling those teddy bears to Russia, are you?" Belarus is heading to Russia's house to sell her merchandise. She made special revisions to the teddy bears.

Sweden stares at her. "Yes."

"_I'll be victorious."_

Belarus zooms through the sky in a vintage world war two plane. She wants to beat Sweden to Russia's house, so she 'borrowed' someone's plane. It's not like they're going to miss it. This plane is helping with her cause.

Belarus checks the back seat for her teddy bears. They're all accounted for.

Belarus glares as Sweden's plane flies right next her. Sweden says, "I'll make the sale."

Belarus darkly says, "May the best saleswoman win." Belarus pulls her plane behind Sweden's plane and fires. The plane's tail is hit with a barrage of teddy bears dressed up as famous Hollywood horror movie killers.

Belarus' plane didn't have any ammo when she got it. She improvised and used teddy bears.

Sweden grunts, "..Fine…" He moves the plane behind Belarus and shoots teddy bears wearing lingerie. Belarus curses. She didn't expect Sweden to do the same thing as her.

Belarus screams over the roars of their engines, "It's war!"

* * *

Russia calmly walks out of his house, happy. Belarus, strangely, didn't harass him to marry him today. It's a pleasant day out in the snow, despite the coldness.

He hears shouting and looks up to see two fighter planes engaging in a dog fight in the skies. Russia finds this strange. He doesn't recall any stunt plane shows near his house. He assumes it's stunt planes because they haven't been shot down yet and they're not attacking buildings.

The planes fly towards each other and crash in a fire-y explosion. His eyes widen in shock. He looks up and spots two bodies with parachutes slowly falling from the sky. There's also a bunch of small objects (with what he assumes to be mini parachutes?) falling with them.

He gets a closer look and nearly yelps in fright.

Belarus, surrounded by teddy bears with parachutes dressed in wedding dresses and tuxedos, shouts, "Marry me, marry me, marry me, MARRY ME!"

Russia yells, "No, leave me alone!"

"…..and buy my teddy bears too!" Russia stops. He doesn't know why Belarus is selling teddy bears, but he doesn't want to buy any of them. It can be a trap.

A teddy bear with Russia's head stitched on smacks Russia in the face. He plumps to the snow-covered ground.

"I forgot to give him a parachute…."

Frugal money scheme: **Success**.

* * *

**Fun fact: President ****Theodore Roosevelt went on a bear hunt. The people who organized the hunt wanted to make sure the hunt was successful. After three days of hunting, he didn't find any bears. The hunt guide and his dogs cornered an old bear and injured it. Roosevelt refused to shoot it.**

**Later, this story was printed in the news. One toymaker had an inspiration to make a stuffed bear and call it "Teddy's bear." Today, we know it as Teddy bear. You can Google the full story if you want to. I made a short summary of it.**

**Two Swedes air dropped tons of teddy bears into Belarus to ****show support for Belarusian human rights activists and embarrass the country's military. This is where I got my inspiration for this chapter. :D**

**I already have a list of characters I want to appear in the kissing booth chapter, but I want to know who you guys want to see. I'll ask this question every chapter until the chapter comes.**


	18. Skiing Lessons

**Judging by the requests of countries to appear in the kissing booth chapter, it might become an interesting two part chapter scheme. Or maybe even a mini arc. :D **

**The kissing booth will have my own spin on it. It won't be your typical kissing booth. The only hint I will give out is that the Bad Touch Trio's scheme has the elements of a kissing booth. What does that mean? I'll let you guys keep guessing until their chapter comes up. :)**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**I already have a list of characters I want to appear in the kissing booth chapter, but I want to know who you guys want to see. I'll ask this question every chapter until the chapter comes.**

**The golden rule: If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Canada adjusts his skis as France flirts with some woman. He sighs in disappointment. He and France are supposed to charge people for their skiing lessons with them. Women keep coming for the skiing lessons and France doesn't charge them. He keeps coming up with excuses to give them one hundred percent discounts.

The one time France remembers him and he spends their time chatting away with women, ignoring his presence. France was the one to ask him with this money scheme in the first place.

France wraps an arm around a tourist's shoulders. He winks at her. "How about you and I go to your house to celebrate the birthday girl's day?"

The woman giggles. "I'd love to have you over."

Canada quietly says, "I'm leaving." He doesn't deserve this disrespect. He'll find his own way to make money by himself. Maybe he can dress Kuma in some costume and make him dance in front of a crowd for spare change.

"W-Wait! Don't go Canada."

France pulls him into a tight hug. "I need you to help me make money. My business is slow and I need to have more money to expand it." Lately, France's Pick-U-Up service has lost its popularity. Fewer people call France for love advice. There have been rumors going around that someone is sabotaging his revenge by prank calling his clients.

The suspects are Romano and England. Romano has been declaring stay-the-hell-away-from-my-brother-you-bastard laws against France. The Italian is really adamant in getting more revenge on France. (Even though he already did his revenge with the turtle thing, which is now a YouTube sensation.)

Canada continues walking away, with France being dragged along since he's keeping a tight grip on his shoulders. "I want to go home now. You keep ignoring me."

France hastily says, "I promise not to ignore you anymore. Please don't leave me."

Canada sighs. He can't leave France in a state like this. "Fine. But no more female clients."

"B-But"

"I'll go to the airport, eh."

France tightens his grip. "O-Okay, we'll find some men instead." France lets go and points in a random direction. "How about him?"

Canada's eyes widen. There's America struggling to put on his skis. "W-What is America doing in the French Alps?" He thought the American said he was going on vacation in Las Vegas.

France voices his question. "Bonjour America, why are you skiing here?"

America looks up and laughs. "I wanted to go to Vegas but my boss said no for some reason. He approved of my idea to take a vacation here." America's boss probably didn't want to repeat the casino incident again. America is banned from some of the casinos in Vegas. So much destruction when America was trying to be a hero and catch a cheating customer.

Canada sees this as his chance for a potential customer. "America, would you like some skiing lessons?" America ignores him while continuing his chat with France.

France gets a gleam in his eye. "Would you like skiing lessons? We're offering our services to everyone."

America's eyes brighten. "Heck yeah, I'll pay for it."

Canada becomes gloomy. "That's what I said…"

* * *

They're in a deeper part of the snowy mountain for privacy reasons. They can call each other by their country names here.

Canada repeats himself, annoyed. "America, for the last time, you need to-"

America waves his hand. "Yeah, yeah, I got it Canadia."

"It's Canada." He really hates this job. He wants America to pay him already so he can leave.

France wraps his arms around America's waist from behind. He leans towards America's ears. "I'll teach you how to do it~"

America shoves France away from him. The American loses his balance and tumbles to the snow. He looks at France, disgusted. "That's gross dude. Don't talk about _that _here."

France looks at America with a perverted grin. "I wasn't talking about _that_, but if you want I can charge you a little extra for that." France walks closer to America, with his hands outstretched mockingly.

Canada softly says, "Please stop. Leave America alone, France." Unsurprisingly, both of them ignore him.

America scrambles away from France. "Hell no!" America backs up to a tree and struggles to use it as support to stand up. "Did you forget about England already? You two had phone sex, remember!" Canada nearly face palms. The phone sex thing hasn't died down yet. It's still a popular piece of gossip countries love to talk about.

France leans into America's personal space with an evil grin. "Oui, I remember. There's always room for one more." Canada dislikes France's sense of humor. It always creeps the other nations out. They'll even stoop to consider him a rapist, which he is not, because of his choice of words.

America screams, "GO AWAY!" America's voice echoes in the mountain. Canada and France worriedly look to the mountain. He sees a huge avalanche in the higher part of the mountain coming straight towards them!

Canada and France both grab one of America's arms, yelling, "Avalanche!" America finally grasps the danger. He runs ahead of Canada and France. The two countries left behind chase after America. They manage to catch up to him.

America shouts, "This is all your fault. If you weren't a pervert, this wouldn't have happened."

France angrily shouts back, "My fault? I was all a joke. I didn't really mean it. It's not my fault you took it seriously."

Canada pipes in, "Stop fighting. We need to find shelter."

"Shut up Canada," both countries yell. Canada is losing patience with them. They hardly acknowledge him, and when they do, it's to yell at him.

The avalanche is catching up to them quickly, if they don't find shelter soon, they'll be buried alive. America points into a cave. "Let's go in there." America jumps into it.

The other countries don't hesitate and join America. It wasn't a moment too soon before the avalanche covers the entrance to the cave.

Canada, France, and America lift themselves from the ground, groaning. America yells out, "Everyone id here, right?"

Canada remarks, "Be quiet America. We're standing right next to you."

America looks at him curiously. "When did you get here Canada?"

Canada sighs. "I've been here the entire time."

France heads out in front of them. "Let's find a way out of here, mon amis. The way we came in is blocked."

Sure enough, France is right. The cave entrance is blocked with snow. America, ambitious, starts clawing the snow. "Leave it to the hero. I'll get us out." The cave shakes, making the countries fall to their knees. Suddenly, a hole forms at America's feet.

America yells as he falls through in. Canada and France scream, "America!" The hole becomes bigger, causing the area underneath the remaining two countries to fall through it. Canada plops to the ground with France falling on top of him.

Canada yelps, "Maple!" The pain on his back is unbearable. France rolls off him and whines about his 'ruined' hair. Canada snaps. "We're stuck here and you're complaining about your hair? We can be stuck out here without any hope of rescuers if we don't find a way out soon."

France stares in shock. Canada can't handle the stress anymore. Being ignored and dealing with these two countries was draining his patience.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Canada."

Canada looks to see America standing a few feet away from them. America grins. "Let's do some exploring. I'm sure we can find another exit."

The three countries sluggishly walk through the cave with America shivering. America whispers, "D-Do you think there're ghosts in here? This place is kinda creepy." The tunnel is dark with very little light filtering in.

France scoffs, "Don't be ridicules. There're no ghosts here." Canada is ashamed of America thinking about ghosts in a time like this. The tunnel may be creepy, but there couldn't be any ghosts in here.

America points to a nearby skeleton. "There's a dead guy here. His ghost must be haunting us."

Canada says, "America, for the last time, there's no ghost!"

They stop when a loud growl echoes in the cave. This only scares America even more.

"Holy shit! There's a monster in here to suck our souls out."

France nervously says, "I-It's nothing let's move on." They all round the corner to come face to face with a giant, and white, furry creature. The countries shiver in anticipation, waiting.

America whispers, "It's the abominable snowman."

France whispers back, "What is it doing out of its natural habitat?"

A furry hand reaches out and grabs Canada's curl. His eyes widen. He yells, "M-Maple!"

The abominable snowman looks at Canada lovingly. It brings Canada into a huge hug. Canada panics. "H-Help me."

The two countries look at each other before glancing at Canada, laughing.

America falls to the ground, gripping his stomach. "Nice Canadian mating call, Canada." It isn't a abominable snowman, it's a she: an abominable snowwoman.

France snickers. "I don't judge your choice, Canada. After all, I am the country of love. I love all beautiful men and woman." France winks. "I never knew your French side prefers beautiful monsters."

The abominable snowwoman smooches Canada's face, making him uncomfortable. "It's not funny. Please save me."

* * *

America waves to the female abominable snowwoman. "Thanks for the directions. I hope to see you again soon."

The abominable snowwoman grunts. Then she blows a kiss to Canada. He shudders. He's glad they made it out alive. Although he can do without a supposedly mythical creature falling in love with him.

France wraps an arm around Canada. "I see my skills rubbed off on you. I knew you were my favorite." Canada frowns.

America snaps his fingers. "I almost forgot. I'm not paying you guys."

Canada and France gasp. "Why not?"

America laughs with his hands in his pocket. "You didn't teach me how to ski. We were stranded in the middle of nowhere." America holds out his cell phone. "Canada, can you do your mating call again? I want to record it this time."

Canada narrows his eyes. "No!"

Frugal Money Scheme: **Failure**.

* * *

**France has the highest number of ski resorts.**

**The abominable snowman is said to live in the Himalaya region of Nepal and Tibet.**

**Woman just can't get enough of the countries. Even the female abominable snowwoman can't help themselves around Canada. XD**


	19. Rabbit Hunting

**Sorry for the late update. I got sucked into a very important group project. I was active in the project with my other group members.**

**The long-awaited Bad Touch Trio scheme is the next chapter. It's going to be exciting and interesting to write because of all your guys' suggestions. XD**

**This might be the last chapter I'm taking requests for the kissing booth. Unless I can squeeze them somehow. **

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The golden rule: If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Spain hides in a bush, watching a brown-eared rabbit chatting up a female rabbit. A birthday party in the park doesn't seem to scare the rabbits. Children wearing party hats play tag cheerfully.

Spain tightens his grasp on his butterfly net. He crawls out of the bush, only for his hand to crush a twig loudly. Spain winces. He checks to see if the rabbits are still there. Sadly, the rabbits are running off and out of sight.

Spain gets up and sighs. "I haven't been able to catch any rabbits. I really want to buy Romano a giant tomato plushie."

Romano's birthday is coming up and he wants to buy something special for him. So he thought, _"Why not buy a tomato for my tomato_?" He doesn't have any money because he used it all up on churros.

He discovered a solution to his problem when he talked to a pretty university student.

There has been a rabbit epidemic in the area. Irresponsible owners have been abandoning their rabbits in the city. Because of this, it caused a population boom. The rabbits are destroying the delicate wild life and public property. Local universities are offering reward money to whoever can catch this rabbits.

Spain sees a rabbit's butt sticking out of a bush across from him. Spain's eyes glint with determination. He lifts the butterfly net above his head, tiptoeing to his target. He whispers, "Can it be….Rabbitzilla?"

There's been a rumor going around of a large white rabbit, half the size of an average man's height when it stands on his feet, roaming the streets. People also say the Russians are behind the mutations, but it can't be proven. They call him Rabbitzilla.

A huge reward of 5,000 dollars for his capture entices Spain to attempt to catch him. It's too hard to resist since Rabbitzilla is right there in front of him!

Spain stops when he's a few feet from him. Spain leaps with his battle cry, "For my tomatoes!" He lands on his back and slams the net over his face. 'Rabbitzilla' kicks his feet around, trying desperately to escape. Spain holds on with his skills as a bull rider. The animal curses, "Get the hell off me, you bastard."

Spain loses his grip in shock. "R-Romano?"

Romano abruptly gets on his knees, which sends Spain flying behind the Italian. Spain lies on the grass. He slowly stands up as he keeps eye contact with Romano. His butterfly net is stuck in a tree branch, forgotten.

Romano is dressed in a fluffy white rabbit full body costume with a neon blue polka dot bow tie. The Italian crosses his arms and scowls at him. "What are you looking at, tomato bastard?"

Spain blinks. He smiles and glomps Romano. The Spaniard rubs his cheek against Romano's cheek. "You're so cute~"

Romano growls, "I'm doing this for a damn birthday party. I need the money." Romano struggles in vain to remove Spain from his person. There's no way Spain is letting go. He doesn't know when he's going to get another opportunity to see Romano dressed like this again.

Spain smile grows bigger. "I'll pay you to dress up like a tomato at my birthday party next year."

Romano seems to consider it for a few moments before screaming, "Hell no! I'll never live it down if the other countries see me." Romano grumbles under his breath, "Especially the potato bastard."

A cute little girl wearing a pink feathery crown pulls Romano's leg. "Mr. Rabbit, let's play pin the tail on the animal again. I am the birthday girl after all." She gives Romano a malicious smile.

Romano shoves Spain to the ground and points his 'paw' at her. "That's it! I quit you spoiled brat. No amount of money is worth dealing with your shit."

Spain scolds Romano. "Now Romano, that's no way to talk to children."

Romano glares at the child. "This little girl is a demon from hell. She used my ass for target practice, forced me to give all her friends a piggy back ride at the same time, blamed me for eating her birthday cake and smashing her presents, and a few minutes ago she wanted to use me as a piñata." It might explain why Romano was hiding in a bush.

Spain looks at the little girl, who is giving him an angelic smile. Surely an evil person can't have an innocent smile like her. He looks back at Romano. "Are you sure it was her who did all these mean things?"

Romano fumes. "Yes, it was her. I can never forget her demon smile." Romano holds out his hands, looking ready to grab her. Spain wraps his arms around him and drags him away. Romano continues screeching curse words in Italian at the birthday girl as they leave that area of the park.

* * *

Spain and Romano, who is still in his rabbit costume, sneak behind bushes. Spain peaks around some trees. He whispers, "Are you sure you saw it around here?"

Romano angrily says, "How can I not notice a fat rabbit like that? It looked like it reaches my knees." Spain convinced a reluctant Romano to join him in his search for the elusive Rabbitzilla. It took a bribe of many tomatoes, but it was worth it. Romano saw Rabbitzilla a while ago while he was 'tortued' by the children earlier in the day.

This is Spain's first lead on Rabbitzilla and he's not going to let this precious opportunity slip through his fingers.

"Psst, Spain. I found it." Romano is on his knees keeping his eyes focused behind a bush of flowers. Spain eagerly joins Romano and sits next to him.

A large white rabbit with scars trailing down his back has his attention on a carrot. Rabbitzilla munches on his food agressivley. He snarls at any animal that tries to come close.

"What's the plan?"

Spain ponders. "We'll use my butterfly net…" Spain reaches to his side. He remembers he never did get it back when he was launched from Romano's back. Spain sheepishly rubs his head. "Oh, I lost it."

Romano yells, "You lost it! How the hell are we going to catch that thing?"

His yelling catches the attention of Rabbitzilla. The large rabbit stares straight at them with his large buck teeth ready to take a huge chunk out of them. Rabbitzilla releases a growl and charges at them.

The countries scream and lunge into the other flower bush behind them. They yelp from pain.

Rabbitzilla refuses to enter and resorts to growling at them. It doesn't take long for Rabbitzilla to become bored. He hops away, leaving them alone.

Romano says, "Out of all the places- we land in a rose bush." The rose bush they're in has sharp thorns. Spain checks his arms to see scratch marks. It's bleeding a little bit. It's nowhere near life threatening, so they're fine.

Romano grumbles, "At least this stupid costume protected my face." There are small scratches on his face, but otherwise he's fine.

Spain smiles at Romano. "At least we're together."

Romano huffs. "Don't get any ideas. Stay away from me." Spain does his best to hold out his arms. It's pretty difficult to give hugs with all the thorny stems in the way.

Spain moves forward the best he can. "Hug me, Romano."

"No way in hell!"

Spain asks, "You're still going to dress up as a tomato for my next birthday party, right?" He's going to take as many pictures as he can. He'll also make some photocopies for Hungary. He can make some extra money selling them to her. He knows she'll love them.

"I never agreed to that, tomato bastard!"

* * *

Frugal money scheme: **Failure**.

**Those Russian are always up to no good with their mutant animals. xD**

**Spain was originally called Ispania, which means the "land of the rabbits."**


	20. The Cursed Mistletoe Arc

**I want to make it clear that there is no official straight or yaoi pairings in this fic. I don't want to force any pairings on anyone. **

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**Enjoy this mini arc. :) *cough three chapters long cough***

**The golden rule: If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Prussia takes a huge gulp of his beer. He looks to see France and Spain lounging on the sofas, bored out of their minds. They're at Spain's house trying to decide how they want to make money. They agreed to work as a team and to split the money.

Prussia mumbles, "I need the money badly." For some strange reason, his money is going missing. Even stranger, he keeps getting bills from a spa in Hungary. He suspects Hungary is having several spa days using his money and credit card. She keeps denying it, though.

Spain pulls out a tomato from his pocket. "How about we sell tomatoes?"

Prussia snorts at the lame idea. "I don't want to stand out in the sun all day selling tomatoes. That's boring and unawesome." If Prussia wants to work, it might as well be something fun. Like the car wash he did weeks ago. He would love to do another one, but business has been slow lately since Germany hunted down the perverted cop and had her fired.

The cops found out about his scheme from West's report and they say it's too 'inappropriate' and illegal. They're purposely patrolling his street more often, hell-bent on giving him a huge fine. He had to abandon that fun scheme, much to the disappointment of his female clients.

France grins and he gets a sly look in his eyes. "I have an idea we'll all like."

Prussia raises an eyebrow. "I'll be the judge of that."

France stands and takes mistletoe from his pocket. He holds it above his head and makes a kissy face. "We're going to do a kissing booth." Prussia finds it a little strange that France is carrying a mistletoe when it's nowhere near Christmas. Mistletoes are not needed for kissing booths anyway.

Prussia thinks it over. It doesn't sound like a bad idea. He gets an excuse to kiss lots of hot babes in one day and make money.

Prussia grins. "Let's go find a table."

France wags his finger. "We're going to do our unique kissing booth at the world meeting tomorrow. It'll be more interesting." Prussia's eyes widen. France must've lost his mind.

Spain pipes, "But France, there's no way we can convince the countries to come to our kissing booth. Maybe Italy or other countries like him if we're lucky. We're better off doing this on the street. We'll get plenty of customers there."

Prussia couldn't agree more with Spain. The countries will refuse to even go near their kissing booth. They need more customers than just Italy to make decent money. He knows woman think they're very attractive. They'll come flocking to them in hoards.

France shakes his head. He wraps his arms around Prussia and Spain's shoulder. "It won't be a challenge with the ladies. Besides, the countries won't be able to run away with this mistletoe." France lets them go and shakes the mistletoe.

Prussia says, "When people stand under a mistletoe, it doesn't mean they'll agree to kiss the other person." He should know. He tried this stunt with Hungary last year during a Christmas party. He held the mistletoe above their heads and had his lips puckered up. She hits him in the face with her frying pan instead of returning the kiss.

France says, "I'll give a demonstration with Spain."

Spain smiles. "Okay."

France holds the mistletoe above Spain's head. The red berries in the mistletoe glow a dark purple. Spain's eyes widen in shock. His body posture is stiff as France kisses him on the check. His hand reaches into Spain's pocket and he steals his wallet. France pulls away with a smirk. "See?"

Spain gasps and wraps his arms around his waist. "W-Where did you get that thing?" France places the Spaniard's wallet back into his pocket.

France holds out the mistletoe in the palm of his hand, "I 'borrowed' it from England. Whoever is the victim is paralyzed until a kiss breaks the spell. Sounds romantic, no?" A sinister smirk crosses his face. He may not believe in England's magic, but this mistletoe will make some very interesting situations.

Prussia snatches the mistletoe. "Count the awesome me in."

France gives him a one arm hug. "Good. Here's the plan. We roam the building for victims during break time and use this mistletoe to trap them. When we give them a kiss we take their wallet too." France's plan is getting better and better with each word that's coming out of his mouth. Nothing can go wrong with this awesome plan.

Spain scratches his head. "Isn't this more of a kiss and mug instead of a kissing booth?"

Prussia wraps an arm around Spain. "It's more of a moving kissing booth. Carrying a table with us will slow us down."

A dark look passes over his face. "We're going to prepare for our big day tomorrow."

* * *

It's break time at the building holding the World Conference. Because of technical difficulties with the projector and the lighting in the meeting room, Germany called for break time. The countries can't call it a day since it's too early to quit yet.

Prussia, France, and Spain lurk in a corner, waiting for their first victim.

France whispers to Spain, "Did you do what I told you to do?"

Spain winks. "Yes. No one can escape." Spain was assigned to block all possible exits. They don't want their customers to get any ideas and go home early.

Prussia hushes them. "Shut up. Someone's coming." Romano walks by them angrily munching on a tomato. France smirks. "He's mine."

France strolls up to Romano and taps his shoulder. Romano glares at him. "What do you want, you bastard?"

France holds the mistletoe over them. "Revenge, mon ami." Prussia knows France is still angry about being mugged by turtles and humiliated by millions of people on live T.V. England still laughs at him to this day.

Romano freezes. France leans in, with Romano's closed mouth trying to scream. France kisses him while he snatches his wallet. France steps back with the wallet in hand. Romano tries to take his wallet back, but Prussia and Spain hold him back.

Romano screams, "Did you use tongue?"

France winks. "Non, but I'll charge you extra if you want some."

"Hell no! And give me my wallet back."

France peaks into the wallet and sighs in disappointment. "You're broke?" Prussia frowns. Their first customer just had to be broke. What a letdown.

Romano's face turns red with anger. "I used all my money on my new Lamborghini. Every sexy Emperor needs a sexy ride." Prussia cannot deny that logic. It makes perfect sense.

In fact, he wants to buy a sexy ride for a sexy Prussian such as himself.

Romano complains, "Stupid birthday kid ruined my money-making idea."

Spain brings Romano into a tight hug. "It's okay. You can join our kissing booth and make money too."

Romano struggles and shouts, "There's no way in hell I'm doing a stupid thing like that." The Italian glares at them. "And stay away from Italy. I don't want your perverted lips on him." France neck chops Romano. The Italian becomes limp in Spain's arms.

Prussia and Spain stare at him in shock. He never expected France of all people to get physical with anyone, except England.

France, taking advantage of their shock, takes the limp Romano from them. France drags him into a janitor's closet. Prussia looks over France's shoulder to see him stuffing a pair of socks into Romano's mouth. France ties Romano's legs and hands together with tight knots.

Prussia asks, "What are you doing to Romano?"

France whispers, "We can't let Romano tell everyone yet. I want to hunt some more countries down before that happens." France eyes twinkle. "Once everyone knows about our kissing booth, the real fun will begin."

Prussia smirks. "I love the way you think."

Spain murmurs, "Hungary is standing at the end of the hallway with our back to us."

France hands the mistletoe to Prussia. He gives him a thumbs up. "Go get her, Prussia." France locks the janitor closet from the outside.

Prussia's grip tightens on it. "Will do." He didn't succeed in trolling her with his mistletoe last year. He'll succeed this time.

Prussia runs up to Hungary, seeing her long brown hair in the distance. He grabs her shoulder and lifts the mistletoe above them. He turns her around and kisses her right on her mouth. _"I got you." _He reaches into her pocket and takes her wallet. He slips it into his own pocket. Prussia opens his eyes. He stares in shock. He's looking into Belarus' eyes, not Hungary's.

Belarus snarls and punches him in the stomach. "My lips only belong to Russia."

Prussia gasps and holds his stomach. He falls on his butt in shock. "W-Why are you dressed up like Hungary?" Belarus is wearing a wig and dressed in Hungary's dress.

"So I can have the element of surprise when I ask Russia to marry me." Belarus walks away, leaving Prussia to be comforted by the other members of the Bad Touch Trio.

Spain cheerfully says, "It's alright. You got the money."

Prussia's hands hover over his lips. He fearfully says, "Holy shit….I kissed Belarus…and survived…"

France slaps Prussia across the face. "Get a hold of yourself. We need to continue our scheme."

Prussia slowly stands with their help. "You guys are right. Let's get on with it."

Operation Kissing Booth is still a go. They need the money to fulfill their dreams. Spain wants to buy a tomato plushie for Romano, France wants to buy new clothes, and he wants a sexy new ride.

Frugal money scheme: **still in progress.**

* * *

**How many people did I troll with Belarus? I couldn't resist. XD The countries and their pets aren't the only trolls. ;)**

**Don't worry if your request wasn't done in this chapter. This chapter was more of an intro to their scheme. A victim may have their turn at the kissing booth more than once…..**


	21. Our Manly Pride is on the Line!

**It's time to continue the cursed mistletoe arc. :D**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The golden rule: If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

The Bad Touch Trio are hiding behind a desk, watching South Korea chatting with Japan. They're in a room waiting for the right chance to attack.

Prussia whispers, "Me and Spain will grab Japan since he's the closest. France, you hold down South Korea." He clenches the mistletoe in his pocket. He's ready to make some easy money. Spain and France nod in confirmation.

South Korea gropes Japan's chest. "Your breasts belong to me, da-ze." The three countries edge to the ends of the desk, in a ready position to strike. Prussia gives the two finger salute signal. They spring into action.

Prussia and Spain lunge at Japan and pin him to the ground. France jumps over the fallen countries and hurls himself at South Korea. The Korean screams as he's caught in a death grip by France.

Japan, startled, asks, "W-What are you doing?"

Spain takes the mistletoe from his pocket. "It's my turn. I let France kiss my Romano and I want to have my turn." The Spaniard moves it over Japan's head. The mistletoe glows a dark purple aura. The red and gold ribbon on it swifts around as if there's wind blowing it.

"What are you doing with-" Japan's body stiffens. His mouth closes shut abruptly and freezes.

Spain moves in with his lips puckered up. "Now give boss Spain a big kiss." Japan's horrified and muffled protests are silenced by Spain's lips. A large scarlet blush spreads over Japan's face.

Japan stutters, "T-This is highly inappropriate!" Prussia takes the opportunity to snag his wallet. Prussia smirks. He finds a nice sum of money.

Prussia hits a pressure point in Japan's neck before he recovers from shock and renders him unconscious.

South Korea shrieks "Leave him alone!"

Prussia laughs. "Hey France, it's his turn at our kissing booth. Someone is eager to have a kiss."

France chuckles. "It's time to punish the naughty boy~" Prussia loves the freaked out look on South Korea's face. It's priceless. He should have brought a camera along. The photos would have been nice mementoes of this adventure.

South Korea elbows France in the gut. France grunts as the much traumatized nation breaks free and makes it outside the exit, screaming. Prussia and Spain were unable to catch the escapee since they were still sitting on Japan.

Prussia remarks, "You know, he makes a good seat cushion." He pats Japan's back for emphasis.

Spain asks, "Why are you so nonchalant? We let a witness escape. Our fun is going to end too soon."

Prussia smirks. "Let him go. It'll make our kissing booth more interesting." The nations can't escape. They're trapped like rats. It'll be fun to watch them squirm.

* * *

Italy clings to Germany and whines, "Why don't you like pasta? It's good for you."

Russia seems to be at peace since Belarus is nowhere to be found. America is inhaling his hamburgers at an unnatural speed.

England sighs in irritation. Break time is over. The problems have been fixed. The meeting is going to resume, but most of the countries haven't returned. The only countries in the room are Italy, Germany, America, Russia, China, and himself. He grumbles as he smoothes over his thin eyebrows.

England is still mad about the eyebrow waxing incident at the Hungarian spa. He attempted to speed up his eyebrow's growth by using his magic. Unfortunately, it only resulted in thin eyebrows. He's been trying to turn his eyebrows back to its normal size, but alas, it's not working. Hell, his eyebrows has stopped growing.

The Englishman has noticed he's been getting more attention from the ladies. He's not used to flirtatious advances (other than France). He's a little flattered, but mostly angry. _"Why didn't woman give me this attention when I had thick eyebrows?" _

Germany says, "It looks like they ditched the meeting. We'll start-"

South Korea dramatically bursts threw the doors with his sleeves wailing in the air. All the countries stare at him with varying degrees of shock. The Korean throws himself at China. He wraps his arms around his waist and buries his head in the Chinese man's shoulder. "Protect me, China. It was so horrible!"

China reassure South Korea by awkwardly patting his back. "What's wrong, aru?" England has never seen him act as badly as this before. He's acting as if someone canceled his favorite Korean drama.

South Korea cries, "They violated Japan and I was next!" England becomes alarmed. A pervert is probably on the loose in the building.

China grabs South Korea shoulders. He urgently says, "Who hurt Japan, aru?"

"They came out of nowhere! S-Spain kissed Japan with this creepy mistletoe. It was glowing purple. And the Bad Touch Trio are doing a Kissing Booth."

England pauses. The description of the mistletoe's aura sounds familiar. He wonders…..

He asks, "Does the mistletoe have a red and gold ribbon on it?"

South Korea blinks. "How do you know?" The countries turn their attention on him.

England rubs his face. "I had in my possession a special mistletoe. It was stolen from me a few days ago. This mistletoe freezes the victim on the spot, which allows the user to force a kiss on them."

America snorts, "You couldn't get any kisses so you used this thing to score some?"

England angrily retorts, "Of course not. It was a gift from Dumbledore." The mistletoe is a prototype. It's considered defective and 'cursed.' The wizarding school couldn't use this item during Christmas time because people would abuse it. Dumbledore mentioned a certain pair of twins would cause mischief and chaos throughout the school if they ever get their hands on it.

Germany coughs, "South Korea, you mentioned they were doing a kissing booth?"

South Korea, who managed to continue clinging onto China, nods. "They used the mistletoe to kiss Japan and steal his wallet."

Germany curses, "I should've known this would be my brother's newest money scheme. He's been desperate to make money since I shut down his 'car wash' business."

England comes to a horrible conclusion. "Those hooligans are using the mistletoe for their kissing booth to ambush countries to kiss and steal their wallets." This could explain the missing countries. They could be possible victims, wallowing in their shame.

Italy innocently says, "Germany, let's go to the kissing booth. I want to kiss some pretty ladies. You can get some kisses too. It'll make you smile."

Germany angrily replies, "There are no woman at their so-called kissing booth and I don't want my wallet to be stolen." England's hand reaches into his pocket. He pats it to be certain his wallet is still there.

America shouts, "There's no way I'm being kissed by them, so here's my plan. You guys be my back up while I save the victims." There's a slight tension in the air. England knows most of the men in the room would hate being kissed by those buffoons. It'll be a huge blow to their pride.

Russia, who remained quiet at the time, says, "How about we split up, da? One group gathers the missing countries while the others restrain France, Spain, and Prussia." England thinks it's a good plan. It might just work.

* * *

Prussia and France lurk outside of the woman's restroom. They're waiting for Liechtenstein to come out. Spain is doing his special job at the moment. He won't be joining them for a while.

Prussia nervously says, "Let's go find England or someone else. Switzerland will kill us if we try to kiss Liechtenstein." He has a right to be nervous. They blocked all possible escape routes. If Switzerland decides to hunt them down with his shot gun for any reason, they're screwed. This will be a humiliating end to their scheme.

France chuckles. He waves the cursed mistletoe. "Do I smell fear?"

"N-No!"

France winks. "Leave it to moi. You're not the only man on this team who can make amazing plans." He doesn't know what France is planning, but for some reason, he feels he's going to like his plan.

Liechtenstein walks out of the bathroom and stops when she sees them. France gives a friendly smile. "Bonjour, petite fille, how are you today?"

Liechtenstein looks wary. "I'm fine and you?"

France keeps the smile on his face. "I feel good." France puts on a pitiful face. "My friends and I are doing a kissing booth to raise money for some charities in our countries. Will you spare us a small kiss and some money for our cause?" Prussia can't believe it. France is conning a little girl out of her money.

Liechtenstein looks to the floor. "I don't think I should. Switzerland wouldn't approve of this."

Some fake tears fall from France's eyes. He puts on his puppy dog eyes. "It's only a little kiss. There's no harm in it." France holds out his hands. "It's for a good cause," he stresses.

Liechtenstein has a thoughtful look on her face. "Well, okay, I'll do it." She pulls out some money from her pocket and hands it to France. He pockets it.

France leans down and parts her hair from her forehead before he kisses it. "See, it wasn't so bad, was it?" Liechtenstein nods.

France puts on another façade. "If only I had your cute charm to make our kissing booth successful! None of the other countries want to help our fundraising efforts. They want to kiss pretty girls, not handsome men. It is time for us to part. Good bye and stay cute."

France grabs their arms and leads them away. They slowly walk away with Liechtenstein watching them. Prussia says, "Are you doing what I think you're doing?"

France smirks. "Oui. Three…two…one…"

"Wait! I'll help."

France quickly turns around. "You will?"

Liechtenstein eagerly nods. "Yes. It's okay if I kiss people on the check or forehead, right?"

Prussia laughs. "Of course! You don't have to kiss anyone on the lips if you don't want to." He caught on to France's plan. With Liechtenstein on their side, they can guilt trip countries to paying at their kissing booth. She can take the more…difficult clients while they watch nearby as they laugh their asses off.

Prussia has in mind her first client. "Liechtenstein, it's your turn to make money."

* * *

England, Russia, South Korea, and China had found a flustered Japan lying on the floor in an empty room. Poor Japan is so embarrassed and out of it that he's allowing them to help into his seat. Shockingly, his personal space is set aside for now.

Japan says, "It was like my shojo manga. The popular students doing a kissing booth, except taken to an extreme." This is the Bad Touch Trio we're talking about. They don't do anything normal.

China pulls out his wok. "I'll protect you, aru. I won't let anyone touch you again."

South Korea pipes in, "And protect me too."

England takes charge. "This is our base. Under no circumstances are we going to let the enemies inside. We'll bring all the countries we find here."

A soft voice says, "I can help, too."

China yelps, "The ghost got in; what are we going to do."

Russia takes a seat in the only other chair in the room. There's a small "Oof" sound. Russia smiles. "I took care of it." That's one less problem to take care of. Looks like he doesn't have to deal with panicing countries

America kicks the door open. England glares at him. "Open the door like a normal person, you wanker."

America, with a pale face, says with fear laced in his voice, "I was gonna go to my car and get more burgers 'cause I'm hungry, but the front entrance wouldn't budge. We're trapped; there's no way out."

England narrows his eyes. "Did you try other doors and emergency exits."

America hurridly nods. "Yeah, dude. Even the windows are glued shut."

Russia takes out his pipe and is ready to swing it at the window. "We'll make our way out, da."

England quickly says, "Don't! We'll pay a huge fine if you do." Lately, the manager of the building is pissed off at the damage they've been doing. He decided to charge humongous fines because of it.

China irately says, "We have to find another way out when we have to leave."

* * *

Prussia snickers as he watches from a corner. Liechtenstein walks right up to Switzerland with bold strides. Switzerland sternly says, "I've been looking everywhere for you. We're late for the meeting."

Liechtenstein happily asks, "Will you give me a kiss, big brother?"

Switzerland blushes. "Why are you asking that?"

Liechtenstein innocently smiles. "I'm raising money for some charities and I need to raise money for it."

Switzerland pulls out some crisp bills. "Here, take it. Just don't do anything like that ever again."

Liechtenstein nods. She takes the money and stuffs it into her purse. She gestures for Switzerland to lean down. "I want to tell you something important."

Switzerland leans down. "What is it?"

Liechtenstein pecks his check. "Take you for always taking care of me, big brother."

Switzerland's blush comes back with full force. He quickly back away. He power walks away while rubbing his check. "Let's go." He mumbles under his breath, "You don't have to thank me like that. Flowers would have worked, too."

"Yes, dear brother."

Liechtenstein walks in the opposite direction. Prussia gives Lichtenstein a high-five. "Awesome work. You made us both proud."

France agrees. "Good job."

Prussia inwardly smirks. He can't wait to go after their other victims.

Furgal money scheme: **still in progress.**

* * *

**Petite fille- Little girl. **

**The Bad Touch Trio can be evil masterminds they put their minds to it. **

**It's going to get crazy in the next chapter...**

**There's a slight crossover in this chapter. Can you spot it? :) First person who says it before I post the next chapter gets to pick which character's scheme is next after this arc is over. You don't need to know about this person, since the series is so popular. His name is pretty well known.**

**I think I'm going to add more chapters to this arc because I don't want it to seem rushed. I never thought a scheme would ever surpass the two chapter length of The Imposter. XD Plus, I want to add in all the requests I've gotten along with the ones I already had planned. **

**Will England's eyebrows ever return to normal? What is Spain's job? Will our evil masterminds con everyone with Liechtenstein? Stay tuned for the next chapter of Frugal Money Schemes!**


	22. A New Member

**DeviousDragons ****was the first person to guess Harry Potter and requested Norway after this arc ends. :) Thanks for everyone else for guessing the reference as well. I wanted to make a reference I knew people would catch easily because the other references weren't so obvious.**

** 1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The golden rule: If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Liechtenstein spots Lithuania worriedly looking around. She walks up to him and asks, "Are you alright?"

Lithuania is startled. Lithuania's face is filled with worry. "Have you seen Latvia and Estonia? I can't find them anywhere."

She shakes her head. "No, I haven't."

Liechtenstein twiddles her fingers. "I know this is not a good time, but I'm doing a kissing booth to raise money for some charities. I was wondering if you want to be my second customer."

Lithuania smiles. "I'll do it." He searches his pockets and holds out some money. "Which charities are they, by the way?"

Liechtenstein pauses. Now that she thinks about it, France never gave her any specific names. He was pretty vague about it. He only mentioned 'charities in our countries.' (Assuming he means France and Germany.) It's a little suspicious. She'll ask them for more details later.

Liechtenstein pecks his check. She snatches the money from his hand. "Take you for your service." She takes her leave with haste.

Lithuania stutters, "W-Wait. You didn't answer my question."

France and Prussia are waiting for Liechtenstein to finish counting the 'charity' money in her purse. She doesn't need the mistletoe because who in their right mind would deny her? If she gets upset, Switzerland would go berserk and shoot their asses to next week.

A frustrated Germany and a humming Italy are walking down the hallway. Germany angrily says, "America ditched us." He sighs. "I might as well call off the meeting since everyone is too distracted from the chaos those idiots are causing." Prussia suppresses his snickers. An added bonus: the boring meeting is cancelled. He gets to go buy his sexy ride right after he's done with the kissing booth.

Italy humming comes to a stop. "Ve, I wonder where Romano is? He's supposed to give me tomatoes for my pasta sauce today." Stuck in a closet against his will, that's where. He's a little surprised Romano hasn't been found yet. Then again, France did stuff Romano's mouth with dirty socks. No one is going to hear his loud cursing because of it.

The lights flicker before the hallway is filled with darkness. A few minutes go by in silence. Surprisingly, Italy is quite. Too quite.

Italy screams, "I surrender! Please don't hurt me." Prussia feels a rush of air pass by him. The lights turn back on and he gets a glimpse of Italy as he turns down the hallway waving his white flag frantically. Prussia motions for Liechtensteinin Germany's direction.

He whispers, "You go for Germany. France and I will catch up with Italy." Liechtenstein nods. She seems to narrow her eyes a little. He's not sure what that look is for, but he doesn't care. She walks straight to a bewildered Germany. Prussia and France head in the direction Italy took off.

France says, "What do you think made Italy so spooked?"

Prussia waves it off. "It was nothing. Let's go find some more clients. We might not find Italy right away." They obviously lost sight of Italy. It's better not to waste time looking for him.

* * *

England, America, and Russia are roaming around for the missing countries. (And hopefully run into the Bad Touch Trio and put a stop to their mischief.) China and South Korea stayed behind at the base with Japan.

They stop in their tracks at the sound of sobbing. England pinpoints the noise to the door next to him. "On my signal-"

Russia, with wide eyes, says, "I recognize that sobbing." He tries to open the door, but it's jammed. He jingles the door knob in desperation.

England says, "I'll pick the lock-"

Russia holds out his pipe and makes a hole in the door. He swings it a few more times until the door is nearly destroyed. England gapes in horror. They're going to get a huge bill for this.

America whistles, "You break it, you buy it."

Russia rushes into the room and the other two countries follow him. England sees Ukraine gasping in shock at them. Belarus, with a dress that strangely resembles Hungary's dress, is lying on a couch.

Russia anxiously asks, "What happened?"

Ukraine cries, "It was awful. It went dark and-" She looks at him. Her eyes become glazed. "England, your eyebrows are so handsome." England slowly backs away. Ukraine is scaring him with the creepy smile on her face.

Ukraine comes to him and glides her fingers over his eyebrows. "So handsome."

America grabs her shoulders and shakes her. "What is wrong with you? Snap out of it!"

England shouts, "Do not manhandle a woman! I thought I taught you better than that."

Ukraine blinks. She looks confused. "What was I talking about again?" He wonders why his eyebrows are so distracting. Sure his eyebrows look like the average person's eyebrows, but it doesn't mean people should stare at it like it's an unnatural phenomenon. (Even if it is unusual for him to have thin eyebrows.)

Russia glares darkly at England. "Are you courting my sister? I do not approve of this."

England stutters, "I would never-"

Russia threateningly holds out his pipe. "You say she's not good enough for you?"

"Make up your mind already!"

"Please stop fighting. You'll wake up Belarus," says Ukraine.

America leans over Belarus. "Hey, what happened to her?" England analyzes her. Nothing seems to be wrong with her. She appears to be resting peacefully.

Ukraine remains silent for a few moments. "When the lights went out, Belarus complained about a foul smell. Then I heard a loud thud. When the lights came back on, Belarus was face first on the floor."

The room settles into a tense silence. Russia cruelly smiles. "The Bad Touch Trio will pay for scaring my sisters." England shudders. He's glad the Russian's rage is not directed at him. The way Russia is petting his pipe is scaring him.

Russia gently lifts Belarus from the couch. "I'll take Belarus and Ukraine back to base. You two continue the search, da?"

England doesn't disobey the orders. Russia doesn't look to be in a mood to attempt a compromise.

* * *

Prussia and France spy Denmark and Iceland in the cafeteria. Prussia snatches the mistletoe from France's hands.

Prussia sneaks behind Denmark. He keeps the mistletoe between Denmark and Iceland's heads. The mistletoe glows before freezing them. Prussia gives each of them a kiss on their checks. France snatches their wallets while laughing.

Denmark unfreezes first. "What is that thing?"

France proudly says, "It's our special mistletoe…." He goes on to talk about how it works and their kissing booth.

Iceland reaches for Prussia. "Give me back my wallet!" The Prussian pushes him back by placing his hand the Iceland's head. This is kind of fun to watch him struggle in vain for it. Iceland is not going to get his back anytime.

Prussia smirks. "Have any more money for me to steal?"

"Give it back!"

Denmark takes the mistletoe from Prussia's other hand. "I want to try it." Denmark moves the mistletoe between Prussia and Iceland. They become paralyzed.

Prussia struggles to move any part of his body. Hell, not even his pinky is moving. Denmark grins as he leans in Iceland's face. Denmark puckers his lips. "Give me a kiss." Iceland's eyes widen in horror. He tries to shout his protests as Denmark pecks his lips.

Denmark shoves his hands into Iceland's pocket and holds out spare change. "I knew you still had spare change from the soda machine."

Denmark looks coyly at Prussia. "You're next."

Denmark leans in teasingly. Prussia is kind of pissed. Denmark is using his own mistletoe against him. He glances out of the corner, desperately looking for France. _"Why isn't France helping me?"_

Prussia spots France hugging a struggling Iceland. The Frenchman is moving his lips at an incredible speed, trying to land a kiss. "You must have more spare change to donate to the needy."

Iceland dodges each attempt with the speed to match France's. "Get your hands off me!"

Prussia should have known France would be too busy to help. Denmark kisses him. Denmark steps back and pockets his wallet. "That's what you get for trying to steal from the king of Northern Europe."

France tosses a few coins in the air. "Is this all you have left, Iceland? I expected you to have more money than this." He shakes his head in shame.

Iceland angrily says, "That's because you guys robbed me!"

France's eyes brighten. "Denmark, we could use your skills at our kissing booth. With you by our side, no one can escape from us."

Prussia supposes this is a good idea. Sure, he's a little put out at being out tricked by Denmark, but his skills can help them in their money-making scheme. They're sure to rake in the cash with more members. The only problem will be splitting the money between everyone except Lichtenstein.

Denmark replies, "I'll join you guys." He smirks. "Let's bring some life into these dull countries' lives."

Prussia pats his back. "Welcome to our kissing booth."

* * *

The predators spot a nervous Italy walking through the hallway. They ditched Iceland in a closet somewhere. They didn't bother tying him up because they know he won't be able to escape.

The three members of the kissing booth block Italy's path. Italy smiles. "I found someone. Thank goodness. I was so scared-"

Prussia wraps an arm around Italy's shoulders. "Can I kiss you? I feel so lonely and unloved." Italy is going to be easy money. He doesn't even need to use the mistletoe for him.

Denmark pipes in, "Me too."

"And moi as well."

Italy says, "Ve, I can't right now. I'm looking for my fratello." Darn it. They're going to have to go to drastic measures.

France pulls Italy into a tight hug. "We want a kiss and your money."

Italy cries, "Why are you doing this to me, big brother France?"

Denmark wiggles the mistletoe over Italy's head. It stops him in mid scream. Italy's mouth is forced shut. France gives Italy a big kiss on the lips. Denmark leans in and kisses Italy's check. Prussia grins. "Group kiss." He kisses Italy's unoccupied check.

Prussia hears a cough. He breaks the kiss to see Liechtensteinstanding there with narrowed eyes.

Prussia remarks, "Hey, did you get some money from Germany."

Liechtenstein narrows her eyes. "You guys were using me."

Prussia feins a look of hurt. "What are you talking about? I would never do that to you." He fears Liechtenstein has already caught on. Prussia wanted to use her for a little longer. He didn't think she would catch on that fast.

"Germany explained everything. You're not donating money to charity."

Prussia holds out his hands. "Hand over the money. It's mine."

Liechtenstein holds the purse close to her body. "No, it's mine." Prussia, Denmark, and France get closer to Lichtenstein. She walks backwards.

France tries to hand her a rose. "How about we trade this rose for the money? It sounds like a better deal, non?"

Denmark grins. "It rightfully belongs to us. Now be a good little girl and hand over the money."

Liechtenstein drops to the ground. She lifts her arm over her face. "Switzerland, grown scary men are trying to rob me." A furious Switzerland storms into the room with his shot gun. A click alerts the countries that the safety lock is off.

Prussia stutters, "W-We weren't doing anything bad to her. She's lying."

The room falls into a deathly silence. Switzerland's glare makes Prussia shiver. All hell breaks loose when Switzerland goes on a shooting rampage.

The kissing booth members scramble away from Italy. They sprint down the hall, leaving the Italy behind.

Italy uses his Italian speed to run past them. "I didn't hurt her, ve!"

The lights turn off again. "What is with the lights?! This is not awesome!"

Frugal money scheme: **still in progress.**

* * *

**lyFangirl: ****Thanks. :) It took a lot of thinking outside the box to make each chapter. I didn't want it to seem obvious or predictable. I want to catch you guys off guard and laugh hard at their schemes.**

**DreamerAngel99: ****I decided to shy away from making pairings since the beginning of this fic. There are so many pairings fans either love or hate. Yup, I had to include the Weasly twins somehow. XD The mischief they would do if they got their hands on it….**


	23. Who the Hell is Messing with the Lights?

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the late update. My computer was overheating so bad that it randomly shuts off. :( I had to go get my computer fixed a few minutes after I posted the last chapter. I'm typing from my brother's laptop and, sadly, he doesn't have Microsoft Word. I've received bad news: my computer has several viruses. I gotta get a new anti-virus program. The one I have now is obviously useless. (That's what I get for being cheap and buying an anti-virus program for 10 bucks.) ****:( **

**However, today I discovered how to type directly on here without needing to upload a document into Doc Manager. :) I'll be using my brother's laptop until I get a new anti-virus program and scrap some money to pay for removing the viruses... (It had a dust problem. So I had to get it cleaned too.)**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together.**

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

******The golden rule: If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Spain cheerfully chats with a grumpy Romano as they walk down the hallway. "Aren't you glad I let you out of the closet, Roma?" After Spain left France and Prussia, he couldn't resist freeing Romano from the closet.

Romano huffs. He looks away from him, blushing slightly. "You took advantage of the situation, tomato bastard."

"It was only a kiss~" Okay, Spain couldn't resist charging a kiss for untying Romano from the ropes for four reasons. The first two reasons: he's doing a kissing booth and he needs money. He only got spare change from Romano, but hey, at least he got something. Reason three: it's no fair France got to kiss Romano first. He wants to kiss Romano too! For the last reason (and the main reason), he doesn't want his precious tomato to suffer in a closet all tied up and alone. He deserves company.

Romano's face turns a more vibrant red. He angrily points a finger at him. "That's not the point! You stole the rest of my money. I wanted to buy a soda because of all the crap you three put me through."

Spain smiles. "I'll buy you a soda if you want. We have time since I finished my mission."

Romano eyes him suspiciously. "What mission?"

"Nothing important." Spain's mission was to hide a special device on the roof. It's supposed to jam all phone communication in the building. It prevents the countries from alerting the police or other countries who didn't attend the meeting to rescue them. It also prevents them from communicating with the other countries trapped somewhere in the building. He eavesdropped on Germany and Italy's conversation before heading to rescue Romano from the dark closet. He learned about some countries going missing for some mysterious reason.

Romano stops walking. Spain follows the direction of his eyes to see a wallet.

Romano smirks as he picks up the wallet. He opens it to show some cash, credit cards, and Lithuania's ID. "Score." He stuffs the cash into his pocket. He tosses the wallet over his shoulder without a care in the world.

Spain scolds him. "You should return Lithuania's wallet. It doesn't belong to you."

Romano rolls his eyes. "If he didn't want it to be stolen, he shouldn't have left it where people can steal it."

The lights flicker off abruptly and darkness fills the hallway.

"Dammit, you broke the lights, didn't you Spain? It's your stupid mission to keep everyone in the dark while you do surprise attacks with your so-called kissing booth, isn't it?"

Spain replies, "No, that wasn't me." He wasn't ordered to mess around with the lights. It's not his fault the lighting is faulty. Romano brings up a good idea, though. _"Why didn't I think of that? Our kissing booth would have gone more smoothly." _

"Did you eat the potato bastard's food? Your breath smells like shit."

Spain brings his hand to his mouth and breathes on it. It smells minty fresh and kissable. No one wants to have horrible breath when they're running a kissing booth. It'll drive away the customers. "Nope, not me. I don't think Germany adds garlic to his food."

Spain feels a hand on his shoulder. He smiles brightly. "Roma, I knew you would want to hug me one day." His life long dream is coming true. Romano wants to hug him voluntarily. If only the lights are on and Hungary is nearby with her camera. He would love to have some pictures of this moment.

"I'm not touching you...and that's not your hand on my shoulder, is it?" Romano says in a creeped out voice.

Now that Spain thinks about it, the hand on his shoulder is a little too large to be Romano's hand. "Then whose hands is it?" The smell of garlic becomes overwhelming. The stench irritates his eyes, bringing a few tears to slide down his cheek s. Spain feels his body becoming weak. He falls to his knees and tries gasping for fresh air. He hears a thud next to him.

The lights turn back on to reveal Romano lying on his back. Spain's body drops to the floor. He doesn't have to crawl much to reach Romano. He weakly grips Romano's shoulders. He shakes is with his fading strength. "Wake up. This bad smell can't get the best of u-"

Spain stares with wide eyes as he looks up from Romano's face. "Wha-"

* * *

Prussia, France, and Denmark rest in a deserted hallway. With his back against the wall, Prussia slides down and says between breaths, "We got away."

Denmark says with a cheeky grin, "Switzerland must've changed his target and went after Italy. Must've been revenge for streaking through his lawn the other day in front of Lichtenstein."

Prussia snickers. "He has to still be pissed from that!" Prussia remembers the gossip. Switzerland was so angry he chased Italy way over the Swiss border. Lichtenstein's innocence had been destroyed after the incident.

France quips, "There's nothing wrong with being naked: it's mankind's most beautiful art."

Prussia briefly remembers about Spain. _"What's taking him so long? He should've come back by now." _He might not admit it, but he's worried about what happened to him. He possibly could have been caught and interrogated by the others.

Prussia chuckles. _"Or he made a pit stop at the cafeteria for more churros."_

"America, I think I heard those wankers over there."

"Let's get them, sidekick."

"For the last time, I'm not your bloody sidekick!"

The kissing booth members freeze. Prussia's eyes darts around and lands on the door in front of them. He quickly opens the door. He quietly says, "Let's hide in here and ambush them if they come in." The other two don't argue and dash into the room with him.

Prussia slams the door shut behind them. He takes in the room. It's a simple office with a desk. The large sofas to the left and right sides of the room provide the perfect cover.

Denmark jumps behind the beat-up brown sofa on the right side. Prussia hides behind the sofa on the other side of the room. France goes to the same hiding spot as the Prussian.

France whispers, "My client is England."

Prussia whispers back, "No way! I want to kiss him." He wants to see the look on stick-up-his-ass's face when he kisses him. The horrified look on his face will make this day perfect.

Prussia also needs to bring down England's ego down a few notches. It's too big for his liking.

"How do we know it's only those two? There could be other quiet ones with them," voices Denmark.

Their argument stops when footsteps pause outside the door. The door slams open to show America and England. The door remains open as they enter the room.

England mutters, "I heard them in here."

That's all that's said before Prussia and his crew strikes. Prussia and Denmark tackle America to the floor. America yelps at the unexpected force. The two countries struggle to keep America from escaping. Dealing with the American's super strength is very difficult. Denmark wraps his arms around America's legs. Prussia leans all his weight on the victim's stomach. Prussia takes out the mistletoe and shakes it over America's head. It glows with an evil purple aura.

America exclaims, "You'll never hold the hero down with tha-" He becomes paralyzed. He goes through all the freezing and silencing symptoms like all the other victims.

England yells, "Get off of him." He reaches for them, only to be glomped by France.

France and England roll on the ground, screaming at each other. France harshly flips England onto his back. One of France's legs are between England's legs. France uses his arms to hold England's shoulder's in place. He leans in with a smirk. "Give me a big kiss, black sheep."

France puckers his lips obnoxiously and purposely makes loud smooching sounds.

England slams his head to France's forehead. "Never, frog."

France leans back and holds his forehead. He cries, "I'll get you for that."

Prussia looks up from his kiss with America to shake his head in shame at France's pathetic attempt at kissing England. Prussia focuses back on America's pale face. He lifts his arm and delivers a neck chop.

America goes limp after the blow to the neck. Prussia gets up to see Denmark snatching America's wallet.

Denmark opens the wallet and does a fist pump. "We've struck gold. He's loaded with cash." That's a surprise. He was sure he wouldn't find much. Maybe some McDonald receipts or something. Prussia looks over Denmark's shoulder to see five hundred American dollars.

"A little help here."

Prussia comes over to the countries wrestling on the ground. The kissing booth money they've earned so far lays away from them. It's kept in a pouch shaped like Gilbird. Prussia figures it fell out of France's pocket during the skirmish. England glares at him. "How dare you abuse the powers of the cursed mistletoe. I'll turn you into a toad for this." He hopes England doesn't keep that promise. He likes his sexy self (and the ladies, too) just the way he is.

Prussia bluffs, "You can't defeat the awesome Prussia." He waves the mistletoe back and forth in England's face. The aura blocks his view of England's face for a few moments. When the aura disappears, England is paralyzed. The glare is still in place.

France happily says, "Thanks for the help, Prussia." France gives England a slobbery kiss. England's furry is plain on his face. His muffled screams are pretty loud when it's compared to the other countries screams when they were in the same state.

Prussia winces. "France! You're going too far."

England's glare seems to falter a little.

"There's no way I'm kissing him now," complains Prussia. There's no way in hell he wants to kiss him with France's saliva all over his lips. England's glare returns with a vengeance.

Denmark bends down and shakes his head. "His lips are un-kissable now." He pecks England's cheek . "His cheeks are still okay." The Dane reaches into England's pocket and steals the wallet. He takes out the money and stuffs it into his pocket.

Prussia quickly knocks out England when he notices the former pirate's hand twitching, showing signs of the mistletoe's affects breaking. Prussia brushes his hands on his pants. "I'll go get the wallet you dropped."

He stops when he sees Netherlands holding the Gilbird pouch. Netherlands' fingers skim through the money. "It's good enough."

Denmark points at him. "Hey, we earned that money. Give it back."

Netherlands doesn't hesitate. He runs away with the kissing booth money. France shouts, "Don't let him get away." Prussia, France, and Denmark chase after him. They leave two unconscious countries behind.

Prussia is not giving up the money without a fight. He knows the other two feels the same.

* * *

"...and that's why I'm stuck in this closet," Iceland explains to Norway, who is on the other side of the door. Iceland was explaining about the kissing booth to the trouble it's caused him. He doesn't understand why they locked him in this closet. From what he assumes from France's words, they only needed to do this to one country because they didn't want any witnesses telling the other countries about their kissing booth yet.

They seem to think the other countries are starting to catch on to their scheme. Denmark just had to insist on doing this as his iniation as a member of the kissing booth. Who does (messed up) iniations for a kissing booth anyway? That's just strange.

"I'll do it..."

Iceland perks up. "Good. It's dark and cramped in here." The closet he's stuck in is dark and small. Junk and janitor equipment are squashing his shoulders and back.

"...for a price."

Iceland sighs. He should've known it was too good to be true.

"Call me big brother."

Iceland hesitates. He thinks it over. Should he reject his offer and risk staying trapped in here until someone else comes by? He doesn't know how long he'll have to wait. He might be stuck here days until a human stumbles by. "Fine."

"...And a kiss too..."

"You're pushing it!" A kiss is asking for too much. He is so taking advantage of the situation.

"I want to make money too."

"...Fine. But only one kiss." One kiss might not be so bad if it means it'll get him out of here. Iceland wants to go home already. There's nothing Germany can say that will make him stay for the meeting. He dealed with enough crap today to last him a week.

"On the lips." Make it a year.

* * *

Prussia sighs in annoyance. He lost the thief and the others. He's lost them around some corner. He spots a lone figure, fading from reality, walking solemnly away. The Prussian grins.

Prussia waves to him. "Hey, come here." The blond-haired man stops. He looks around, confused. He points to himself and asks, "Are you talking to me?"

"You're the only one here."

The man looks elated. "You can see me?"

Prussia stands closely to him. "Of course I can, America imposter." This man looks an awful lot like America. Probably trying to sneak into the meeting.

"I'm Canada."

"Whatever, Canadia." Prussia uses the mistletoe to freeze the Canada. He gives him a quick peck on the lips and steals his wallet.

Canada blushes badly. He stutters, "W-What was that for!"

"It was nice doing business with you."

Canada pales and takes a few steps back. He points fearfully behind Prussia. "It's-"

Prussia laughs. "You can't fool me with that trick. No refunds." He freezes. He feels heavy breathing, with the stench of garlic, behind him.

He holds his noise and complains, "Dude, use some breath mints." This guy needs some serious breath mints. A truck load of them. It smells like someone loves their garlic too much.

Prussia's eyes widen in fear. "Holy shit."

Fugal money scheme: **still in progress.**

* * *

******Will our (anti)heroes ever get their kissing booth money back? Who knows? This fic is pretty messed up sometimes. You can't always assume you know how a scheme will end. **

******You can't have a frugal fic without Netherlands~**

******Edit: I went back and fixed the spelling errors. Thanks for pointing them out. I want to give a few hints at the identity of the garlic villain since no one has guessed right yet. **

******1. Judging by two countries reactions in this chapter, it gives a small hint on who the villain is. Hint: Only one of them seems to recognize the garlic villain but he doesn't finish his line. Pay attention to word choice. No matter how small, it's significant in figuring out who knows the identity of the garlic villain.**

******2. I had a request from a reviewer and I wanted to sneak the garlic villain in. I didn't want it to seem too obvious.**

******Let's see who can figure it out before the next chapter is out. **

******Purestrongpoem: Looks like someone is catching on to the hints. ;) **

******GremlinGirl:******** Glad you like it.** This fic is going to last for a long time. I haven't gone through all the countries and they can go again several times. It's a never-ending fic. 

**locainlove****: ****Thanks.****I kept musing in my mind what his reactions would be and what he would do. Denmark is not going to let someone rob him and get away with it. :)**


	24. The Garlic Villain's Identity

**Moo is right. It is Canada who recognized the garlic villain. Who is someone Canada would recognize by appearance, but not Prussia, Romano, and Spain?**

******Good guesses everyone. ****Moo is the closest because one of the guesses didn't involve a country. Thinking beyond the obvious choices. ;) ****Hammsters is right. Vampires and garlic do not mix. Romania didn't do it. **

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together. **

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

******The golden rule: If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Italy runs into the cafeteria and ducks behind the counter. He shakes as he hears loud stomps making its way through the empty room. He covers his mouth to prevent himself from making any noise. The footsteps pause on the other side of the counter. "Damn it, where'd he go?" shouts Switzerland. The footsteps echo as he leaves the room cursing.

Italy lets out a sigh in relief. "I thought he would get me for sure, ve." Earlier, he was waving his white flag as he ran that he surrendered and to please stop chasing him. It didn't work too well. His white flag has multiple holes and there's no possible way to repair it. Good thing he has more white flags.

Denmark, Prussia, and France got him in huge trouble. He has been trying to follow Japan's advice on staying on Switzerland's good side after the incident with Liechtenstein. (Asking Germany to hand deliver his pasta to Switzerland and keeping his distance from Liechtenstein.) He can remember it as if it was yesterday.

_Italy happily streaks across Switzerland's lawn. He feels the breeze on his skin as he runs on the freshly mowed grass. He hears a girly scream and stops his running. He sees a blushing Liechtenstein standing there in shock. Her hands are hovering over her mouth as she stares at him. _

_Italy cheerfully waves at Liechtenstein. "Do you want to join me in my run too, ve?"_

_Liechtenstein's eyes looks at him up and down. Her blush deepens and looks away. "N-No thank you. I'm okay."_

_"Come play with me, ve. We can run around in a meadow nearby and feel the wind on our bodies," insists Italy. He doesn't understand what's wrong with his proposal. It's fun to let your body be free from clothes in the outdoors. _

___Liechtenstein_ gulps. "Are you suggesting that I get n-naked too?"

_Switzerland bursts out of the house with his shot gun. "I heard that Italian's voice. Is he trespassing on my property again..." His voice falters when his eyes moves between __Liechtenstein_, who is blushing badly, and Italy.

_Italy stutters, "C-Ciao Switzerland." _

_The awkward silence is broken by Switzerland's rage. "How dare you destroy her innocence with your vile body! You mentally scared her for life." _

_"I-It wasn't that bad, big brother." _

_"He already corrupted you. Don't be swayed into looking at naked men. It's bad for you."_

_Italy took this chance to sneak away. Too bad his movements alerts Switzerland to his escape attempt. "Get back here. I'm not done with you yet."_

_The Italian ran away with an angry Swiss wielding a shot-gun and shooting like there's no tomorrow. _

Italy shudders. He's been very careful when walking on Switzerland's property. (And wearing clothes every time, too.) He remembers that he is searching for his lost older brother. All the drama sidetracked him from his search.

His stomach growling interrupts his thoughts. "I'll get a quick snack. Romano can wait a little longer." Before he left for the meeting, he brought a huge basket of garlic bread. He wanted to cook some pasta in the cafeteria with the tomatoes his brother is supposed to bring. The garlic bread Italy made tastes great with homemade pasta.

Italy searches for the basket. He looks behind boxes of food and counters. "I know I put it here somewhere." Italy hears a crash behind him. He turns around to see Denmark holding Netherlands to the ground. France is standing behind them with a smirk.

Denmark takes an item from Netherlands' outstretched hands. He stands on Netherlands' back in a heroic pose. He raises a fat pouch, which is strangely in the shape of Prussia's bird. "I got it. No one messes with the Kissing Booth Company and gets away with it."

France nods. "That's because no one is better at love than us."

Netherlands groans and attempts to get up. Denmark quickly crouches down and gives Netherlands a neck chop. "That'll take care of him for a bit." Netherlands body slumps back to the ground.

Italy was going to greet until he hears another voice.

"Where can I find good bread around here?"

He turns to see Romania sitting on a stool and munching on stuffed peppers. Italy, confused, asks, "When did you get here?" He's not sure when Romania got here. When he was looking around he didn't see the vampire anywhere, or the stool. He just...appeared.

Romania finishes his stuffed peppers with a satisfied gulp. "Ah, that hits the spot. Some bread would have been good, too." Romania smiles at Italy. To answer your question, I've been here for a short while."

Italy perks up. Perhaps Romania knows if someone possibly stole his garlic bread. "Ve, Have you seen my garlic bread? I can't find it."

Romania wrinkles his noise. "Those disgusting things? I gave it away to a sad woman. She needed some cheering up."

Italy tears up. "You almost threw away my food?" How cruel of him. Italy really wanted to eat it.

Romania nods his head. "I can't stand the smell of garlic. I didn't want it to contaminate the air." Italy almost forgot: vampires hate garlic.

France and Denmark huddle on the floor around Romania. Denmark waves his hand wildly. "Tell us the story. Is she hot? Single?" Italy wants to know about the pretty lady too, so He sits down next to France.

Romania rubs his chih in thought. "I guess she was pretty in her own way. I don't think she's interested in dating anybody except her true love."

The three countries lean their heads closer to Romania. Romania continues his story. "Well, I wanted to have some bread with my stuffed peppers before I went to the meeting so I went to the cafeteria. I found the foul garlic bread basket and I was about to toss it away when I saw her. She looked sad so I gave her the garlic bread for comfort food. I stuck around for a bit to talk to her. Turns out she travaled far away from home looking for him." Italy recalls Romania never showing up to the meeting at all. He thinks Romania spent the entire time comforting the woman.

Romania gets off his stool. "Anyway, long story short, she asked for some advice about men and I gave it to her."

Denmark raises his hand energetically. Romania acknowledges him. "Yes, Denmark?"

He grins. "What did you tell her?

"I told her to be herself. If he doesn't like her for who she is, I recommended to move on to a better man who will." Romania scratches his head. "She kept telling me his name but I always forgot it."

The Romanian smiles. "After our chat, we went our separate ways. I returned to the meeting room, but I didn't find anyone. So, I explored for a while when I noticed the doors were locked. After a I became hungry again, I went back to the cafeteria."

Romania winces. "I regret giving her the garlic bread. Her breath smells terrible. Her garlic breath is too strong." Italy stiffens. Before he was separated from Germany in the dark hallway, he felt a scary and tall figure standing behind him. There was also a very strong smell of garlic too. A low growl terrified him. He got so scared he ran away.

"It's the scary monster from the hallway, ve!"

* * *

Standing before Prussia is a tall creature covered in white fur. The only parts not covered by the fur is the hands, feet, and beady black eyes. The creature's large hands curls into fists.

Canada squeaks, "It's her, the abominable snowwoman."

Prussia looks at him in disbelief. "Are you serious? Those things are real? How do you know it's a she? It looks more like a man to me." Prussia never thought he'll encounter these elusive beasts. It didn't cross his mind at all. Prussia keeps his nose covered. He doesn't know how long he'll last if he has to smell her horrible breath. It's making him a little woozy.

The abominable snowwoman lets out a mighty roar. She lunges for Prussia with her large hands. Prussia ducks out of the way by hitting the ground. She flies over him and lands on the ground.

Canada sprints down the hallway. Prussia runs in the same direction. He catches up with Canada. "Don't leave me alone with her." That thing will tear him to shreds if he stuck around for too long.

The Canadian doesn't confirm or deny his accusation. Prussia hears the abominable snowwoman behind them, roaring loudly.

Prussia curses, "Shit, she's catching up with us."

Canada lightly glares. "Maybe if you didn't question her gender she wouldn't be chasing us."

"How am I supposed to know it's a she? She has no boobs." The abominable snowwoman growls become even louder.

"You made it worse!"

They take a corner at the next hallway. Prussia spots an open door. He harshly grabs Canada's arm. "In here." He shoves Canada into the room. Canada lets out a small noise of surprise. Prussia gets in and closes the door. Prussia puts his ear on the door. The growling seems to have gone silent. Prussia leans his head on the door. "Whew, we lost her."

"P-Prussia, look..."

Prussia turns around and gapes in shock. The room is a very large. It's a spare meeting room in case they trash the other one. The furniture is stacked up to the sides of the room. The most bizarre sight is the dog pile of unconscious countries in the middle room. Sweden, Estonia, Switzerland, and Austria are at the bottom of the dog pile. Finland, Lithuania, and Latvia are lying across the bottom countries legs. Spain is on top of Austria while Romano is on Sweden. Germany's back is strewn on Spain and Romano.

Prussia panics are slaps Germany's face repeatedly. "Wake up West. What happened?"

Germany's eyes open. He groans as he sits up. He runs his hands through his unkempt hair. "Where am I?"

"You're in the spare meeting room." Canada and Prussia help Germany to his feet. Luckily, since he's at the top of the dog pile, they didn't have much difficulty getting him out from the dog pile.

Prussia says with a small amount of worry showing in his voice, "I'll say it again, what happened to you?"

Germany rubs his head. "I was looking for Italy when the lights went out again. All I remember is the smell of garlic before being knocked out." The abominable snowwoman got to him. It's probably safe to say the other countries in this room were attacked and thrown in here by her.

The German narrows his eyes. "You were using Liechtenstein in your kissing booth scheme. That's low, even for you."

Prussia awkwardly laughs. "I can explain." That's right. Liechtenstein briefly mentioned Germany telling her the truth. Knowing Germany, he's to going to punish him with more rigorous training. As well as forcing him to clean his room in the basement.

Loud banging on the door stops further scolding. The growling intensifies as the door is broken down. The abominable snowwoman walks towards them slowly. Germany shouts, "What is that thing?" He reaches into his pocket but curses. "My gun is gone and so is my whip." She's pretty smart. She got rid of Germany's weapons. She might have done the same with the others.

Prussia, Canada, and Germany are backed up to the window. The abominable snowwoman reaches for Canada when someone shouts from the door, "What the bloody hell is that?"

Prussia peers around the abominable snowwoman to see England and America. The abominable snowwoman growls and faces the new intruders. She starts purring. She holds out her arms and walks to them.

America fumbles with his pockets. "I know my gun is in here somewhere."

The abominable snowwoman grabs England and pulls him into a big hug. England squirms. "Let me go you brute!"

More countries burst into the room. "We're here to save you guys," yells Denmark. France, Italy, and Romania huff as they lean against the wall.

Denmark glares at Romania. "You could've mentioned she is a monster."

Romania regains his breath. "You never asked."

The abominable snowwoman moves the angry Englishman to one arm. She uses her other hand to rub England's eyebrows. England's profanities become even louder.

Italy fearfully asks, "What is she saying Romania?"

Romania replies, "She says she thinks his eyebrows are attractive." The Romanian squints his eyes. He grins. "England, I thought you were better than that. Putting a charm on your eyebrows to attract woman is low for you."

England shouts, "I didn't know I charmed them. I thought I only froze my eyebrows' growth."

Prussia looks at Romania bewildered. _"Since when did Romania know how to communicate with abominable snowwomen?" _

France goes around the smitten abominable snowwoman. Italy, Romania, America, and Denmark follow. France grabs a hold of Canada's collar. "Are you going to let him steal your woman? No! We French do not let the English beat us when it comes to love. Now go over there and win her back from the evil clutches of the black sheep."

The countries stare at him with wide eyes. For once, nothing comes out of Prussia's mouth. It's too shocking. Canada never mentioned that his lover is the abominable snowwoman! He's holding out on them.

America laughs. "Why didn't you tell me you had a girlfriend?"

Canada blushes. He mumbles under his breath, "The one time I don't want to be noticed." Everyone ignores his comment.

France shoves Canada towards the abominable snowwoman. He pulls Canada's curl. "Do your mating call!" Canada squeaks loudly, "Maple."

The abominable snowwoman moves her love-struck eyes to Canada. She moves towards them with England still struggling in her arm. Everyone except France becomes nervous.

Germany whispers, "Don't attract her attention over here." The abominable snowwoman grabs Canada in her other arm. She smoothers him with her love. The abominable snowwoman looks to England. She seems conflicted on which country she likes more.

France smiles. "Problem solved."

Prussia yells, "No it's not! There are two hostages now."

The countries from the dog pile start waking up. There's arguing and shouts of getting off of them. Romano gets up with his arms crossed. "Stupid bastard knocked me out. At least I have Lithuania's wallet."

Prussia grins. "You have more money for the kissing booth?" How thoughtful of Romano to get more money. He must really want more kisses. He'll gladly give them to him.

Romano pales. "It's mine! Stay away from me."

Lithuania protests, "C-Can I have my wallet back please?"

Prussia leaps for Romano and tackles him to the ground. Romano screams and flails his arms wildly. Prussia uses the mistletoe to freeze Romano. "Your money is mine."

France takes the distraction as an opportunity to continue the kissing booth business. He glomps Germany. He smooches all over Germany's face. The German screams and tries to remove France off of him.

Norway strangles Denmark with his own tie. Denmark gasps, "When did you get here?" Norway only says, "I want money too." He kisses Denmark on the mouth.

Denmark backs away in shock. Norway narrows his eyes. "I'm not done."

Iceland stands there quietly. He was with Norway for a while and was unnoticed too. "Norway is persistent."

The Dane stutters, "S-Stop torturing me." Sweden and Finland separate the two. Finland asks, shocked, "What has gotten into you Norway!"

Norway plainly replies, "Greed."

Spain kisses Latvia on the cheek. He innocently smiles. "That'll be all of your money."

Latvia shakes like a leaf. "N-No."

"I'll take it by force."

Estonia and Lithuania stand in front of Latvia protectively. Lithuania looks at Spain with determination in his eyes. "We won't let you."

America turns to see Romania looking at him hungrily. America nervously laughs, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Romania lunges himself at America. The American lands on his back harshly. Romania grins. "All this running has made me hungry. Might as well make some money."

He leans his head to America's neck. He takes a bite and begins sucking his blood. America screams, "Stop!"

Romania stops his slurping. "Be quiet and stay still or I'll purposely give you a hicky. Have fun explaining how you got a vampire hicky." America shuts up.

The remaining countries are scrambling to escape from the room. They can't because the abominable snowwoman is blocking the entrance.

Italy is standing in a corner, unnoticed by everyone else. "I hope this day ends sooner."

* * *

Ukraine, Belarus, Japan, China, and South Korea exit through a back door Spain forgot to lock. China feels a cold chill. South Korea looks at him worriedly. "What's wrong?"

China looks back to the building. "I feel something awkward and embarrassing is happening in there, aru." The group doesn't want to go back. They don't want to face whoever attacked Belarus. The person who had the guts to do something as crazy as that must be Belarus-scary.

* * *

Prussia, Spain, France, and Denmark are at a local bar. They already split the money. In total, they made over eight hundred bucks. It was a very successful kissing booth.

Prussia laughs, "Russia had to pay for the damage." The manager reviewed the footage and, for some reason, determined that all the damage was Russia's fault. Russia only broke down a door, but he has to pay for the damage the abominable snowwoman caused. The manager has strange logic. (Then again, Denmark bribed the manager with some woman so they didn't get in trouble since their kissing booth caused a lot of trouble.)

Denmark snickers. "He sure did."

Prussia takes a gulp of his beer. "You know, we should get together and do another scheme like this again." Prussia's face darkens. "It was awesome." After the kissing booth incident, some of the countries who were kissed were too embarrassed to show their faces in public for a few days. Germany mentioned boosting security and adding a new rule that all countries are not allowed to wander around before the meeting starts. It was worth it.

Spain laughs. "Maybe."

Prussia's fingers clenches on the cursed mistletoe in his pocket. He didn't return it to England. He thinks it'll be useful in the future. The mistletoe had been forgotten by the other furious countries...for now.

Frugal money scheme: **Success**.

* * *

**This is the end of the Cursed Mistletoe arc. I hope you guys liked it. It's five chapters long. :D**

**Guest**** had**** requested a jealous abominable snowwoman. I wanted to include her in some way. So, I made her sneak around the building hunting down Canada while messing with the lights to give her cover. :) It doesn't look like she listened to Romania's advice.**

******One traditional Romanian food is stuffed peppers (It is also called "Mici " or "Mititei.") This food is generally served with bread. It explains why Romania was searching for bread.**

**I don't know about you guys, but I love to have garlic bread with my pasta even though I get garlic breath. The abominable snowwoman's garlic breath was so bad it made countries faint.**

**The official members of the Kissing Booth Company is Denmark, Spain, Prussia, and France. The unofficial members are Romania and Norway. :)**

**aquabless: Thanks for the tip. I'll go try it out on my computer. **


	25. The Night Shift

**I finally got my computer back. There was a lot of drama about the cost, extra stuff added to the computer, and other crap. It was a nightmare. I couldn't get on as often because my brother got tired of me hogging his laptop for way longer than I said I would until I got my computer back.**

**Since I was away from my computer for a long time, I wrote outlines for Norway, Russia, China, and Greece's chapters. I won't take that long updating because summer vacation is here. :)**

**DeviousDragons was the first person to guess the Harry Potter reference and requested Norway. Here it is and I hope everyone enjoys it.**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country, don't let them know until the end.**

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together. **

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The golden rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

The 7-Eleven continence store and gas station is gloomy and dark from the night sky. It's nearly empty except for the few Norwegians narrowing their eyes as they pump expensive gasoline into their cars.

Norway stands behind the cash register as he watches his elderly manager fumbling with his keys. The manager finds the silver key he is looking for. He nods in satisfaction. "Found my car keys."

The elderly manager allows a small smile to cross his face before it disappears. "I appreciate you taking the late night shift. All my employees refuse to work at night." The manager was so desperate for someone to work the night shift that Norway was hired on the spot. Norway was told he was the only person who applied for this time slot.

Norway can understand why no one wants to work the late shift. Lately, this specific 7-Eleven has been targeted by thieves and other shady characters. The reason is because of the lack of security in the nighttime.

Norway glances out of the corner of his eye at a security camera on the ceiling. A large yellow sign next to it says "You're on camera." All the locals know that these so-called security cameras are fake. It's merely plastic toys meant to make potential thieves think twice about robbing the place. It's not very effective.

Also, a lack of security guards and so few employees for the night shift. (He recalls the manager grumbling something about an incompetent security guard who refuses to work at the night.) In fact, Norway is the only employee taking this shift. He's going to be alone with the customers.

Norway stays silent as the manager continues. "I'll be back in the morning to check if you're still here." Translation: if he doesn't chicken out and survives the night alone. The manager says goodbye and exits the store.

Norway is lost in his thoughts as he takes the pouch tied on a chain around his neck. He gingerly opens it to reveal broken shards of a golden watch. A week ago, a little girl was being bullied in a park. Wicked teenagers destroyed the girl's treasure with a sledge-hammer. They wacked the golden watch so badly that it's broken beyond repair. The girl ran away in tears, leaving what remained of the golden watch behind.

He clenches the pouch in his hands. He did some research and discovered that the watch was a family world war two heirloom which used to belong to the girl's grandfather who died in the war. Norway felt it was up to him to fix the golden watch. He can easily repair it with a potion. He just needs some money to buy the remaining ingredients. He used the money from Denmark and Iceland's generous donations from the kissing booth. The pay for the night shift will easily cover the cost for the ingredients.

Norway closes the pouch and hides it under his shirt. He takes up the task of organizing the candy bars next to the cash register. He stacks the candy bars into a neat pyramid. "There, it looks decent enough."

Norway had not told anyone about what he's doing. Not even the Nordics. He doesn't want to make a huge fuss. He knows they would go through a lot of drama scraping up the money. (Denmark would probably go track down the bullies and beat them into submission. That'll cause a lot of unnecessary trouble.) So, to cover up his sudden interest in money, he claims it's greed that's getting the best of him. He's not sure how long he can fool Sweden, though. He thinks the Swede is catching on about his lie by the looks he's giving him.

It doesn't matter. The situation is under control. He doesn't need any help. He can help his own citizen by himself. He just needs to finish his shift and he'll be out of here in no time. "Only idiots and unaware foreigners shop here at night." It's going to be an easy job tonight. He can handle any thieves that come his way. He's prepared, after all.

A blonde haired man with a cowlick sticking out of his hair walks in with confidence in his strides. The man is none other than America. The American slams his hand on the counter. "Give me three Norwegian lotto tickets. I thought I should try my luck while I'm here-"

America blinks and grins. "What are you doing at a place like this Norway?" Just what Norway needs: someone who asks too many questions and is annoying in general. He's a little nervous about America being here. If a thief barges in here with him around, then surely America will try to be a 'hero' and nab the 'villain.' He'll wreck the place and he'll be fired with no pay if a connection is made between him and America.

Norway's eyes skim over the patch on America's neck barely peaking from his bomber jacket. It's the perfect conversation topic changer. "What happened to your neck, America?"

America sheepishly laughs as he lowers his bomber jacket's collar to show a clear view of the white patch. "You mean this thing? Romania gave me a vampire hicky for struggling too much while he was feeding on me." America removes the patch. There are two medium-sized holes with yellow bruising around it.

America allows Norway to see it for a few moments before putting the patch back on. "I don't understand why my citizens fantasize about being bitten by a vampire. It's freaking painful, not romantic at all. Vampires are aggressive when they're hungry." America rubs his injured neck awkwardly.

Norway normally doesn't think it's necessary to wear patches on bruises, but this is the only exception. He would feel some embarrassment too if he had to walk around with two noticeable holes in his neck. Denmark wouldn't stop harassing him about it.

Norway places three lotto tickets on the counter. "Here are the lotto tickets you wanted. Can I ask why the sudden interest in the lottery?" Norway plans on getting America to talk until he walks out of the store. It'll keep him distracted from asking questions.

America grins. "I play whenever I have spare change. One time I got lucky and won five hundred bucks the other day." America's smile slips off his face. "But I lost it at the kissing booth. I've never gotten it back."

America scratches the patch on his neck. "You know what? I'll go buy some ice or something cold for the bruise." America heads to the back of the store on his quest for ice.

Norway lets out a sigh of relief when America is out of hearing range. He thought America would never leave. The store's beeping alerts him of a new customer. In walks Denmark with a bottle of beer in his hand as he drunkenly sways his way to the counter.

Denmark has a cheeky grin on his face. "Where's the beer around this place, Norge? I got the beer money right here." Denmark pulls out a large wad of cash from his pocket. He waves it around like it's the most important thing in the world.

Denmark seems unconcerned or too drunk to care why Norway is running the cash register. Norway calmly says, "It's in the back."

America comes back with a handful of ice cream. "I didn't find any ice packs so I thought-" He pauses when his eyes shifts from Norway to Denmark. The cheerful smile on America's face slips into an angry frown. "I want a refund. Now."

Denmark waves his hands and stumbles back. Denmark appears to get a little sober. "Is this about the kissing booth? I'm sorry, we don't do refunds."

America lunges for Denmark. "Give me my lotto money back, you thieves!" Denmark gets out of the way and heads for the aisles. America chases after him. Norway ignores their commotion. He mutters under his breath, "They're so childish over money."

Norway hears a beep and the door opening to reveal Mr. Puffin flying into the store.

Mr. Puffin circles around the shelves until he spots something. He lands and picks up a bag of licorice with his feet. He squawks, "I'm eating for free tonight, losers!" He didn't expect to have an animal rob him on his shift. Norway's friends haven't arrived yet, so he has to take matters into his own hands.

Norway grabs the broom lying on the floor. He keeps a firm grip on it and leaps over the counter. He swings the broom in the air. "Drop it or you'll regret it." That bird is probably working with Iceland in getting free food. Finland's lectures didn't convince Norway to give back the money he stole from Iceland. The Icelandic might or might not be low on spending money for his favorite snacks.

Mr. Puffin flies higher into the air to get out of Norway's range. He puffs up his chest with pride. "You have to catch me first." Norway chases Mr. Puffin around the store, beating the air with the broom. He dodges America and Denmark whenever they cross paths.

Norway forces Mr. Puffin into the back corner of the store where the freezers are at. Mr. Puffin sweats as Norway pokes his chest with the broom. "I have you now. Surrender the licorice."

He hears Denmark yelling, "Oh shit!" and America screaming, "Duck and cover." He glances to see them ducking in separate aisles. He's confused for a bit.

"_What are those idiots doing?" _

His question is quickly answered by a car slamming through the wall ferociously. Norway flings himself on the ground. He sees debris flying everywhere and destroyed merchandise. The aisles closest to the entrance are completely annihilated. A white-haired man coughs as he peaks his head out of the driver's window. "Dammit it, the accelerator nearly killed me."

Denmark's head pops out of the debris of chips. "I'm here Prussia. Let's get some beer somewhere else." Denmark wobbles his way to the passenger side. He makes it inside when America bursts out of some debris in the separate aisle.

America jabs a finger in Prussia's direction. "I want my refund Prussia!"

Denmark slams the passenger side door and yells, "Move your ass Prussia."

Prussia backs the car back and drives off with America chasing after them. Mr. Puffin flies out through the ruined entrance. "You can't catch me!"

Norway stands up and sighs at the mess. He's going to tell the manager some idiot, who he didn't get a good look at, did this. And no, he didn't get a good look at the license plate either. He was too much in shock to do anything.

A man with a clear plastic bag on his head and a tiny knife in his hand storms into the 7-Eleven. "Freeze. Give me the money and no one will get hurt." Norway can't take this thief seriously. Who in their right mind would rob a store with that tiny knife? He has the worst disguise, too. A face mask of an infamous politician would work better.

Norway sees his troll friend (finally) coming into the store. The troll drags his club as he gets behind the wannabe thief. The troll lifts the club and holds it to the back of the man's head. He uses his other hand to rip the knife from his hand. The man stiffens.

Norway holds out his hand and dully says, "Hand over all the money you have or my friend here will use you for target practice." Since there are no security guards during his shift, he's using his troll friend as one. Trolls make great security guards.

The pathetic thief stutters, "Y-You're an employee, you c-can't rob me. That's m-my job." The troll jabs the man's head with the club a few times.

Norway smirks. "I can defy the rules of the robber and victim." He might not have gotten money from the idiots and Mr. Puffin, but he got plenty of it from this thief.

* * *

Norway drops off a box outside a bedroom window. He peers in and sees a little girl sitting glumly at her desk. Norway knocks on the window. He ducks and runs away from the scene.

The little girl opens the window and sees a box. She opens it to see her golden watch as good as new. She opens it to see the ticking clock on the right. On the left, is a black and white picture of her grandfather as a young soldier posing with a few other men.

She looks into the distance to see a man in a Santa suit running off into the distance. She furrows her brows in confusion. "It's not even Christmas time yet."

She smiles and holds the watch to her heart. "Thank you anyway, Santa."

_Somewhere in the Nordic house..._

Finland stares at his empty closet. He looks to Sweden. "Do you know where my Santa suit is, Sweden?"

Sweden shakes his head no.

Frugal money scheme: **Success**.

* * *

**Rule revision: ****If you're raising money to help a fellow country (or a human), don't let them know until the end. However, it's an option to not let them know about your identity when you do a good deed.**

**Norway has the most expensive gasoline.**

**In Norway, there are 7-Eleven convince stores.**

**There was a scandal about Honda car accelerators starting unintentionally and creating accidents. The certain model of Honda cars associated with this problem was recalled.**

**Yes, I couldn't resist putting Norway into a Santa suit. I think he'll look good in one. :)**


	26. Car Crash Scams

**It's time for Russia's second scheme. I've been plotting the idea for this chapter for a while. I only got around to writing it down recently because of my computer drama. **

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country (or a human), don't let them know until the end. However, it's an option not to let them know about the good deed at all. **

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together. **

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The golden rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Russia lurks behind a patch of bushes, watching his big sister Ukraine work in the fields. Every time she straightens her back after bending down to plant the seeds, her breasts makes a 'boing' sound. Ukraine swipes the sweat from her forehead. "I wish I can take a break soon. My back hurts so much."

The Russian has been hiding behind the bushes for five minutes, waiting for the perfect opportunity to sneak up behind Ukraine to ask her for the money she owes for the oil bills.

Ukraine's back is to him now as she bends down again to plant more seeds. Russia stands up to make his move, but his phone vibrating in his pocket stops him. He takes out his phone and answers, "Hello? Who is this?"

"_Where's the rest of my money?" _

Russia keeps the false smile on his face. He does his best not to allow the irritation he's feeling to seep into his voice. "I already paid the damage for the door."

"_I'm talking about the damage of the wiring in the building. The lighting is faulty now." _Russia is seriously tired of the manager of the building where the last world conference was held at. He keeps harassing him and leaving countless voicemails. He's demanding that he pays all the damage caused from the kissing booth/abominable snowwoman incident. Russia refuses. He's only paying for the damage he caused.

He's already low on money and he's not going to pay for someone else's mess. He needs a new source of income pretty soon because there's no way he's running a circus ever again. He's still mentally scared for life from the mutant animals. "That is not my fault. I'm only paying for the damage I've caused."

The other line is silent for a few moments. _"Mark my words, I'll call again and collect my money soon." _

Russia shuts his phone. He looks to see that Ukraine has spotted him. She runs away crying, "I'm so sorry Russia! I don't have the money yet." He sighs as he watches Ukraine getting into her car. She drives away and nearly hits a random man on the road. The man shakes his fist at her as she apologizes over the roar of her car.

A bright idea strikes Russia. If he wants to make money, why not do what his citizens do? His lips fall into a frown. "It won't work on my own citizens. They're too clever."

A smile lights up his face. There's a meeting being held in his country this week. Knowing the countries, some of them will arrive a few days early to settle into their hotel rooms. A few of them have a predictable schedule of going the same route by car to their hotel. "They'll never see it coming, da."

* * *

Its night-time as China weaves his car around other cars on a busy street in Russia. He's on his way to the hotel he's staying at for the meeting. He stops the car at a red light. He grimaces. "Why did I make a turn here, aru? The traffic is terrible." The drivers honk at him and scream several profanities. They add to China's stress. He can't wait to get out of here. He wants to go to his hotel room and eat his dumplings.

The light turns green, finally. He mumbles, "I'm getting out of here, aru." China's car starts again and as he gets into lane on the other side, a familiar panda runs in front of him. His eyes widen and he hits the break with haste. China reacted too late. The hood of his car slams into the panda's side. The panda is sent flying a couple of feet and lands lifelessly on the sidewalk.

China's hands grips the wheel tightly. His knuckles turn white from the pressure. China gasps, "I'm coming, aru!" He gets out of his car and slams the door shut as he runs to the panda's side. The panda is lying on his back, staring dully at the moon. His right paw rests on his stomach. A crowd starts forming around Panda and cooing words of comfort.

China frantically gets on his knees. He grasps the panda's right paw. He cries, "Panda, hang on. Don't die on me!" Panda has been there for him when he rants about how certain nations (France, America, and Germany) stress him out. China always hugs him whenever he needs a hug. Panda doesn't deserve being run over by a car.

Panda doesn't say anything. His uses his other paw to point up. China looks over his shoulder. The crowd has completely formed a circle around them. He has difficulty seeing what Panda is staring at. "What are you looking at, aru?"

Panda points weakly at the object of his attention again. He croaks, "The light. It's calling me." China looks above the shoulders of the crowd. He follows the direction of Panda's finger to see him pointing at a street lamp. The yellow light is very bright. It's so bright, it's attracting moths.

China slaps Panda's cheeks repeatedly. "Don't go towards the light, aru. Live and stay with me! You haven't restored the panda population yet." It's going to be his fault that there's one less panda all because of his reckless driving. No more cute panda babies because of him! The crowd murmurs words of spite, cursing him for hurting the panda species.

Panda grabs China's arm. "Well, there is one thing that'll keep me on earth."

China nods eagerly. "Anything you want, aru. Name it."

Panda whispers, "Money will help me."

China blinks. "Money? Why, aru?" He has some money saved after taking his share of America's paycheck. He didn't use all of the money yet. He doesn't understand what Panda wants money for.

Panda tilts his head to the side. "I have a wife and kids to support. I want the money to help them in case I don't make it." Panda reaches for the street lamp again. "It's so pretty."

China hugs Panda tightly. "Don't worry, I'll give you some money." He didn't know Panda has a family. To think he could've ruined a family by his selfish thoughts.

* * *

_The next day….._

It's morning on the empty highway. Lithuania is driving on this serene day. No worries and scary Russia to make him nervous or fear for Latvia's height. He looks at the other two Baltic States. Latvia is in the passenger seat and Estonia typing away on his laptop in the back seat. Latvia plays with the radio knob, changing stations. He looks up to Lithuania. "When are you going to teach me how to drive?"

Lithuania lightly laughs. "I'll teach you later."

Latvia glumly rubs his hair. "Is it because my legs are not long enough to reach the pedals?" The atmosphere darkens slightly. The painful reminder of Russia squeezing Latvia penetrates Lithuania's mind. He winces as the memory shows Latvia shrinking a few inches.

He nervously says, "Of course not. It's-"

Latvia screams and points to the windshield. "Ahh!"

Lithuania gasps. He manages to see Russia jumping onto the hood of the car. He screams as the car swerves to the left and right. The mighty Russian keeps a firm grip on the sides of the hood with his arms. Russia smiles. "Hello comrades. Nice day, da?"

Latvia whimpers and repetitively jabs the windshield wipers button. "The bugs in Russia look like Russia himself!" The windshield wipers continually whack Russia's head. He mutters his infamous 'kolkolkols.' His dark purple aura grows darker with each hit.

Estonia shouts, "Hit the brakes!" No one pays attention to him.

Lithuania smacks Latvia's hand from the button. He stutters, "That's because it's Russia himself, not a bug!" Latvia is making Russia really mad. As long as he doesn't do anything else to make the situation even worse, then maybe they have a chance to sooth Russia's anger.

Latvia hits another button multiple times. "Wash the scary aura away!" Water squirts out on Russia's face. It does nothing to the aura, except make it grow even bigger. The aura is so big and dark, Lithuania can't see where's he's driving. He joins and screams loudly with Latvia.

Estonia shouts for the second time, "For the love of- hit the brakes, Lithuania!"

Lithuania's logic finally comes back to him. He slams on the brakes. The force of the sudden stop causes Russia to fly off with the car hood in his hands. Russia flips in the air and falls on the road while keeping a firm grip on the car hood.

The Baltic States burst out of the car and gather around Russia. Lithuania falls to his knees. "My car hood!"

He watches as Russia stands up uninjured from the fall. Russia smiles at them. "You hit me. You must pay for the damages, da." Lithuania stands up wearily. He slowly backs away from Russia. He hopes Russia isn't mad at him for showing more concern for his car hood than the Russian's possible injuries.

Latvia frowns. "No we don't. You did the stupid thing and ran in front of the car. You also ripped off the car hood, too. You should pay the damages. You don't look hurt anyway." Lithuania slaps his hand on Latvia's mouth. He glances to Russia to see the cruel and childish smile on his face.

Estonia smirks. "For once, I agree with Latvia." Lithuania gapes in horror. Estonia of all people should know never to encourage Latvia when he makes blunt comments to Russia. He questions whether Estonia injured his head when the Lithuanian hit the brakes.

Estonia proudly gestures to Lithuania's car. "Do you see the dashboard camera in the front?" A device is hanging from the rearview mirror. A light on the camera is blinking red. "I did my research. If we have to go to court, we have proof you tried to scam us."

The smile doesn't slip off Russia's face. The Russian calmly walks to Lithuania's car. With his back to them, he takes out the pipe from his coat. He slams the pipe against the windshield. It makes a giant hole as the glass flies everywhere. Russia rips the dashboard camera along with the rearview mirror. Russia drops it on the ground and whacks it until it's an unrecognizable mess.

Russia hides his pipe back into his coat. He faces them again. He points to the hole in the windshield. "There is where I hit my head, da."

Lithuania pulls his hair. "Y-You just-"

Russia's dark aura flares. "Are you calling me a liar?"

Estonia slaps his hand on Latvia's mouth before he blurts something out to make the situation even worse. The Baltic States get into a huddle and cower together.

"I won't take you to court….."

The Baltic States sigh in relief.

"….if you give me money."

* * *

Russia sits in his favorite chair as he counts the money he has earned today. It's been a very successful day for him. There were some rough spots in the scams, but he was able to improvise pretty well.

A knock on the door interrupts him. "Who could that be? I don't recall having visitors coming over today." He goes to the door and opens it to see the building manager.

The manager hugs himself against the bitter cold. He stutters, "I want my money."

Russia cruelly smiles at him. This man has made his patience worn thin. He put up with his complaining long enough. He pulls out his pipe from his coat. He pets it affectionately. "I am tired of you calling me a lot about damages I didn't do. You either never bother me again, or I'll end your teeth chattering before General Winter does."

The manager runs away screaming like a little girl. Russia closes the door and goes back to counting the money. His mind briefly flashes to Ukraine working hard in the fields. He'll do something nice for her.

* * *

Ukraine opens her door to see a woman with a folded table under one arm standing there. The woman says, "I'm here for your massage appointment."

Ukraine waves her hands. "I'm sorry, you must have the wrong house."

"Nonsense. He specifically said this house. The massage is already paid for."

Ukraine allows the woman into her house. She wonders who could've done this for her. A smile crosses her face. "Could it be you, Russia? Are you looking out for me?" Ukraine always looked out for Russia when he was a child. Now the roles are reversed. He's the one looking out for her now.

Ukraine claps her hands. "I'm not letting a free massage go to waste~"

Frugal money scheme: **Success**.

* * *

**In Russia, there's a lot of car crash scams going on. It's gotten so bad that the judge's first question to the defendant is, "Do you have a dashboard camera and did it record the incident?" If you ever go to Russia, invest in at least a decent dashboard camera. It can save you from lawsuits from these scammers. **

**The crazy things the Russians' dashboard cameras in their cars record… Just Google it or check out it on YouTube and you'll see what I mean.**

**I'll explain how Russia didn't get any injuries in each car crash scam, in case you're wondering about it. It wasn't from Russia's point of view so you don't know how he did it. For China's case, he was wearing protective padding under the panda. It helped cushion his fall. **

**For the Baltic States, there's this technique the scammers do. They get in front of the car and jump onto the car hood. If done wrong, it looks obvious.**

**Guest: Yup, it's pretty much impossible to avoid the other countries even for one night. They always somehow find a way to find the others. :)**

**DeviousDragons:**** You're welcome.**** :D I've found some pictures of Norway dressed in a Santa suit and he looks awesome.**

**I'm glad everyone enjoyed Norway's good deed. Sometimes, you need to see from a countries point of view to really know what their motivation for making money is. *Hint hint* ;)**


	27. Gambling and Cricket Fights

**I'm sorry I took so long to update. My friends wanted to hang out during summer vacation and I just had to join them. It was a blast. :)**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country (or a human), don't let them know until the end. However, it's an option not to let them know about the good deed at all. **

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together. **

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The golden rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

In an empty grassy area in China, two mighty warriors train for the challenges one of them will face down the road. A man with a black ponytail does some martial arts stances with a long bamboo stick. He stands with his arms outstretched, the bamboo stick in a horizontal position. With a determined look on his face, he says, "Cri-Kee, you must stand firm like an oak, aru."

On a stump a few feet from China is a brown cricket. It mimics China with its own tiny stick. The cricket makes chirping sounds.

China nods. "I don't know what you're saying, but let's take a break." He takes a basket next to the stump. He reaches in and grabs a bottle of water. He drinks it while Cri-Kee pulls out a pair of sunglasses. It lies down and sunbathes under the hot sun.

China lets out sigh of satisfaction. "I feel refreshed, aru." The Chinese man used to think using animals in money making schemes brought nothing but misfortune. That was until he saw South Korea successfully earn money with a talking elephant. (Although there was some trouble, it was quickly taken care of.) China realized if he's careful with his scheme, he can actually succeed this time.

China grumbles, "At least I don't have to deal with Stephen this time." Stephen is still alive. He still has a grudge, though. China has tried to reconcile with him with his fortune cookies. But, Stephen is still bitter over the opium dealer and killer thing.

Cri-Kee tosses its sunglasses to the side. It starts hopping around the stump while making chirping noises. China cups his hands in front of the stump. "Are you ready for your first match, aru?" The cricket's chirping grows louder. It hops onto China's hands.

"I'll assume that's a yes."

* * *

In a rural Chinatown, grown men cheer as they gather around a wooden box. A few men slam money onto the table next to the box and hoot who they're rooting for. An old man has a poker face when he addresses the crowd. "Who is the next challenger?"

The wind blows hard as a figure in a dusty brown cloak appears. China walks towards them with a determined look on his face. Cri-Kee, who is on his shoulder, jumps up and down in anticipation. The crowd parts for him to pass through.

China stops in front of the wooden box. On it is a plastic oval-shaped arena. In the center is a divider to separate the two opponents. The right side of the divider has a larger than average and fierce-looking cricket hopping around. It doesn't bother to hop out of the arena.

"I choose you, Cri-Kee." The cricket leaps into the empty side of the arena. China smirks and puts a bag of coins on the wooden box. "I wager all the money in that bag. Cri-Kee is going to win." He should have done cricket fighting in the first place instead of wasting his time with the Extreme Cheapskates show. This is something he is familiar with.

He has trained Cri-Kee for this for a week. China had decided to gamble in cricket fights. He has a better chance at winning in this kind of gambling than the other ones. He just needs the best fighting cricket and he can bring in a large sum of money. It's pretty simple and easy with a cricket that is gifted in martial arts. He has slight suspicion Cri-Kee already knew how to do martial arts in the first place.

Cricket fighting may sound strange to foreigners, but it's pretty normal around here. It's usually held in big cities, but he found a small cricket fighting event in this small village. He wants to give Cri-Kee some fighting experience in the arena before he goes after the best of the best in the cities. Once there, the gambling will be intense and the money will come pouring in.

The old man nods. "I see you've finally come." He glances back to the paper in his hands. "Luckily, your cricket's opponent is in the same weight class."

The elderly man takes out a straw stick from his sleeve. He pokes the whiskers on the legs of the two crickets. He does this for a minute or two with repetition. The crickets are getting agitated with each jab. While this is happening, the men excitedly place their bets on the crickets.

He hides the straw stick back into his sleeve after he determines the crickets are ready to fight. He holds up his hand to get the crowd's attention. "On the left side is Cri-Kee." Some of the men cheer. "On the other side is Buffy the Cricket Slayer." The hooting becomes louder. China huffs. He believes Cri-Kee is better than that wannabe.

The referee carefully lifts the divider. China holds his breath in anticipation. A moments pass before the two crickets viciously attack each other. Buffy the Cricket Slayer aims a kick at Cri-Kee's face. It ducks its head and sweeps its opponents feet.

Buffy the Cricket Slayer is launched straight out of arena and into a barrel of water. A buff man runs to the barrel and scopes out the cricket. He cries as he performs CPR on Buffy the Cricket Slayer. Cri-Kee hops around his side for its victory dance.

The old man slips the divider back into place.

China smirks. "Who's next?"

Three men step forward. They dump the crickets on the right side of the divider. A man who appears to be the leader slams a big pouch on the table. "We wager all the money in here that we'll win. Our clan has practiced cricket fighting for generations and we're not letting some rookie destroy our pride!" The other two clan members give cheers of agreement.

China chuckles at their foolish behavior. He has experience with cricket fights since its creation during the Tang Dynasty. If anyone has the most knowledge on this subject, it's him. No one alive can defeat him at what used to be his country's popular pastime.

The leader's face turns red. "We'll see who's laughing when their wallet is dry." China, the clan members, and the crowd turn to the referee.

The referee says, "Three against one is unfair. Also,-" The old man checks his paper. "Two of the clan's crickets are not in the same weight class as Cri-Kee-"

China waves his sleeves. "It's alright. Cri-Kee can handle them." He has faith in Cri-Kee's skills. No cricket can defeat it. He trained his pupil himself.

The old man sighs. "This doesn't usually happen, but I guess I'll allow it this time." The crowd gives shouts of approval. The crowd tosses coins and pouches onto the gambling table. The clansmen place their crickets on their side of the divider.

The referee repeats the straw stick process. Once the crickets are aggressive enough, he stops. "On the right is Cri-Kee." People hoot louder than the first time Cri-Kee was in the arena. "On the left is Cricket Mustang, Jiminy _Cricket,_ and Cricketmon." China sighs at the unoriginal names. Even Buffy the Cricket Slayer sounds better.

The referee lifts the divider and all hell breaks loose. The trio of crickets charge at Cri-Kee while it patiently sits there with a dark gleam in its eyes. Cricket Mustang and Jiminy _Cricket_ gets on Cri-Kee's sides at ready their legs. Cricketmon goes head on at Cri-Kee.

Cri-Kee hops into the air when Cricketmon is close enough. Cricketmon is in the middle of the other two's kicks. Cricketmon is knocked unconscious from the blows. Cri-Kee comes up behind the other two crickets and kicks them out of the arena.

China smirks at his easy victory. The clansmen grab their prized crickets and sob. China snags the money from the gambling table. "Who's next, aru?"

* * *

China is in a hotel in Beijing hosting a cricket fighting tournament. Apparently word spread quickly about him and Cri-Kee. He already has a reputation as having one of the top cricket fighters in all of China. Every time someone mentions his new-found reputation, they stoke his ego.

China sits in his chair in front of the arena on Cri-Kee's side. The arena is similar to the one in the rural village. Only this arena has red and gold fabric on the outside. His flag is in the center of the arena. Cri-Kee yawns lazily at the easy opponents.

China grins as he pats the bag next to his seat. Inside it, it has all the money he's won from his gambling and prize money from other smaller matches. Cri-Kee didn't fight all the time. So, when he wasn't in a match China would bet on other crickets. He won and lost money on his choices, but in the end he has a nice amount of money.

China attention is taken by the young man who takes a seat across from him. His eyes widen as he takes in his new opponent. "What are you doing here in China, aru?" In front of him is Hong Kong. He is seated with a small cage on his lap. China is confounded on Hong Kong's appearance. He doesn't understand why Hong Kong has developed a sudden interest in cricket fights.

Hong Kong doesn't express any emotions. "It's illegal in my country, so I came here." He opens the cage and out comes a cricket. It hops onto its side of the divider.

"Why the interest in-"

When the referee is done irritating the crickets he pauses to gather everyone's attention. "On the left is Cri-Kee." Roars of excitement come from the crowd. Fans are wearing 'I heart Cri-Kee' T-shirts and hats. One fan carries a sign saying 'Have Cri-Kee mate with my cricket. I want a good fighter'.

"On the right side is SK Junior." The crowd gives hoots and laugher. China blinks. _"What is so funny, aru?" _A hint of amusement flickers on Hong Kong's face. It disappears too quickly for China determine if it was his imagination or not.

The referee pokes each cricket with a straw stick. China asks, "You named your cricket SK Junior? What do the initials stand for?"

"You'll find out soon."

The referee lifts the divider. Not a second later and SK Junior makes its move. It leaps at Cri-Kee with high-speed with its front legs. It forces Cri-Kee onto its back. SK Junior gropes Cri-Kee's front side. It makes squeaking sounds.

China screams, "It mentally traumatized Cri-Kee! It should be disqualified!" SK Junior gets off of Cri-Kee and starts hoping around the arena. Cri-Kee lies on its back, traumatized by the incident.

China glares at Hong Kong. "Why did you teach your cricket something perverted?"

Hong Kong replies, "I didn't, South Korea did. He influenced SK Junior to act like that. Why do you think the initials are SK?" China should have known. South Korea is not even here and he's trolling his scheme! This is a new level of trolling.

The referee shakes his head. "It's not against the rules." He gestures to the hyper cricket. "SK Junior is the winner." China grits his teeth. Knocking the other cricket out of the arena is not the only way to lose. If a cricket becomes too timid to fight back, stops chirping, or runs away from battle, the win goes to the other cricket.

China says, "I want a rematch, aru." When it comes to cricket fights, having a rematch right after the opponent looses it okay. Hopefully Cri-Kee isn't too traumatized.

Hong Kong thinks it over. "I accept, I suppose."

After getting the crickets ready to fight again, the referee lifts the divider. Cri-Kee seems even more aggressive and has a thirst for vengeance. SK Junior isn't giving up a fight. It looks like it knows Kung Fu.

China turns his attention away from the fight to Hong Kong. "What made you decide to enter cricket fights?"

"One time I came by your house, but you didn't answer the door. I went outback to see you training your cricket. You gave me the idea to enter cricket fights and earn money this way."

China rubs his chin in thought. He never noticed a presence while he was training Cri-Kee. He stops to say his next question. "What are you earning money for?" He's curious to know what his goal is. It's not every day Hong Kong goes out of his way to make money like this. Cricket fights is serious business.

Hong Kong allows a tiny smirk to appear on his face. "To buy something I'm not supposed to use."

China scratches his head. He's not in a mood to solve riddles right now. He has money to win. "What do you mean?" His eyes flicker back to the cricket match just in time to see Cri-Kee kick SK Junior out of the arena. SK Junior flies right into Hong Kong's mouth.

Hong Kong grabs his throat and makes choking noises. China sees a bulge kicking in his throat. The cricket is chirping very loudly. The crowd is caught between gasps and laughing like maniacs. Some people are either videotaping or taking pictures of Hong Kong's suffering. China panics and leaps to Hong Kong's side. He wraps his arms above Hong Kong's stomach. He squeezes and yells, "Spit it out!"

China keeps up the Heimlich maneuver until SK Junior is spit out of Hong Kong's mouth. SK Junior is lying on the ground in a pile of spit. The chirping is quiet for now.

China cries, "Are you okay?"

Hong Kong hunches over and coughs for a few moments. When he catches his breath, he remarks, "I suppose I am."

China laughs. "I guess I win the prize money."

Frugal money scheme: **Success**.

* * *

**In China, some people gamble using cricket fighting. It was a popular pastime in China and dates back more than 1,000 years to the Tang Dynasty. However, this sport has been losing its popularity in China. **

**Cricket fighting is also in Hong Kong, but it is illegal. **

**For China, cricket fighting is legal but gambling on cricket fights is illegal. **

**There is some Mulan, the Disney movie, influence in the beginning. I thought it fits just right with the scheme idea.**

**Cri-Kee is the name of the cricket in Mulan.**

**Buffy the Cricket Slayer is a play on Buffy the vampire slayer.**

**Cricket Mustang is a play on Roy Mustang from Full Metal Alchemist. **

**Jiminy Cricket is a character from the Disney movie Pinocchio.**

**Cricketmon is a play on Digimon. The Digimon monsters have "mon" in their names.**

**As it said in this chapter, after China sees how successful South Korea's talking elephant scheme is, there's a slight hint about him being open to the idea of using animals in money-making schemes. So basically this chapter idea has been planned since South Korea's talking elephant scheme. But, I never got around to posting China's second scheme until now. **

**What is Hong Kong's sudden desire for making money? It's a secret for now. ;) I gave a tiny hint on what it is. **

**TotallyRandomAuthor: ****The Baltic's reactions to Russia is one of my favorite scenes in this fic. I still have trouble keeping a poker face in that scene. XD I especially love Latvia's reactions. I couldn't resist. :)**

**HamburgersAndRum:**** I absolutely love that idea! :D I already have some…..um let's call them 'magic tricks.' The drunks won't see them coming. **

**Hammsters:**** Don't worry, Karma favors no body. No one can escape her wrath. Not even Russia. ;) *Hint hint* I forgot to answer your previous review about Romania. It'll be explained in his chapter how he can understand the abominable snowwoman and why it's not strange to him to be talking to one. His scheme answers the question. ;)**


	28. A Concert on Thursday, not Friday

**It's been a long time since I've updated. I recently got a summer job and it's taking up my time. Life happened too. The days go by so fast in summer vacation~ I won't let it stop me from updating. **

**To make it up to you guys, I made the scheme longer in length than usual.**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country (or a human), don't let them know until the end. However, it's an option not to let them know about the good deed at all. **

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together. **

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The golden rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

Greece sits in one of the seats facing the large stage with velvet curtains. The lights are dim, but people can find their way around. He takes a sip of his coffee and sets it down in the empty seat next to him. He needs to stay awake long enough for the auditions to finish. The auditions will range from singers, drummers, and other instruments. He's wants to do this all in one go. Plenty of people are coming to the auditions so he might get some decent band members.

He has a brilliant idea of starting a band. He'll be the manager while the band members do all the hard work. They'll tour all over his country performing on the streets for tips and hopefully land some gigs if they're lucky. He'll listen to good music and no effort is needed from him.

One of his many cats is on the arm-chair with a clip board in its mouth. The fluffy brown cat meows as it lightly shakes the clipboard. Greece gently takes it and pets the cat's head. It purrs lovingly as Greece scratches behind its ear. "Thank you."

Greece reads off the clip board, "Audition number one." A pudgy man enters from behind the curtains. He's wearing a green shirt with the print 'This is Sparta, bitch' with plain brown shorts. He stands in the middle of the stage where the spotlight is. The man seems very nervous. His fingers are twitchy and he's sweating a lot.

Greece keeps direct eye contact with the man. "What can you do?"

The man pats his large stomach in a rhythm. He hums with the beat he's making. Greece can't help but stare in bewilderment. His eyes focus on the man's chubby fingers, memorized by the man's stomach flapping with each pat. The performer does this for two minutes before finishing it with a "Ta da~" The man's face is flushed as he twiddles his fingers.

Greece blinks his eyes. "….What was that?" He wasn't expecting bizarre performances like this. Maybe some amateur players, but not this…performance.

The man's hand pulls his collar with nervousness. "Well, the poster said you were looking for unique talents so I thought why not do this? It's sure to draw crowds." Maybe Greece should be more specific if he makes another poster in the future for whatever reason. He'll type something along the lines of 'No stomach patting, please. Or anything strange.' The performer mumbles under his breath, "I think." This didn't escape Greece's ears.

Greece thinks to himself, _'I don't think it's a good idea to have him in my band. I doubt he actually has any talent in instruments or singing besides the stomach patting.' _He's not taking any iffy risks like this. People won't take the band seriously with the stomach patter. Heck, they won't even be labeled as a band. Freak show, more like it.

Greece takes his pen and crosses the man's name off the list. "Next."

The man wobbles closer to the front. "A-Am I in? Do I g-get the job?"

Greece sighs. "No."

The man drops to his knees. "Please, I'll do anything to be in your band."

He doesn't have time for this. The sooner he's done with the performances, the sooner he can take his nap. Coffee can only keep him awake for so long. "Security."

Ten cats dressed in cute blue security uniforms jump out from the right side of the curtains. They lurk closer to the performer and hiss at him. Greece needed security, so he used his military. They work for catnip and petting. They're more effective and he enjoys their company.

The man stands up and backs away, scared. "W-What are they doing." Greece ignores him. He admires the security uniforms on the cats. He must thank Japan for these Christmas presents. He may not be using the uniforms for its intended purpose, which is cosplay when he brings cats to anime conventions with Japan, but they came in handy.

The cats lunge at the man and bite him in varying places. The man runs around in circles screaming, "Holy mother of- Get off me!" He holds a tomcat away from his face. The man screams and runs to the exit backstage. The cats detach themselves from him. They calmly go back to their hiding spots behind the curtain.

Greece repeats, "Next."

Another man walks onto the stage. He's wearing nothing except swim trunks. Drops of water drip onto the floor, forming little puddles. Greece raises an eyebrow at the man's attire. He's wondering if the man just came from the beach and nearly forgot about his audition.

The second performer says, "I will now sing the national anthem." The man sounds like he's trying to suck up to him by being patriotic. He'll be the judge if it works or not.

He coughs into his hand before he starts singing. _"I knew thee from Candy land-" _Greece narrows his eyes.

This man is already off at a rough start. _'He better not be messing up the lyrics on purpose.'_

He snaps out of his furry for a moment to put his focus back on the performance. _"-hail, Emperor Romano. Hail-"_

Greece rarely gets mad over anything. In fact, it's difficult for him to even be mad, let alone show any signs of anger. This man is pushing his buttons for badly screwing up his national anthem. He doesn't even recognize it at all. It's destroyed beyond recognition by this singer. He questions who would mess up this badly. He understands why a singer would mess up a few words if they get too nervous singing in front of a crowd. But this is ridicules.

Is he mocking his national anthem and culture? He doesn't like this one bit. _'Why is Romano in my anthem anyway? He's Italian, not Greek.'_

Greece angrily says, "Next and security." He wants this man out of his sight and far away from him as possible.

The man pauses in mid singing. "But I haven't finished singing yet." The cats leap at him. Caught off guard, he takes a step back and slips from the puddle. He falls to the floor with the cats biting him. He rolls around the floor with the cats jumping on him so they don't get squished. He screams, "I'm allergic to cats." He wheezes uncontrollably as a furball lands inside his mouth.

The swim trunk man rolls himself off the stage and continues rolling around. The security cats become bored with him. They leap onto Greece's and cuddle with him. Greece's furry subsides a bit. He gently pets the tomcat on his lap.

The swim trunks man gets on his feet and runs out the exit, screaming for his mother the entire way.

A young man walks out from behind the curtains with his flute in hand. He looks at Greece, confused. "What's with all the screaming? I've been hearing it with each performer."

Greece nonchalantly replies, "They couldn't handle show business." He doesn't need to know about his security force unless he screws up badly or refuses to leave.

Greece remembers at the moment to cross off the other performer off the list. "You can start now."

The man nods and plays his flute. A beautiful melody flows out the flute. Greece can't help to hum along with the music. He sees potential with this performer. The money will come in hoards with this flute player.

The performer finishes his song and looks intently at Greece. The Greek nods. "You're in."

He grins. "So, how much are you paying me?"

Greece becomes nervous with his question. "We'll talk about money later." This is exactly the reason why Greece advertised in the first place. He wants to gather the most people as he possibly can in a short amount of time. The second reason, he wants cheap labor. If he wanted an expensive flute player, he would've become a talent scout or something.

The performer leaps from the stage and walks up to Greece's face. "Look, I don't want to be swindled of the salary I deserve. Pay me good money, or I'm leaving."

Greece doesn't need to yell 'security' for his security force to attack. The cats screech as they launch themselves at the flute player.

The flute player ducks to the ground and the cats soar over him. He gets up and runs out of the theatre yelling all the way.

Greece yawns. "I'll never find a decent band member if all the performances are like this."

A man dashes from behind the curtains. He slides on his knees and speaks into the microphone. "I'll show all those cowards how show business is done."

Greece takes a closer look at the man. He feels like he recognizes the man from somewhere. He's very familiar.

His eyes widen as he sees the familiar mask on his face. "Turkey?"

Turkey stops singing and glares at Greece. He jabs at finger in Greece's direction. "It's you!"

He jumps off the stage and jabs the microphone in Greece's chest. "What are you doing here?" Turkey looks towards the other empty seats. "Where's the judge?"

Greece slaps the microphone from Turkey's hand. "I'm the judge. Why are you here?" It's sort of shocking to see Turkey in his country on his own free will. He must have sinister motives.

Turkey huffs. "It's none of your business if I want to shoot to stardom and make tons of cash."

Greece and Turkey get into a heated argument over the best ways to become famous. They both fail to see three identical women walking onto the stage. Their long black hair stops at their waists and their bangs almost cover their eyes.

One of the triplets coughs into their hands. "We'll be humming some high notes." Her voice stops the arguing. Turkey takes a seat on the other side of Greece.

Greece nods. "You can start now."

The triplets hum the high notes in unison. The two countries lean out of their seats. Greece is mesmerized by their singing. His senses dull and the tension in his body is fading away. He wants to listen to them all day.

The women stop humming. They ask in unison, "Well?"

Greece snaps out of the trance. His eye flickers to Turkey. The Turk is slouched back in his seat with a dazed look in his eyes. Drool falls from his mouth.

Greece's mind is struck with a realization. The trance these women put them both in and Turkey's dazed state. There's only one possible explanation. "You women wouldn't happen to be sirens?"

The women simply reply with boredom in their voices, "Yes, we are."

Greece must have these women on his band. With them, he doesn't need to continue the auditions. He can have them hypnotize people into liking the band. He sees them as a goldmine. Hopefully they don't want a huge salary.

The women squeal when they see his security force licking themselves near the curtain. They rush to the cats and cuddle with them. One of the women squeaks, "I love cats. I wish I had a pet cat." The other two women agree with her.

Greece smiles. "I'll give you some cats in exchange for your work for me. You can also cuddle with the other cats as much as you want." The sirens hastily nod their heads in agreement.

"_This will be easy money. Maybe the band can shoot for stardom."_

* * *

Japan is backstage with his friend Greece. He readies his video camera as Greece talks. "I need you to record my band's performance. I want them to rise to international fame." Greece's band has become popular with his citizens in recent days. He wants to increase his money income with a larger audience.

Three women are chattering to each other a few feet from them. "Are they the band members?" Greece replies that they are.

"What instruments do they play?" Japan is curious. It's two minutes before show time and he doesn't see them carrying any instruments. Surely it's in a case nearby somewhere.

Greece calmly says, "They're singing."

"B-But if you only have singers, wouldn't your group be considered a choir instead?"

Greece picks up a cat holding a tambourine. "No, we're a band. See, he's playing an instrument."

The Greek pets the cat's head. "I prefer the title band. It makes more money. Too bad it's not an all male band. We could've become a boy band and earn even more money." Japan drops the conversation. He's not going to push it and trample Greece's logic. It would be impolite to do so. Besides, it's time for the band to go onstage now.

One of the singers comes up to Greece. "Is it alright we change the song? We found a cool new song on YouTube earlier today and we thought it's amazing."

Greece says, "It's alright. You're the ones singing, not me."

The woman gets really excited. "Don't worry. You won't regret it." She leaves them and follows her other sisters to the stage. Greece follows her with the cat in his arms.

Japan asks, "You're going too? I thought you were the manager?"

Greece scratches behind the cat's ear. "He gets stage fright without me."

The women get into positions and face the cheering crowd, which the majority are men. Greece is lying on the floor with the cat on his stomach. The cat is clawing at the tambourine. Japan hits the record button and waits for the performance to start.

The women say in unison into the microphone, "We're going to sing a new song a girl on YouTube made."

The sirens grin as they put their hands on their hips. "_Seven a.m., waking up in the morning, gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs, gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal~" _The cat lazily pats the tambourine. Greece continues petting the cat.

Japan winces at the song. His hand touches his ear. A while ago, Greece provided him some special earmuffs coated in beeswax. _"It's not working. I can still hear them." _He wants to take them off, but Greece made him promise not to do so when the women are singing.

Shouts coming from the crowd alert him. Japan focuses his camera on the crowd to see them parting for someone. Turkey walks up to the stage and climbs onto it. His clothes are ruffled and the stench on him is unbearable. Japan resists the urge to cover his nose.

Turkey slaps the microphone and sends it flying into the air. "I am saving everyone from horrible music. It can't let it become a musical sensation! Not on my watch."

Greece yawns, "Security." The security force made up of cats swarm Turkey. They jump him and tear at his clothes.

Turkey screams as he falls off the stage. "Greece, you cheater!" The crowd catches him. Turkey crowd surfs with the cats biting and scratching at him. The band ignores Turkey's screaming for help in favor of continuing the song.

Japan feels conflicted on what to do. _"I want to help Turkey, but I have to record the performance." _

After some thinking, he decides to tend to Turkey's injuries as soon as they stop singing.

* * *

_A few hours after Japan's video of the performance goes viral on YouTube…._

America puts the volume on his computer to the maximum. He sings off tune with the music. _"__It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday_~"

"TURN OFF THE BLOODY MUSIC, YOU GIT!"

"Nah ah Iggy. This music is awesome."

"Don't call me that and The Beatles are better! You have no taste in music just like with your food."

"You can't appreciate people getting their fifteen minutes of fame on YouTube."

"No one can forget something like this no matter how much they drink."

There's silence for a few moments. "Don't drink! I don't want to be stuck here until you're sober again. I have to leave soon."

Frugal money scheme: **Success**.

* * *

**Sirens are in Greek mythology. ****Beeswax was your only defense against them. You put them in your ears so you can't hear them singing.**

**I didn't want to wait until Friday to update this so I did it today. :) I had to do the infamous Friday song. Poor Turkey tried to save us all. XD**

**The swim trunk man sang the poetic version, by Rudyard Kipling, of the national Anthem of Greece. I was surprised that there are different versions of the Greek national Anthem. **

**I have a surprise announcement to make. I'm thinking of making a side fic to this. The reason I won't put those chapters in the same fic is to prevent possible confusion and to keep the flow of the original schemes. **

**It will have deleted scenes: Romano's birthday party scheme, Turkey's adventure to Greece's concert, Belarus' other victims in her teddy bear schemes, Russia's car crash scheme on England (Which I cut out. It's not in the final version of his scheme.), etc. **

**So, would anyone be interested to reading them? I'd like to hear some feedback in the reviews.**


	29. Stupid Magic Tricks

**HamburgersAndRum**** had the awesome idea of having the Awesome Trio running a scam at a bar with 'magic' tricks. I had a lot of fun thinking of ideas of how they're going to do it. Poor drunks. XD**

**Sorry for the lateness. Got caught up in life and work so I didn't have much time. I'm not gonna bore you with details of my life so let's get on with this chapter. :)**

**1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country (or a human), don't let them know until the end. However, it's an option not to let them know about the good deed at all. **

**2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.) **

**3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.**

**4. Countries can team up and work together. **

**5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money. **

**The golden rule: ****If possible, don't spend money to make money.**

* * *

The bar is rowdy with the drunks tonight. There are more customers than usual because of the open mic night. Men and women horribly sing along with the singer as they wave their beers in the air. The doors of the bar open to reveal the Awesome Trio: Prussia, America, and Denmark.

America is holding a large wooden box in his arms labeled in white 'Prop Box.' Prussia pats America's back in a friendly manner. He grins at the American deep in thought, which is kind of surprising. "No hard feelings about not getting the refund, right?" France and Spain are too busy doing work for their bosses so Prussia couldn't invite them along. So, he thought why not assemble the second best group, the Awesome Trio?

America snaps out of his thoughts and grins at him. "Don't worry about it. I'm good." Prussia must admit that he is still shocked (but he doesn't show it) that America has no hard feelings about the kissing booth and not getting his money back. America seemed fine when Prussia asked him if he wanted to run a scam at a bar with the Awesome Trio. For a while, he was so sure the American would try to get revenge via prank. America was still angry about the refund thing the last time Prussia saw him, which was at the convenience store in Norway.

Denmark wraps an arm around America's shoulder. "That's great. Now let's go scam some drunks. They'll be easy targets." The American smiles as he easily shifts the large prop box under his arm.

Prussia is pleased America agreed to join them. With America's super strength, they can bring along all the stuff they want. His cursed mistletoe inspired him to run a scam to perform 'magic' tricks at a bar. None of them obviously can do magic. (Not like he believes in it, anyway.) So they're going to resort to doing some cheap tricks.

Prussia looks at the crowded bar stools with the bartender serving the alcohol. He sizes up all the drinkers, determining which ones are the most drunk and gullible-looking. Denmark excitedly points to a man wearing a plain shirt and sweatpants. "I choose him. He looks wasted enough." The drunken man is swerving left to right in his seat. He's lucky not to have fallen to the floor yet.

Prussia grins. "You can go first. Make it good."

Denmark casually strides up to the man with America and Prussia closely following behind. Denmark catches the drunken man's attention by snapping his fingers. "You wanna see a cool magic trick? It'll be worth it."

The man cheerily smiles. "You're a wizard, Harry?" Prussia snickers into his hand. They got lucky: he's a happy drunk. He won't be a hassle to convince that they can do 'magic.'

America opens the prop box just as Denmark reaches his hand into it. He pulls out a plain black cloak and a pointy black hat. He puts them on and grabs a stick from the box, too. Denmark waves the stick in the man's face. "Of course I am. And for a small donation, I'll show you some magic."

The man's hand sloppily takes out some money and hands it to Denmark. The Dane slips into his pocket. Denmark is the one who's going to hold all the money they scam tonight.

Denmark chuckles, "I'll make the world go dark. All you have to do is close your eyes until the count of ten."

The man does as he's instructed to do. He shuts his eyes and struggles to stay still. Denmark begins the count with one. He takes out a blindfold from the prop box and wraps it around the drunk's eyes. When Denmark is satisfied with his work, he skips all the numbers and says, "Ten."

The man is silent for a moment. He asks, "I-I can't see."

Denmark remarks, "You're blind. The spell misfired and took your sight away instead of making the room dark."

America pipes in, "Sorry to say it's irreversible. Your sight is gone forever."

The man franticly claws at his blindfold. "Shit, I'm blind. How could do this to me, Potter!" He fails to realize the blindfold he's wearing. He drops to the ground with a scream. He rolls around the floor saying he'll behave and stay off alcohol if that's all it takes for his eye sight to return.

Denmark and America laugh hard at the 'blind' man's overreaction. Prussia shakes his head in disappointment. "Is that all you got? It's lame." He thinks the blindfold thing is unoriginal and cheesy. He could do better.

Denmark sends him a sly grin. "Oh, you think you can top that?"

Prussia smirks. "I know I can. Watch and learn from the master." He'll show them what an awesome trick is done. He turns his attention to the man sitting next to the 'blind' man's empty stool. He looks drunk enough.

Prussia grabs the man's attention and asks, "You like women, right?" The man happily agrees. Prussia takes a step back. He turns his body slightly to the side so he can get the objects easier from the box. He keeps the prop box out of the man's sight.

Prussia snickers a bit. "Then you'll love the spell I'm going to do. I'll make a woman appear." The man giggles in excitement.

Denmark whispers into America's ear, "Is he just going to call a woman over here? That's _lame_."

Prussia ignores their loud whispering. They'll see how amazing his 'magic' trick is. It's not as simple as they think it is. "Close your eyes and imagine a beautiful woman." The drunk man covers his eyes at his command. Denmark pick pockets the man's wallet and removes at the money. He returns the wallet after he's satisfied.

Prussia withholds his laughter as he slides the two melons up the man's shirt. He positions the melons at the right place. "You can look now. Kesesese~"

The man opens his eyes. He blinks and takes in his surroundings. He glares at Prussia when he doesn't see the woman he wanted. "Your magic sucks. There's no sexy woman."

Prussia laughs, "My spell misfired too and now you're a woman. Check your chest if you don't believe me."

The man cups his chest to find his 'boobs.' He stiffens as he stares at it. His hands drop to his sides in shock. The melons fall out of his shirt and rolls on the ground. The Awesome Trio freeze, unsure of the man's reaction to the new development.

The 'blind' man slumps back onto his seat. He gapes openly at the other drunk. "Your boobs fell off!" Prussia curses inwardly at him. His victim is sure to notice the missing 'boobs' now.

The man grips his chest. He screams, "Ahhh! I look like a man."

Prussia chimes, "Don't worry, your boobs will grow back." Denmark and America burst into laughter. Denmark leans over holding his chest. America's booming laugh attracts almost everyone's attention. Well, the sober and not nearly as drunk ones.

The 'woman' hasn't calm down. 'She' is a crying mess surrounded by other drunk women who hear 'her' distress. The women coo and tell assurances that 'her' boobs will defiantly grow back soon. They don't seem to realize the 'woman's' true gender.

The 'woman' cries, "Curse you Potter!"

Prussia chuckles, "I'm not Potter. I am Dumbledore." The Prussian puts on a pointy black hat and a long, flowing cloak.

Denmark has difficulty trying to stop his laughing. He wheezes, "Good one. Sorry I doubted your skills."

America manages to stop his laughing too. "I want a turn too! It's no fair you guys are having all the fun."

Prussia hums in thought. He should let the American have a chance. It's the least he can do because he's not forking up a refund. "Alright." He waggles his finger at him like a parent scolding their child. "But it better be a good one. No cheesy magic tricks, got it mister."

America gives a salute and keeps the prop box under one arm. "Yes sir! I'll make you proud, sir." America marches off looking for his next victim. The area they're in is getting really crowded with everyone comforting the 'woman.'

America exclaims, "I think I see England over there." Sure enough, the blonde gentleman is drinking to his heart's content at the end of bar stools. He drops the the cup he's drinking from and slumps forward onto the counter.

Denmark scratches his head. "I don't think he has much money left over from the kissing booth." Their victims from the kissing booth are low on cash. They're very overprotective of their wallets. It's gotten so bad they refuse to open them in front of the members of the Kissing Booth Company. (Both the official and unofficial ones.)

America ignores him and heads straight for England. Prussia and Denmark linger nearby, wondering what the American is going to do.

America gives a big smile and pats England's back. "Yo Iggy, let's go grab some burgers from McDonalds. You're paying." Prussia face palms at America's idiocy. He lost point of the objective.

The Englishman grumbles under his breath, "Be quiet Mint Bunny. I'm trying to rest."

Denmark leans into America's ears and quickly whispers, "We're not freeloading food right now. Do a magic trick. Ya know how much he raves on about it his black magic." Prussia is dumbfounded on how America screwed up the perfect opportunity. This scam is perfect for a drunk England. He won't shut up about his magic.

Prussia rubs his eyebrows irritably. "Leave the magic tricks to me and Denmark. Stick to being the luggage carrier."

A thought suddenly occurs to Prussia. Looking between England and America, he realized something. England referred America as 'Mint Bunny.' He asks, "Doesn't England react over dramatically to America when he's drunk?" This revelation silences the other two countries to reflect about it.

America remarks, "Now that you mention it, you're right." America sets the prop box on the floor. He grabs England's face off the counter and forces him to look him in the face. He slowly asks, "Who am I?"

England stares into his eyes. The countries hold their breaths as they await England's reaction. Prussia is not sticking around to hear England's sobbing. He doesn't have all night scamming people.

England slurs, "Bond. James Bond." It's silent for a few moments before they laugh loudly. America nearly drops England in his laughter.

Denmark holds his stomach. "H-He doesn't even recognize you." First he mistakes America for his imaginary friend and now James Bond. America doesn't even look like him.

A sly grin slips onto America's face. "I have one last act for the night to bring in all the money we can possibly get."

Prussia rolls his eyes. He doesn't trust him with another attempt. It's probably something stupid relating to hamburgers again. "Is it food related?"

America simply replies, "No." He doesn't elaborate what it is or anything. Not even a hint. The smile on America's face is creeping him out. It's not Russia or Belarus creepy, it's kind of unnatural. It has a small ominous and forbidding feel to it.

America's eyes flickers to the open mic stage towards the back of the bar. Denmark catches his eye movement. The Dane jokingly says, "Planning on singing up there?"

The former colony smiles at England. "I'm Bond and I have a mission for you. The British are the best spies so you are my first choice."

England pridefully replies, "Of course we are."

* * *

The countries are on the stage facing the crowd full of drunks and sober people. Denmark found a janitor's bucket in a supply closet earlier. It has sloppy writing reading 'tip jar.' They're going to put all the money that flies onto the stage into the bucket after their performance is over.

America is confidently speaking into the microphone explaining about their greatness and the awesome magic tricks they're going to perform. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we're going to do some mind blowing magic tricks here. Be sure to tip us…."

Prussia glances awkwardly at England. He's wearing his black waiter's skirt and cuffs. The skirt barely covers his family jewels. The women, and even some men, gaze at England hungrily. Prussia flashes back when it was only three minutes until they were supposed to go on stage.

_Prussia leans against a bathroom stall, groaning with boredom in his voice. "Hurry up England. We're supposed to go on soon." Denmark and Prussia were satisfied with their wizard attire so they felt they didn't need to change. America, however, refused to change. Not even to anything James Bond related. He said he didn't need it " 'cause he's the hero." _

_The shuffling from inside the stall stops. The door slams open to reveal England in his infamous waiter outfit. Denmark, who is drinking beer, drops the bottle. It shatters on the ground. The brown shards scatter at his feet. Denmark gets control of his coughing fit. "W-Why are you wearing that!" _

"_It's classified." England seemed to have regained a sense a balance. He sobered up a little, just not enough. He still must be drunk since he's still following America's orders. The American fist pumps the air. "We're ready for action."_

_Denmark asks, "Why is he wearing that and…did you put it in the prop box?"_

_America sheepishly smiles, "I grabbed some random stuff and shoved it into the prop box. It came in handy in the end."_

_Prussia sighs. "You didn't answer the question." They deserve an answer if they have to stand next to England wearing it the entire time. America is not worming his way out of this. _

_America wraps his arm around England's shoulders. "Fan service. We gotta appeal to women too, ya know. It's only fair. We had a position for the magician's assistant so I thought we'd make more money with England. He still has those thin eyebrows that hypnotizes the chicks."_

Prussia shudders. If it was a sexy female assistant on stage, he wouldn't be complaining. He'd have some trouble keeping his eyes off her body and lose focus while doing the performance. With England here, he wants his eyes anywhere but him.

America points at Denmark. "Hit the music!" America lines up next to the other two countries while England steps up to the mic. Denmark complies and presses the play button on the stereo. The lyrics of 'Sexy Back' comes out. England rubs his hands all over his chest and body, earning loud hoots and screams of excitement from the audience.

Denmark cups his hands over America's ear. "This isn't magic."

Prussia fumes as he watches England strut across the stage. America is a total copy cat. He's using his use-sexiness-to-woo-the-crowd formula. He bitterly remembers his car wash scheme forced to an abrupt end.

America whispers back, "Duh, this is the opening act. We gotta introduce our 'lovely' assistant."

Prussia whispers loudly, "I don't remember magic shows like this." He wouldn't mind if it was a sexy vixen on stage doing this instead of England. It's disturbing for him to watch the Englishman do this stunt.

"Since when do any of the countries do schemes the normal way?" Prussia agrees with America on this. Doing things the normal way is boring. It's more fun to spice things up. But this is going too far. He swears he sees a video camera somewhere in the audience. England's going to throw a fit if this ends up on YouTube, or even worse, France's Facebook page. The report button will be abused so much.

The crowd throws coins to the stage. The ones closest to the stage drop their money in the tip jar. The Awesome Trio hurriedly grab the coins and slip them into the jar. When the song ends, England stops into a sexy pose. He puts one on his hip, leans on one leg, and winks at the audience. They go ballistic and toss even more money. After the Awesome Trio quickly put the money in the almost full tip jar, America grabs the mic again. Prussia frowns. He wants to hog the spotlight too.

America smiles to the crowd. "Sorry ladies and gents, it's almost closing time." The crowd groans in disappointment. America winks at them. "Don't worry. We have one last _special_ act for the night- er morning." Prussia doesn't like the look in America's eyes when he emphasized on the word special. He has a sneaking suspicion he's up to something.

He gestures to England. "My lovely assistant will get the box of mystery for us." As England walks across the stage, people hoot and whistle crudely. In response, the Englishman winks back. Prussia has a feeling England reverts to his former pirate self when he goes beyond his usual sad drunk self.

England comes back with a medium sized box and duck tape. America opens the box. "I will make Harry Potter disappear in the box of mystery."

A angry voice is heard over the crowd. "Fuck you Potter! Slytherin for the win!" Sounds like the 'blind' man is still angry about his sight. When he's sober enough he'll take off the blindfold himself.

America grabs Denmark's shoulders. Denmark protests. "I don't think I'll fit in there."

"Don't chicken out on me. Get in." The crowd shouts for him to get in the box repeatedly. Facing pressure from the crowd, Denmark reluctantly lifts himself into the box. America closes the box's flaps. He stretches the duck tape and wraps it around the box.

America smirks at his handy work. "For my final trick as a magician, I will make him disappear on the count of three." Prussia doesn't know what America is up to. He can't possibly trick everyone into thinking Denmark 'disappeared.'

"One….." America takes a few steps back, almost stepping on the tip jar.

"Two….." England's body tenses up.

"I choose you, Iggy!" England launches himself at Prussia and lands on him. The Prussian falls harshly on his back. He curses under his breath as he struggles to get free. He pushes against England's chest, failing.

Prussia moves his head to see America running off the stage with the tip jar in hand. He glares harshly at him. "What the hell are you doing?"

America, who is at the entrance of the bar, turns around. He smirks at him. "Americans don't let people who cheat them off the hook. Thanks for the refund, dudes."

The box Denmark is in falls to the side from all his punching and kicking. "What's going on!"

England shouts, "Get in the getaway car, Bond. I'll meet you at the rendezvous point." Prussia stares at England blankly. He doesn't even have anything to say anymore.

He grumbles, "Guess he was still pissed about the refund thing. We still have the scam money in Denmark's pocket, but still….."

Frugal money scheme: **Success**. Don't mess with Americans. Revenge is our specialty.

* * *

**Rule update: ****Countries can team up and work together. (Be careful who you pick. The money might not be split evenly if you don't.)**

**Who would go to a magic show if England was doing it in his waiter's skirt? I know I would. XD**

**Because a lot of people would love to see the deleted scenes, I'll post it a few days (or sooner) after the time this chapter of Frugal Money Schemes is posted. I was thinking about writing deleted scenes after reading a review from ****Guest**** wondering about what happened during Romano's birthday party scheme. I wondered how to go about this. At first I thought about posting a bonus chapter plus a regular chapter at the same time. I wasn't willing to do that.**

**After I posted more chapters, more deleted scenes started to pop up. Because of that, I decided maybe I should post a side fic containing all the deleted scenes. I don't want to keep them to myself and eventually forget about them. **

**You'll never know what you say in a review will inspire me to do. ;)**

**Pastadream:**** I'll do a New Zealand chapter trying to raise the funds for Christchurch quake. :) I have to do some research first. PMs giving me some pointers will be appreciated. It'll get the chapter out faster, too.**

**Erin Elric:**** Speaking of spin offs, I'm planning on doing at least six of them for this fic. (Maybe more if I feel up to it.) It's been flowing around my mind for a few months but I've never mentioned it. Some will have a focus on money while others do not. The spin offs will expand the countries' original ideas. I'll write in the author's notes in Frugal Money Schemes when a spin-off is posted. The spin offs will usually be sequels to a chapter and won't follow later chapters of Frugal Money Schemes. The first spin-off **_**might**_** be China's. I already know how the chapters will go so it's a possibility it might be posted first, unless I feel rather strongly to write one of the other spin offs first. **

**It'll be a while before a spin-off is posted. I want to post a few more chapters of my other Hetalia fic "The Masked Toilet Incident" before I post a spin-off. I should get around to updating that fic… ^^***

**Purestrongpoem:**** The Three women are just minor OCs. I'm not referencing anyone this time. These women will make one more brief appearance in another scheme in the future.**

**Sakura Ichigo Morihiko:**** One of your theories is on the right track. I won't confirm which one. Everyone will find out what Hong Kong is not supposed to have in the next chapter. :)**

**Guest:**** It is official: South Korea is the King of all Trolls and Scheme Crashers. He doesn't even need to be there to crash a scheme. XD There's going to be more animal schemes in the future. I'm glad you like them.**


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